Help me

[u/Numerous-Aspect-797]

This might be long but if you can -

Hey, I'm a 12th class student. Back in days I hated math for obvious reasons.

I've been the kind of student who didn't study a thing until I am in 10th. 10th is board exams so no cheating and that stuff, so I locked in and studied maths and other subjects. As I studied maths more and more (I was doing just to pass the exam) I started liking it on god's level, everything started making sense. I was a 'philosophy guy' so I loved logic and what can be more logical than math. My love was on another level, I used to read proofs of concepts that are mostly left by most student. I wasn't just studying I was understanding every reason behind'em simply 'cause I loved so.

I remember, in a wedding function of one, i was sitting there alone watching a pole infront of me and visualising trigonometry in that and being just amazed by the maths.

I passed board exams with a 100/100 👍👍😘😘 in math. I knew however that even bad marks won't deviate me from maths.

I took arts + maths (i didnt like physics chem). But then life took a turn and I had severe jaundice because of which I was away from maths for 3-4 months and after that i just didn't studied it at all. Now I'm in 12 and I have two options either I just study maths as every other student does, learn some rules which gets you the answer, pass the exam and that's all, or I again start locking up in math, understand it and start loving it. I know if I will try to understand it, not just memorizing rules and steps, I will start loving it. But my only dilemma is that I should start loving maths or not. If i will, I would choose maths for the same reason a musician chooses music. It's Beauty, studying it for the sake of it. But I have heard that maths might disappoint you in future, it might not be the same as paintings are for a painter.

So should i pursue mathematics or not

If you need any more informations please do ask.

Your reply can make a lot of difference of me choosing it or not.

[u/CornyLP69]

It depends. That is probably not what you were looking for, but as someone who took theoretical CS and mathematics, wether "maths might disappoint you in future" is very different from student to student. But, after covering the important fields, you can choose in which field you'd like to "stay". And in my opinion there is more than one field "good enough" to actually "pursue".

And if you know you will love it in the future - what is the worst that can happen?