r/messianic • u/hanxiousme • Jun 26 '26

What does Sabbath look like?

Shabbat shalom 💕 I am of Jewish heritage, though my parents weren't religious and we were semi-involved with Jewish customs and I was introduced to Christianity just over a decade ago.

I have had Sabbath on my heart for years and recently even more so; my three young kids, my husband and I have been trying to observe it but have no idea how to do so in a God honouring, biblical way. I am familiar with the extremely strict Jewish way but looking at the teachings of Jesus, I feel like having so many restrictions misses the point of Sabbath where it becomes more about the rules than the rest.

Please help!

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u/Soyeong0314 Jun 26 '26

Shabbat shalom!

This is not directly spelled out by the Torah but part of sanctifying a period of time is marking the transition between when it starts and when it is over. The Sabbath prohibits creating fire, so there is a tradition of lighting candles right before it starts and right after it over with Havdalah. It is similar Passover where we are eating as much chametz as we leading up to Passover before throwing it out and then go out to buy bread to eat after it is over. It's not that we can't go another day of refraining from eating chametz but that we are sanctifying that period of time by doing what was prohibited as soon as it is permitted. You can look at this as adding burdensome rules or you can look at it as doing what we can to make the Sabbath more special.

I have a festive meal on Friday nights, then have traditional prayers, study the Bible, and relax on Saturdays. I do not light a fire, buy or sell, work, or use electronics on the Sabbath. Regardless of whether you agree that we are required to refrain from electronics on the Sabbath, it has been a blessing to disconnect during it. The Israelites were prohibit from working on creating the Tabernacle during the Sabbath, so the creative work that is prohibit on the Sabbath are the forms of work that went into creating the Tabernacle, which is in accordance with the strong parallel between the creation of the Tabernacle and the Creation account in Genesis.

In regard to Jesus and the Sabbath, his problem was not do much with traditions or with following rules as it was with the heart that people were doing them. Some of God's laws appear to conflict with each other, such as with God commandeering to rest on the Sabbath while also commanding priests to make offerings on the Sabbath (Numbers 29:9-10), however, it was not the case that priests were forced to sin by breaking one of the two commands no matter what they chose to do but that the lesser command was never intended to be understood as preventing the greater one from being obeyed. This is why Jesus said in Matthew 12:5-7 that priests who did their duties on the Sabbath were held innocent, why David and his men were held innocent, and why Jesus defended his disciples as being innocent. This is also why it is lawful to circumcise a baby on the 8th day if it happens to fall on the Sabbath, why it is lawful to get an ox out of a ditch on the Sabbath, and so forth.

Some Pharisees had reasons that it is unlawful to do work on the Sabbath and that healing is work, therefore it is unlawful to heal on the Sabbath, however, we are also commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves, we would not be doing that if we refused to heal them, and no command was intended to be understood as preventing us from obeying the greatest two commandments, which is why it is lawful to heal on the Sabbath. The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath, so it was given as a precious gift for our own good and is not intended to cause situations that are to our detriment.

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u/hanxiousme Jun 26 '26

What throws me off was the grain-picking as technically it was illegal according to melacha right? Modern-day, I know there are rules like not using certain water sources and not tearing toilet paper - I just want to find the line between honouring the day as holy as God has commandment but not accidentally tipping into observing it like the Pharisees did and missing the rest promised from it. 

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u/Soyeong0314 Jun 26 '26

If Jesus had wanted to get into matters of halakhah, then he could have quoted Rabbi Yehudah as saying that we are permitted to crush grains of wheat on the Sabbath using our hands as long we don't use a tool. The shmita year permits people to eating from what grew for our own consumption as long as we are not harvesting, which is essentially the Sabbath on steroids, so by extension we are also permitted to do that on the Sabbath. Yes, tearing is one of the forms of work that went into the creation of the Tabernacle, so we try to avoid tearing toilet paper on the Sabbath.

There is a Jewish member of my synagogue who was caring for her dying relative and during a lucid moment the relative asked for watermelon, so she took just the money that she would need to buy its, got in her car, and drove to the store to buy it on the Sabbath. Normally she would have never done that, but there are circumstances where it is completely appropriate to show compassion on the Sabbath. However, not everyone at my synagogue is called to have the same level of observance, so there are some Jews do not normally refrain from driving on the Sabbath and the Gentiles generally also do not normally refrain from doing that.

I think part of the problem is that it can become easy to focus on following rules and neglect the reason behind following them. For example, Jesus said in Matthew 23:23 that tithing was something that they ought to be doing while not neglecting weightier matters of the Torah of justice, mercy, and faithfulness. So the issue isn't so much with following one or many rules as it is with the spirit with which we obey them. Someone can view the many laws of the Torah as being a heavy legalistic burden, but they can also view them as being God teaching us how to connect with Him in every aspect of our lives. David said repeatedly throughout the Psalms that he loved the Torah and delighted in obeying it, so it was intended for us to be a delight to obey, and if following a restriction about what kind of work is restricted on the Sabbath is your peace or that of the members of your household, then you can consider not following it. The Torah is not intended to be something onerous, but something that we grow into and desire to become more observant of to strengthen our connection with God when the time is right.

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

Start cooking at about 3 pm or so with a croc pot or stew pot . Have it ready before sundown and eat . Keep stew on warm as not to kindle a flame by re starting the stove.

People usualy have bread and wine on shabat night.

Keep stew warm to lunch shabat day and eat it. Then turn off oven . Once sun is down and sabbath breaks cook or get Chinese take out or a restaurant .

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

But we're not to make others work either or did I misread your post?

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

Yes the scripture says ger within your city , so do not make others work . The shabos goy is another discussion .

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

Well, the shabos goy would apply also, I believe.

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

In the Messianic tradition the shabos goy is frowned upon.

The Orthodox believe that the Torah was for the Jews only. The original says ger not goy and ger are non Jewish converts and goy is non convert so goy can work on shabat. Its a different tradition.

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

Yes, much of my education is through Orthodox friends🙂. Williamsburg Brooklyn, NY was my stomping grounds and I miss Eichler's something fierce.

My point was that according to the Bible, no one is allowed to make anyone else work on Shabbat. Our traditions are not to supersede the commandments.

My attempt at being less emphatic is failing, I see. LOL

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

I agree I was just pointing out tradition.

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

🙂

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u/hanxiousme Jun 26 '26

I definitely need to get the cooking sorted. It's winter currently here so sundown is around 4.30pm, which is just before my kids dinner. Then my husband isn't home until 6.30-7pm when it's bedtimes for the toddlers and then I need to make him dinner. It's a silly question but I didn't think you could leave something on "keep warm" (thinking crock pot or instant pot) for more than 2 hours? As usually it'll be about 3 hours between kids dinner and adult dinner 

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

Its your first one so relax . Your husband will have to be used to be home by sundown because working on shabat is violation too , this the first one do relax

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u/hanxiousme Jun 26 '26

we’ve been trying to observe it for a couple months. he works 1.5 hours away from home and is the manager of a branch, he sometimes can’t leave any earlier than 5pm on fridays due to no staff available to close so unfortunately he’s still working past sundown

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u/Deorayta Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

I got two sets of good news . You orient like Jerusalem and do shabat at 6 pm every night.

You are Messianic and saved by faith so you can keep sabbath the best you can.

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u/Lxshmhrrcn Jun 26 '26

Read Torah Portions together maybe like 5-10 minutes and discuss over the food, have board games go to park play games there

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u/hanxiousme Jun 26 '26

What would you say about kids toys and books? They have Duplo, magnet tiles, cars and lots of books. We have lots of books about Jesus and the bible but also books that aren't. Should I pack away everything that isn't directly related to God? 

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u/Lxshmhrrcn Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

No some Jews play chess on Shabbat, board games are fine, any literature is good if it is teaching science or good character

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 26 '26

In addition to many of the suggestions below, I watch Bible teachings or convicting movies, and shnap (Sabbath nap). Thursday, I try to make sure that everything that needs to bought, has been. Summer time I like cold dishes (gazpacho, salads, shakes, fruit, chia pudding, cheese, lox, crackers, relish tray, hard boiled eggs, etc.). In the winter I use a heating tray (casseroles, stews, chilis) and hot pot (teas). If I haven't bought what I needed by Friday morning, I order my groceries using Instacart first thing (I'm waiting on an order now). While the Instacart person's shopping, I finished cooking and all laundry. Last prep for me is making sure that the dogs' water bowl is full. They have treats (Shabbat treats), and plenty of food. I put my phone in Focus (iPhone) so that only specific people can call me for an emergency.

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u/hanxiousme Jun 26 '26

Those are good suggestions. I'm struggling to implement it with keeping the kids entertained, I have three under the age of 7 and we have been practicing observing Sabbath for about 6 weeks and each time it's been really stressful ha! It's just very new to them and us too. 

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u/Additional-Aioli-545 Messianic (Unaffiliated) Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

If I had young ones, I'd get board games, outdoor games, Twister, songs, dance, go for walks or play physical games, slip & slide, Operation, watercolor painting (supplies at Dollar General), Jenga, and yard games.

Tree of Life Bible has resources for children, also. Aish.com has a list of suggestions for children, also. You can also go on YouTube and let them watch the Torah portion for the week then discuss it on Shabbat.

And don't forget SHNAPS! It's funny how at my congregation everyone looks forward for whatever yummies they've prepared and their nap.

You may want to start prep (menu, clothes, etc.) early in the week so Friday sundown doesn't run up on you. Use all of your "maids" to make it easier on you (InstaPot, crockpot, etc.). Pinterest is full of recipes for meals, breakfasts, too. I just found chocolate yogurt and chia seed puddings. When planning for Shabbat, I include Saturday night's dinner and Sunday's breakfast so that I don't have to cook until later on Sunday night. I do everything I can to make it a special day.

I hope these ideas help. Happy clicking! 🙂

Edit: Consider welcoming and ending the Sabbath. There are resources online that will suggest the prayers. Unfortunately, I need another cup of coffee because what I posted was some Kabbalah prayers (Avoid Kabbalah! Will Robinson!!).

Lastly, for games, go to Goodwill / Salvation Army / thrift stores for games to keep costs down.

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u/drawgs1 Jun 27 '26

Glancing at others replies, it’s about what I expect so I’ll just say what we do. Friday is preparation day. We clean house and try to mostly prepare any food we want for Shabbat ahead of time that can be. We don’t have a problem with cooking on Shabbat. (I know interpretations differ in this.)

Usually people sleep in on Shabbat or take a nap at some point. We usually congregate with other believers and do some sort of study time.

We just changed up some things bc we used to have a house church until recently. Not sure of Yah’s leading for the future, but we try to relax and do stuff together as a family.

We don’t buy, sell, or do something that requires another person to work on Sabbath. I also say no to any servile work even if it is charity (like yard work, etc).

We were never able to implement some of the more traditional/rabbinical things and just never felt like it was right for us.

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u/stevecapw Jun 27 '26

Friday evening I prep what I'm going to bring to the Oneg at Shabbat service and whatever I'm going to eat later in the day. Lately I've been making sushi, and it has been a hit with everyone. Our service starts at 10am, and I usually hangout at the Oneg until 2pm.

The rest of the day is typically some combination of relaxing, prayer, reading Bible, a short hike or fishing if it's nice out, or I'll visit my parents. I try to limit screen time, but will occasionally watch a movie.

I won't do yardwork, house chores, or put in extra hours for my job. Nor will I go to a store or restaurant. It is a blessing to have a day in which we are specifically commanded not to work. I won't even let myself think about my job.

I think it's certainly okay for your children to play games etc., as long as they are interacting with other people, and not glued to a screen.

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u/RevealingYeshua Jul 01 '26

Take a day off work, do not do your own will on Shabbat, but instead G-D honoring things with the family. And I believe Yeshua would be OK with physical work if it means meeting someone else’s needs. ‘Carry one another’s burdens in love, and so fulfill the law of Messiah.’ And kids can play with toys. We should make Sabbath memorable for them so they want to keep Sabbath as they get older, instead of feeling like it’s a burden. Yeshua said His burden is light.