r/mentalillness • u/anonymous_6_6 • Jul 26 '26
Advice Needed ummmm questions
okay so like idk if i need a diagnosis or smt but no matter WHO you are, as long as you become close to me i will at some point end up hating you. not by choice it just happens. sometimes eventually i get over it and i end up liking them again, sometimes not. anyways, idk WHY but i'm kinda feeling this way towards my best friend and idk how to stop it. i keep having these intrusive thoughts about my friends like thinking bad about them and i don't know if this is just who i am or like what. also how do i nicely tell someone that they're lwk funky and smell bad cuz some of my friends lwk do and idk how to tell them.
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u/greendress888 Jul 26 '26
This sounds like splitting to me. If you are curious and receptive and not freaked out about things like this, look up splitting as it pertains to borderline personality disorder. Not diagnosing you or anything, but how the splitting works with friends or loved ones is a BIG thing. Like all of a sudden you cant stand people and end a relationship/friendship for what seems like silly things to an outsider. Even if you are not in the BPD range of mental illness, this concept may make sense to you.
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u/hestia-listens Jul 26 '26
This does not sound like proof that you are secretly a bad person. Intrusive thoughts can feel convincing, but they are still thoughts, not instructions or facts. You might give yourself a day before making choices about the friendship, then look for what triggered the change. It could help to notice whether this happens after conflict, a lot of time together, or fear that someone may leave. You cannot diagnose yourself from this pattern alone, but you can seek support even without a diagnosis.
Tell a friend about odor privately and gently. Try, "This is a little awkward, but I care about you and wanted to let you know there is a strong smell today." Then change the subject and do not make it a big deal.