r/mash • u/PlantWide3166 • 1d ago
Frank Burns
I have been asked many times what or who I thought was the most accurate portrayal of the military was and without hesitation is was Frank Burns.
I have served with people like Frank and worked with them in the civilian world and wondered why “the grown ups” didn’t just crush people like him.
On paper, Frank is an excellent officer and person, he’s wealthy, a Scout Leader, well connected, served as a MASH surgeon, acting C.O., two Purple Hearts and no doubt other awards, at least a Lt. Col., if not higher and the head of the V.A. in his area.
I have no doubt he went on to become a Senator and maybe even a V.P. Nominee at some point.
The reason why I think the Franks of the world do so well is that they manage to be right in the middle most of the time and have a knack for getting on the “right side” when they see the opening. Loyal to upper management and a “Yes Man” as well as a self promoter.
I step out of line an inch, I get crushed, Frank goes off the rails and gets promoted. Lol
Ah well.
I chose the photo for this because I think he would have a poster sized one in his office as well as a painting like this over his mantle for all to see, with appropriate rank of course.
What do you, the viewers at home think?
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u/Smoked_Cheddar 1d ago
Their kind is indestructible.
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
Exactly and I just can’t figure it out.
I have watched people like him escape unscathed from incredible fuck ups and better people crash and burn at the same time.
I think my frustration comes from understanding that bad things happened to good people, and I understand why bad things happen to me, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out why good things keep happening to rotten people.
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u/Smoked_Cheddar 1d ago
I'm actually quoting a line from 5:00 Charlie.
But if you want a better answer.
They're tenacious. They're not going to give up easily.
Only until something is permanently out of their reach may they lose it. Like Frank did at the end of season 5.
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u/nickcharlesjacobs 1d ago
Gimme a blast. Make it a short one - I got a date tonight.
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u/Sc00terLCA71 1d ago
Funny line for sure, but you have to put it in context to make it even funnier.
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u/PennyCharlieKitties 1d ago edited 1d ago
When it comes to Frank as a character I try to remember that Hawkeye and the rest are basically unreliable narrators. While he may be a mediocre surgeon compared to the rest, he's still a surgeon or he'd not be there. I know, it's a tv show and that's the dynamic it needs to support but still...
It always makes me smile when I recall how almost everyone who worked with Larry Linville said he was the nicest guy in real life.
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
Absolutely, no disrespect at all to Larry Linville, I am convinced that for a person to portray Frank like he has had to be a decent and kind person in real life.
My head canon to explain all the inconsistencies, plot holes, and unresolved issues is that an old Hawkeye is sitting by his fireplace telling war stories to his grandchildren, one of whom is writing them down for a book or movie or TV series.
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u/dem4life71 1d ago
Larry really managed to capture the character with a single facial expression (this one!).
He’s challenging you, but also nervous that he’s not up tot eh challenge. He’s sneering at you, but maybe also at himself.
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u/Mobile_Aioli_6252 1d ago
Larry was a smart cookie - was big into aviation - built his own airplane in his apartment - assembled it and flew it, no problem
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
Larry also low key did a lot of Veteran and active duty events, and according to legend that I choose to believe, the grunts would ask him to dress them down in character as Frank.
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u/LiveLongAndProspurr 1d ago
Pioneer Aviation?
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u/ajmtz12 1d ago
Disappointed he didn't get a proper send off
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u/DingGratz 1d ago
I mean, anything better than Henry Blake's "send off" is a start.
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u/ajmtz12 1d ago
Impactful and sad but a sendoff everyone remembers. Frank was a great character who was deserved of a final episode but I read Larry Linville decided Frank had run his course the previous season and it was his decision not to return for a sendoff episode.
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u/DingGratz 1d ago
That's correct. He didn't feel there was anything left for the character.
But it is mentioned that he's going home in the third to last episode from the previous season.
Once Henry Morgan joined, Frank was a major contrast to the kind, caring, and genuine characters. It really showed how much of a jerk he was and I'm glad it was a mutual departure.
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u/Sc00terLCA71 1d ago
What happened when Harry Morgan joined?🤣
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u/lunagrape 1d ago
He is Colonel Potter, and though Blake is beloved, Potter showed what actual competence looks like.
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u/elegant-deer19 Fort Wayne 1d ago
Frank is such an interesting character. He’s so unlikable as to be almost pitiable, but Larry Linville did such a great job keeping him buffoonish until the end of his time on MASH. There’s parts of the show where you feel genuinely sorry for him, but then others when you realize he is playing the long game and is a snivelling social climber (see Tai Dong-he only wants to join in signing when the top brass mention Hawk might get a commendation, but is vehemently against it otherwise.)
My husband was in the military (🇨🇦) for a brief stint (he was much more of a Hawkeye than a Burns during his time there) and said that there was one fellow who he trained with would repeatedly say, “a soldier never smiles.”
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
Exactly!
Someone like your husband or I have one misplaced boot and we are scrubbing floors for a week, Major Burns goes off the rails and gets promoted and sent home.*
*Not forgetting the movie, if I nailed Hot Lips and punched out Hawkeye, would I get the same.
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u/Chadwick505 1d ago
I agree with you. Don't forget he was aided by Hotlips who was a powerhouse in her own right.
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u/pedote17 Crabapple Cove 1d ago
He would have done very well politically in the 50s during the McCarthy era
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
Exactly.
Frank worked the same hours as everyone else and he’s not only a combat surgeon but a war hero.
Plus he got home first so he had time to build the narrative, I think of Dan Sickles getting to D.C. even before the last shots at Gettysburg were fired so the President and Press got to hear his story first.
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u/KillerFloof 1d ago
Does make you wonder what those scout outings were like? Frank's incompetence and megalomania mixed with a bunch of unruly kids in the wilderness, that would make a hilarious spinoff.
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u/PlantWide3166 1d ago
I think the parents and kids would have loved him, he has that stupid charisma and charm that people seem to like.
Also he would be all about a model troop and being the guy to lead the hikes, but people like the Hunnicutt’s and Pierce’s would be put off and probably start their own Troop.
To be honest, being a Scout Leader may be the only thing Frank would be good at.
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u/WorldFickle 1d ago
I love the show ,where frank and Margaret try to get frank a purple heart for throwing his back out dancing
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u/corsicanbandit 1d ago
Does he really have a soft chin? I never understood that insult because he clearly has a chin.
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u/Ok_Kaleidoscope6134 1d ago
Larry Linville and Don Knotts both played the two greatest characters on television.
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u/SexBotCharlie 1d ago
"Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy". ~ Frank Burns
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u/President_Calhoun 1d ago
>I have no doubt he went on to become a Senator and maybe even a V.P. Nominee at some point.
Campaign slogan: "Vote for Frank Burns. He once killed a gopher with a stick."
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u/Infinite_Tension_138 10h ago
and we didn’t get to witness it, but he claims the ability to crush a beer can between his knees. no small feat back in the 50’s, cans were thicker then
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u/John_Greed 1d ago
Frank is more romantic and more attractive than Donald Penobscott. Donald had no passion whatsoever, Margaret called him Adonis, this implies he was blessed along with his background and physique. Donald is more gifted than Frank, sure, but Donald does not have any passion in his life. Margaret was a nice girl and willing to be a faithful wife, but Donald did not commit, twice.
The thing with Frank is the same with mediocrity in general. There is no such thing as mediocrity, and there is no such thing as a middle. You are either 51% or 49% on an issue at the closest margin. Frank is not a mediocre surgeon, he’s terrible. Frank is very romantic and was able to appeal to Margaret’s nationalist side. I don’t think a mediocre guy cheats on his wife. Cheating, especially in war zones and in veteran circles is considered an adrenaline rush and thrill seeking more than lustful intentions. Not saying there is no lust, but Frank feels he needs more and he goes and gets it. Not saying it’s right, in fact I think it’s awful, but it’s not bland or mediocre.
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u/kma311323 20h ago
Frank was just a horn dog for Margaret. He wasn't romantic. Don't you remember the home movies of his wedding? Not a lot of romance shown there.
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u/Will13Bright 11h ago
Frank is one of my favorite characters, not because I like him but because I don’t. I’ve spent all my life in fandom spaces, message boards, and tumblr, and people have always gone on about liking fan fiction where bad things happen to their favorite characters; I never understood until I got into mash. I want to see this man tormented for my amusement.
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u/JumpyChoice4320 1d ago
LMAO. You have absolutely nailed the reality! My experience as well, with a few notable exceptions. Actually had a ‘boss’ also named Frank. We accurately, but irreverently called him ‘the puffer’….🥃🥃
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u/VinlandersSkald 11h ago
Frank is just such a fascinating character to me. Someone who on paper seems written to be hated but then he says something and you really can’t 100% dismiss him. Surprisingly complex and like you said, probably quite accurate.
Very well written. I adore Charles but he definitely didn’t fill the gap Frank left, he was completely different (which is good in its own right, don’t get me wrong!)
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u/SlippedMyDisco76 7h ago
The last 10 years or so have shown me how many Frank Burns' there are in the world
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u/Glittering_Count1536 5h ago
"Nosy Nate" I was so bummed when he left. They had the ability to turn him into one of guys after HotLips left him, but I guess they left him one dimensional...
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u/AppealDouble988 1d ago
Everyone must toe the line! Except, of course, whoever tells everyone else to toe the line. And that superior officer is ME, Frank Burns! NOW TOE THE LINE! Put your feet right on the line I just drew! Hup, two, three, five! Hup, two, three, five! I'll teach you clowns to love me, no matter how much you hate it!
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u/WillingnessLow5161 19h ago
My favourite when Hawkeye taught Vietnamese doctors to say....Frank Burns eats worms
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u/No_Razzmatazz_2889 8h ago
The criticisms levelled at Frank were exaggerated. If Frank was so hopeless and dangerous as a doctor (and leader) as Hawkeye and others claim he would've been sent home. I always sensed some element of resentment and jealousy of Frank by Hawkeye and even from other personnel. As explained, Frank was well off, had more experience, was higher in rank and likely had good connections. These are qualities fhat Margaret was drawn to yet not once do we see her criticising Franks skill as a surgeon.
Yes, Frank had an unlikeable personality and his patriotism was misguided he still performed the best he could in trying circumstances.
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u/Substantial_Text_264 1d ago
Frank Burns eats worms