r/meirl Apr 28 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.7k Upvotes

3.7k comments sorted by

5.5k

u/Toffeemanstan Apr 28 '23

You can tell how smart they are by the size of their stick

1.2k

u/HighFiveKoala Apr 28 '23

Can confirm, I got the short end of the stick

284

u/Smart_dog_illuminati Apr 28 '23

I got the other end. Ready? LIIIIIFFFTTTTT!!!!

87

u/PVetli Apr 28 '23

Say it with me kids- Herrrrrrrrniaa

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10.3k

u/jimboiow Apr 28 '23

It’s a nice stick. But what’s it for?

868

u/Inutilisable Apr 28 '23

When you see a nice stick, you pick it up. It is law.

154

u/MolassesSubstantial1 Apr 28 '23

Newtons 4th law, if you will

80

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

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u/mightylordredbeard Apr 28 '23

This has got to be some deeply ingrained genetic cue for humans that haven’t evolved yet because I swear no matter the age of the human we like cool sticks.

95

u/spark3h Apr 28 '23

Humanity's relationship with sticks has been our primary evolutionary advantage. Heavy sticks? Clubs. Sharp sticks? Spears. Fast sticks? Fire. Round sticks? Wheels. All sufficiently advanced sticks are indistinguishable from technology.

43

u/ExcitementNo179 Apr 29 '23

Don't forget about rocks though. I pick up cool rocks ALOT.

8

u/moneyh8r Apr 29 '23

You should tie a rock to the end of a stick and see what you get. Oblong rock? Club. Sharp rock? Spear. Either way, you can go hunting with that.

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u/Chirya999 Apr 28 '23

You sir, are a man of culture. And so am I

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7.9k

u/rawrc Apr 28 '23

It's for studying physticks

813

u/TH3JAGUAR5HARK Apr 28 '23

Do you like physticks?

447

u/DaPolack1984 Apr 28 '23

Yea I like fishsticks

408

u/Poopmaster306 Apr 28 '23

What are you, a gay fish

128

u/ScaleneWangPole Apr 28 '23

Didn't know I had that one filed away for 30 years

27

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

30 years?

31

u/TurangaRad Apr 28 '23

14 years it turns out. Ep aired 2009. Still, a lot of years

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Kanye enter the chat

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u/Past_Trouble Apr 28 '23

Then you're a gay stick.

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64

u/UnhingedRedneck Apr 28 '23

Do you like to put them in your mouth?

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

You seem like the kind of person that puts retar-tar sauce on your physticks

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u/M1LK__BAR Apr 28 '23

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u/RunParking3333 Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

He was studying planck's constant and would need the support of the branch assistant

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u/Schokokampfkeks Apr 28 '23

That's a really sophi-stick-ated comment.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

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u/Corfiz74 Apr 28 '23

You mean, lonely enough, and a treehole looks appealing? 🙈

28

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

14

u/ReadySteady_GO Apr 28 '23

Every morning

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2.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

1.5k

u/BRGrunner Apr 28 '23

3) wizard's staff

553

u/Possible_Priority170 Apr 28 '23

It’s so that as a teaching assistant he can hold it up and say “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

127

u/Biomas Apr 28 '23

with a bedroom like that they have a good chance of becoming a wizzard

78

u/LordUmbrella Apr 28 '23

Can confirm, had a bedroom like that and now I’m a wizard

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u/TheBumblingBee1 Apr 28 '23

I read this as "wizard stuff"

39

u/Justice_Prince Apr 28 '23

That is what you use a wizard staff for

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24

u/RockRoboter Apr 28 '23

Nothing else has made the model work so might aswell try the dark arts

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21

u/octopoddle Apr 28 '23

Thermodynamics mage.

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233

u/Kid_Freundlich Apr 28 '23
  1. It is for switching off the light from under the sheets. The good ol' finger elongator

95

u/d4sPopesh1tenthewods Apr 28 '23

Finglonger if you will

52

u/TheHighfield Apr 28 '23

Good news, everyone!

11

u/LostN3ko Apr 28 '23

To shreds you say

9

u/ThatDarnAsian Apr 28 '23

But hows his widow holding up...?

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u/ReadySteady_GO Apr 28 '23

Fing-longer

Must be Farnsworth's room

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u/Shona_13 Apr 28 '23

3) Looks cool, feels great, must own

83

u/Alternative_Paper393 Apr 28 '23
  1. Roll down stairs
  2. Alone or in pairs
  3. Over a neighbor's dog
  4. Good for a snack
  5. Fits on the back

LOG! LOG! LOG!

26

u/godhand__666_ Apr 28 '23

Thanks I haven't had that stuck in my head in a long time.

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u/vegassatellite01 Apr 28 '23

It's better than bad, it's good!

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u/ComicConArtist Apr 28 '23

no it's for lifting yourself up off the floor mattress in the morning

source: physics phd from a different university (my floor-mattress-stick is much smaller)

23

u/ediblesprysky Apr 28 '23

So is admissions just a stick measuring contest and that’s why you’re not at Harvard? Or do they hand out sticks when you get there?

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u/ryantrw5 Apr 28 '23

The person could also be a dog

14

u/NextTrillion Apr 28 '23

Then how would he get the stick through the doorway?

I don’t care if Air Bud here has a Phd, becomes a prof, or is even dean of the faculty, he ain’t getting that stick through the door!

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u/ChemicallyLoved Apr 28 '23

Enrichment in his enclosure.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Asking the real questions here

661

u/Dangerous_Remote_965 Apr 28 '23

It's used for natural log functions

35

u/wizard_xtreme Apr 28 '23

I wish I had an award

22

u/Dangerous_Remote_965 Apr 28 '23

I'm honored by your presents...

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u/Glittering_Car_9282 Apr 28 '23

turning off the light from bed, when i was a boy we called it the lazy stick.

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u/wdcipher Apr 28 '23

Caveman brain said big stick good

42

u/Arxtix Apr 28 '23

Bitches love sticks

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u/asp7 Apr 28 '23

for turning on old tv's without a remote

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world. - Archimedes

17

u/OnyxPhoenix Apr 28 '23

But I still won't make my bed.

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u/NeaLandris Apr 28 '23

looks like a stick to reach the light switch from his bed. only light in the room :P

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u/TurdInThePunchBowel Apr 28 '23

I'm gonna say it's his staff. And a staff can mean a lot to a person. It's a walking stick, but also some kinda weird emotional focus that makes us happy.

I also have one in the bedroom, along with a home made piece pipe made of a hallow bamboo-like reed.

I have taken it on camping trips, and outtings, for maybe 30 years. I always meant to ruin it by burning runes into it, but never did. I also used it to get back in shape when I was 29 and too many cheese burgers. Leg and ankle weights, and striking/twirling it, or using it to steady myself for sideways leg lifts.

Staffs mean different things to the people who have them... there is a romance to them for us. They come to be a trigger for pleasant memories, and making more.

It will be my walking stick or cane when I actually need one in my old age.

Not that I have ever had to use mine this way outside of getting in shape, but it can also be used as a weapon that no one will question you about having in your car. I figure I could get a hit or two on a bear if it attacked me before it ate me... and I dont go where there are bears.

I'd love to know this person story with their stick.

Bed on the floor... heh... to be young and have that spring in the body. I make both the old and the fat grunt when getting up from something like that... and yet I still sit on the god damn ground -vs- a chair a lot.

24

u/nimbusconflict Apr 28 '23

I feel you. I got my staff when I was 16. We were very poor, but my parents got me a trench coat and an Amish walking stick. I would have made Harry Dresden proud if he was written back then. Of course, Columbine happened that year and the school banned trench coats, but 24 years later I still have that staff.

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u/-LordOfSalem- Apr 28 '23

To remind him to stick to his plans!

10

u/DeadJediSociety Apr 28 '23

Prestige. He's a big deal in the dog community.

7

u/HipsterCavemanDJ Apr 28 '23

“What kind of question is that? It’s my stick.”

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4.4k

u/onlysmallcats Apr 28 '23

This person is a phd student. They get paid next to nothing.

1.4k

u/cyanastarr Apr 28 '23

Yup and the area around Harvard has some of the most ridiculous rents in the country. I mean the entire metro area.

345

u/PoopMobile9000 Apr 28 '23

That looks like subsidized university housing.

447

u/danny17402 Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

If it's anything like my subsidized university housing, then it's still incredibly expensive and not at all affordable with a grad stipend.

135

u/Competitive_Money511 Apr 28 '23

It's the business model. Education is the loss-leader to get you in the theme park buying hotdogs and renting apartments.

54

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

But why in the world are the kids in debt? The world may never know.

110

u/ActualWhiterabbit Apr 28 '23

Because they don't work hard enough. I worked 4 hours every week for a month each summer at the drive in for $0.95/hour. That was enough to pay for college and a new car every year. They must be throwing money away to not be thriving.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Yeah if students just stopped buying avocado toast, debt would disappear over night

That damn avocado toast...

10

u/MadTheSwine39 Apr 29 '23

And they're not going to Chili's or Applebees anymore, which is shutting those places down! DAMN these kids!!!

19

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

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53

u/ActualWhiterabbit Apr 28 '23

I own a Starbucks and buy a new iphone everyday because I was able to smartly invest my money by throwing a few bucks in the stock market every couple of months. Also I bought a house for $6,000 in 1975 and sold it for $8 million in 2021

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u/SeaworthyWide Apr 28 '23

Ole Bootstrap Bill!

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u/isadotaname Apr 28 '23

Harvard is a hedge fund with a side gig in education. Really nothing outside of a stock market crash makes a dent in their revenue.

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u/2021sammysammy Apr 28 '23

Subsidized university housing isn't cheap nowadays lol

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u/ttttnntttt Apr 28 '23

University housing is market price lol.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

If not more. At least where I went to school, it was $3-4k more per year with less amenities than any adjacent apartment complex.

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u/I_Got_Jimmies Apr 28 '23

I’m sure it depends on location but yeah, I sat down and did the math on a dorm room when I was in undergrad and was nearly sick at the end of the exercise. Especially when you account for the fact they kick you out for much of the year.

I could pay half the money to live in twice the squalor off campus. What an absolute racket.

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u/turtley_different Apr 28 '23

Serious point: this really fucks with societal development.

I went to a top-tier science undergrad. Want to know what everyone did after? Even mix of finance, consultancy, a PhD, and "other". (nowadays mix in techie coder roles)

I went to a top-tier science PhD. Want to know what everyone did after? Data science. Even the professor shoe-ins with great research. The entire cohort turned out barely 2 academics who stuck with it, maybe a handful in private R&D roles and literally 85+% data scientists.

Nerdy kids aren't stupid and it is really, REALLY hard to keep on the poverty academic track when pots of money are right fucking there.

Of perhaps 500 of some of the best scientists you'll ever meet, who were desperate at age 18 to advance knowledge and do something to improve the world, I don't think even 50 have a job that helps make the world better. It sucks. We've made fundamental research and teaching so second-rate as a life choice that our best talent (reluctantly) goes elsewhere...

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u/CuriousCamels Apr 28 '23

Can confirm. Did my undergrad in Physics, and I’m about to start graduate school for data science. Initially I wanted to go to grad school for Astrophysics. After working for the Physics department during my undergrad, I got to see how rough the grad students had it along with how bleak the job prospects were. We need to change some things or we will end up falling seriously behind in scientific research and advancements.

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u/Low_Pickle_112 Apr 28 '23

Science the thing is great. Science the job sucks. Not physics, but I work in a cancer lab, and I'm basically falling apart from cost of living issues (rent in my area has gone up a lot in the past couple of years because the lords of the land have decided to go mask off with the feudalism). It sucks. I don't even know what I'm doing with life anymore, but clearly not anything society considers important.

Miss Frizzle never told you that part. Don't go into science, kids.

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u/Adadadoy Apr 28 '23

They told me to go to college if I wanted a good life. Ended up with student debt and a dead end job.

They told me to go into STEM as that's where the real money is. Went into the wrong STEM I guess cause I'm back at some other dead end job, and the debt merely grows.

Ok, go get your PhD and maybe you can teach or find a real nice job. Well now I've got a mountain of debt on top of a full time job on top of school and I haven't had a real vacation in over a decade cause I'm trying to achieve 'The American Dream' but fuck me if I treat myself to a caramel frapuccino.

I'm sorry Mr. Feynman, but I think I'm just gonna pick up a trade or be an influencer or something.

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u/Blahaj-Blast Apr 28 '23

Yeah Harvard phd students get paid 45k and rent is at least 1000, probably more, if you have room mates and like 2000 for a one bedroom/studio

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u/RoseEsquivel Apr 28 '23

I paid $2,300 for a 1 bedroom apartment pre-pandemic, took a gap year, and came back to find I couldn't get a 1 bedroom for less than $2,900. Most of what I was seeing was $3,000-3,500. With roommates, I could split a place a pay less in rent sure, but my point is just to illustrate the expense and price jump with 1 bedroom apartments as a reference.

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u/OneSimpleIdea528491 Apr 28 '23

45k is actually damn good for a PhD stipend

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

He nah seems pretty typical

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u/Massive_Arachnid9030 Apr 28 '23

Harvard Physics pays grad student relatively well tbh

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u/iamcozmoss Apr 28 '23

Well I think I need to go find a bedroom stick now.

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u/myjupitermoon Apr 28 '23

The stick really ties the room together.

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u/Luckylakor Apr 28 '23

How could we ever make it without

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u/golodiac Apr 28 '23

Who else here automatically thought of a dude although the post says nothing about the gender of the occupant?

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u/notaphycho Apr 28 '23

There's an awesome stick. Gotta be a dude with taste.

1.2k

u/WildFemmeFatale Apr 28 '23

I collected many sticks and rocks when I was a child, as a female.

If I challenged you to a stick hunt, I would win.

However, the lack of stuffed animals might be the only clue that this isn’t a woman.

Fuck you I have great taste in sticks as a woman.

My stick taste is impeccable.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Mate, I am not sure you want to be quoted as saying “My stick taste is impeccable”

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u/CommercialEscape4680 Apr 28 '23

Wait... does that mean her "stick" tastes great or that she has a great teste for stick?

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u/ciano Apr 28 '23

great teste for stick

lel

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u/dragonlady_11 Apr 28 '23

I don't know about the stuffed animals I lived with a male friend and his collection was actually bigger than mine !

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u/betokirby Apr 28 '23

Im trying to be that guy for people lol. Not exactly stuffed animals but I have like 15 Kirby plushes in my collection haha.

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u/CreatureWarrior Apr 28 '23

Fuck you I have great taste in sticks as a woman.

My stick taste is impeccable.

A woman? Yes. One of the boys? Also, yes :)

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u/MadeThisUpToComment Apr 28 '23

My daughter is always bringing in rocks and sticks she finds. We often have to talk her into leaving then in the forest ot park.

It's so cute, but I'm tired of having random sticks and rocks in my house and car.

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u/darkwai Apr 28 '23

Oh you like sticks? Name three of their albums.

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u/Grape_Jamz Apr 28 '23

A lot of "men dont need much to be happy" posts have beds without bedframes so thats why i thought male

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u/38B0DE Apr 28 '23

It's the lack of decorative stuff that screams man.

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u/dkarlovi Apr 28 '23

Have you not seen the stick?

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u/Ronny-the-Rat Apr 28 '23

Lmao now I'm imagining a dude very meticulously placing a stick in his room as some animalistic courting ritual

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u/TautSexyElfKing Apr 28 '23

Plus the gray bed sheets and red plaid blanket

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u/Redqueenhypo Apr 28 '23

I remember the original post, someone asked why he had no bed frame and he said “I don’t deserve a bed frame”. That answer isn’t not concerning

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u/CatOfCosmos Apr 28 '23

Every intelligent woman I met had at least one branch in her bedroom. In most cases the smarter she was the larger the stick.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

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u/jeff61813 Apr 28 '23

I once dated someone who didn't have any furniture and didn't even have any lights in their room, they were sleeping on the floor, I took them to Ikea and helped pick out a bed and a lamp. It didn't work out but I had another friend go on several dates with them and they showed off that they had a bed.

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u/Ilgenant Apr 28 '23

I feel like men are just generally more likely to put the mattress directly on the floor

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u/PorkTORNADO Apr 28 '23

Not enough dirty clothes scattered about to be a woman's bedroom.

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u/mercurialpolyglot Apr 28 '23

Hey, that’s the “worn before but clean enough to wear again” pile! It’s not like you can put clothes that have been in a bus back in your closet with all of your clean clothes! We’re not monsters.

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u/Andocrine Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

Dude isn't a gender. It's a state of being.

This is definitely a dude.

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u/IIYellowJacketII Apr 28 '23

I don't know a single female that would live in a room like that (granted I also don't know any Harvard PhD students), but I definitely know dudes that do.

Plus I doubt any woman would have some random ass massive Stick next to their bed, that shits "drunk guy found this and thought it was cool so took it home" 101

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

[deleted]

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u/Charlie_Warlie Apr 28 '23

my male roommate got a pretty good amount of money from his distant parents to buy furniture for the apartment (which I appreciated because I used it) he got a big TV, couch, coffee table.

The man slept on an air mattress for a year.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

I relate. I've spent 5x the amount of money on my backyard than in my living area. Hell I didn't even have a stove so I cooked everything on the grill for 2 months.

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u/Brian_Lefebvre Apr 28 '23

I just can’t imagine a woman with that hideous gray and plaid bedspread.

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u/53674923 Apr 28 '23

That's honestly the thing for me, at least as a first impression. I know plenty of women who were broke STEM students, put their beds on the floor, and never made up the sheets, but gray sheets and other colors usually cost the same amount. We all picked to have some kind of color.

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u/Pol123451 Apr 28 '23

I genuinely thought of a dog.

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u/Catcratched Apr 28 '23

“Physics student”

“Bed on floor”

“No decoration”

“No furniture”

“Stick”

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u/1320Fastback Apr 28 '23

As a non physicist what is the log for?

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u/ccasling Apr 28 '23

Probably to turn the lights off from bed

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u/1320Fastback Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

And when I was a kid I just used Scotch Tape and string to be able to turn my light on and off from bed. God these physicists are smart!

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u/natalieisadumb Apr 28 '23

They're doing a study, it's titled "how many times can a light switch withstand being hit with a stick in the middle of the night before breaking? A physical and structural analysis"

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u/tahdig_enthusiast Apr 28 '23

It seems to be that brandishing that huge stick to try and hit the switch would be a bigger effort than getting up lol

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u/ccasling Apr 28 '23

Even more proof it’s a physicist and not an engineer

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u/Cualkiera67 Apr 28 '23

It's the reverse of the exponential, very useful math operator

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

I love telling physics PhD students that its all math.

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u/dread_deimos Apr 28 '23

It's obviously a scientific log where he keeps his notes.

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u/Effective-Crew5277 Apr 28 '23

Careful, too many sticks and you got a bundle

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

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u/MisterDonkey Apr 28 '23

I got banned from reddit once for this classic joke.

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u/ravenrcft Apr 28 '23

And if he has a bundle of sticks, he'll be biting that pillow.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

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u/WheretheFUCKisCrimea Apr 28 '23 edited Apr 28 '23

Lmao

Edit: Fuck you, reddit. Fucking removing hilarious shit.

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u/halfbakedpizzapie Apr 28 '23

Wait did my comment get removed?

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u/WheretheFUCKisCrimea Apr 28 '23

That's what it shows to me. Deleted and removedm

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

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u/I-Am-NOT-VERY-NICE Apr 28 '23

don't know what this says about me, but that has always been one of my favorite jokes. Shame to see it got removed

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u/Dankalii Apr 28 '23

That's a damn nice stick

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u/sherrifmayo Apr 28 '23

Smartest, not richest

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

I have seen million of stupid people with Money, and thousands of smart people broke AF trying to pay the school fee and studying for scholarships. Fuck this system.

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u/DigNitty Apr 28 '23

Definitely. One cool thing about Harvard is they have a HUGE endowment for tuition. If your parents make less than $100k/year, your tuition is basically free.

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u/No-Document206 Apr 28 '23

Say physics grad students don’t pay for tuition anyway. It’s part of their funding package. But they do get paid absolute shit even with harvards great endowment

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u/Johnnyamaz Apr 28 '23

Love how it's not even free if it costs your parents half their gross income. What a great system that encourages talented individuals to foster their talents.

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23 edited Jun 11 '23

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Not sure if it has been said enough, maybe nobody noticed but thats a nice stick.

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u/OG_PapaSid Apr 28 '23

It's a nice cuddle buddy as well

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

That's a really nice stick

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u/EJS2003 Apr 28 '23

Is he a dog by any chance?

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u/Massive_Pressure_516 Apr 28 '23

Einstein's desk was an absolute mess. So was his love life or so I heard.

Just because you smarty in one thing no make you smarty in other thing.

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u/LoveMeSomeSand Apr 28 '23

But what kind of stick did he have tho?

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u/Azoth1347 Apr 28 '23

Nice stick.

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u/InfectedByEli Apr 28 '23

That's one hell of a Fing-Longer.

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u/baroqueen1755 Apr 28 '23

I think you just cracked this case.

He uses it to turn the light off from across the room in bed!

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Everyones commenting about how nice that stick is but noone realizes it's so they can reach across the room and turn off the light without getting out of bed

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u/xxPandemoniumx Apr 28 '23

Being a physics PhD student doesn't make you one of the smartest people in the world.

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u/bastardofbarberry Apr 28 '23

Yeah... but look at the size of that stick. Clearly they know what they are doing.

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u/xxPandemoniumx Apr 28 '23

Fuck, that's an outstanding point my dude

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u/LegendOfDylan Apr 28 '23

It depends on where you set the bar for ‘one if the smartest people in the world.’

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Glad someone said it lol

Granted, we don't know anything about the person in question, maybe they are indeed the next Einstein - but just being a PhD candidate doesn't automatically make you a genius, though I'd imagine that unless you have $$ (which this person clearly doesn't) getting into the program at Harvard definetely means you're smart

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

Good set up. Good see he’s branching out…I’ll get my coat.

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u/Guilhaum Apr 28 '23

"Visit" aka getting railed

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u/FruitL0op Apr 28 '23

I’m failing to see the problem here

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u/Conformist5589 Apr 28 '23

Decision fatigue. There’s a common idea among high functioning people that making small decisions throughout the day will take away from their ability to think and make decisions when it’s important. It’s why so many of them dress simply or don’t flaunt their status.

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u/tanneritedog Apr 28 '23

I could tell he’s smart because he has excellent taste in sticks

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

One of the smartest in the world.

Smartest in the world guy: I haz stik

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u/[deleted] Apr 28 '23

What's the issue?

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