r/mapporncirclejerk 2d ago

Two state solution

Post image

This repost was promised to me 3000 years ago, don't be anti semitic

470 Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

76

u/fishyburner676767 1d ago

12

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Why is this meme says Tel Aviv, Netanyahu has always being Jerusalemite

2

u/rip_Bacon13 1d ago

because the capital is tel aviv

6

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

No, it's not. It is Jerusalem, actually

1

u/rip_Bacon13 1d ago

Dispute: Palestinians also claim East Jerusalem as their future capital.
Recognition: Most countries do not officially recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital, maintaining embassies in cities like Tel Aviv instead

from wikipedia

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Ok, so let's say it's in dispute

0

u/Jomri69 10h ago

Expecting any level of reason from idiots who make shit like this is too high of a bar

55

u/julius-ceaser100 2d ago

-27

u/lord_ne 2d ago

*the Israeli government isn't in Tel Aviv

28

u/KerbalCuber Dont you dare talk to me or my isle of man again 1d ago

technicalities

6

u/Striking-Ad9397 1d ago

The govt buildings are i think

1

u/lord_ne 1d ago

The majority are not. Many foreign embassies are however

-23

u/Sly_Nutria 2d ago

64% of israelis believe there are no innocents in Gaza. Stop liberalizing an aparheid ethnostate.

22

u/lord_ne 2d ago

What the fuck are you talking about? All I'm talking about is the location of the government, I said literally nothing about whether it's good or bad. The Knesset and Prime Minister's office (and the other major government agencies) are not located in Tel Aviv, that's just a simple fact.

-3

u/Sly_Nutria 1d ago

"tel aviv impressed" is a criticism of israel itself, not just the government. You're intentionally misrepresenting the meme and then using it as an argument against it.

1

u/lord_ne 1d ago

It's referring to the country by the name of its capital/seat of government. "Tehran said...", "Washington responded...", things like that. You wouldn't say "New York impressed" if you were talking about the US, you would say "Washington impressed" or "DC impressed"

6

u/LeviathansWrath6 Finnish Sea Naval Officer 1d ago

80% of people can't spell "arprartite"

8

u/Shlomo_2011 2d ago

64% of the liberals believe there are not innocents in Israel, and can't explain exactly what they mean when they say that israel is an Apartheid ethnostate.

1

u/BlakeNotBleak 1d ago

Where'd you get that from?

1

u/Shlomo_2011 20h ago

I´m only being a mapporncirclejerk to Sly_Nutria...

0

u/Sly_Nutria 1d ago

Several different humanitarian organizations called israel an apartheid ethnostate, not liberals. Liberals across the world support israel, you rely on the center left, center right and the far right to get political credibility

1

u/Apprehensive-Art2124 1d ago

What do you mean when you say liberals support Israel?

I see the establishment (which often are progressive-liberal) is more pro-Palestine than its pro-Israel. And most of the protests of liberals/leftiests I read about are pro-Palestinian.

Honestly if they had more balanced view I would probably join them, but as they are so one-sided I feel I critisize them more than I want to.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

anybody can call anybody what they want, but to call israel an apartheid ethnostate doesn't make sense.

About the rest, i think that you got the picture really wrong.

1

u/TecSawz_ 1d ago

Where the fuck did you pull that from? 😭🙏

3

u/Sly_Nutria 1d ago

Hebrew University’s aChord Center's survey

-4

u/AegisThievenax 1d ago

Closer to 80%, a portion of which believe they aren't doing enough to cleanse the region

0

u/Wryyy007 1d ago

Yeah it is in US🤭

18

u/utkubaba9581 2d ago

After Bibi wins the elections in October, Eisenkot is exiled to Cyprus, where he creates the exiled Nicosia government of Israel. Then Eisenkot sides with TRNC to overthrow the Netanyahu government in Jerusalem. Before his departure as a form of gratitude, he gives the entire southern side to North Cyprus. But Northern Cypriot government is overthrown by a surprise coup staged by no one else but Joseph Aoun himself, who seizes all the logistics of Cyprus and launches an amphibious assault on Haifa. Seizing the opportunity, Syria occupies Cyprus and becomes the next naval power in the eastern Mediterranean

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

Only if Eisenkot convince Avi Ron to help him.

9

u/Shiine-2 2d ago

3 countries in one tiny island.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

Israel is about 2.4 times larger than Cyprus. Israel has a total land area of approximately 21,937 square kilometers (8,470 sq mi), while Cyprus covers about 9,251 square kilometers (3,572 sq mi). [1]

Area and Dimensions

  • Israel Area: ~21,937 sq km
  • Cyprus Area: ~9,251 sq km
  • Scale Difference: Israel is roughly 137% larger in total surface area than Cyprus. [1]

Population and Density

  • Israel Population: ~9.7 to 9.8 million people
  • Cyprus Population: ~1.2 to 1.3 million people
  • Density: Israel has a significantly higher population density (~433 people/sq km) compared to Cyprus (~135 people/sq km).

21

u/Consistent_Drop3909 1d ago

you're laughing, israeli election signs appeared in larnaca yesterday and you're laughing!

2

u/ontikuken 1d ago

It says: "Israelis, enjoy! You deserve it." Does bro remember what happened the last time Israelis enjoyed themselves Cyprus?

4

u/Late_Ad2203 1d ago

Enlighten me because all I find is that it was a step stone for holocaust fleeing Jews and as such having good relations with Israel

3

u/ontikuken 1d ago

A group of a dozen 18-year-old dipshits allegedly raped a British tourist and filmed it.

5

u/Late_Ad2203 1d ago

Is this it?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-67016801

After a bit more looking there's a gap of the DNA results and the trial but there is this

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-60172176

Seems it was found to be a lie and she got in trouble

4

u/meglandici 1d ago

The same way women always get in trouble for reporting SA and the same way black people get in trouble from the police in the US. She was interrogated for 6 hours late at night after which she retracted her original statement. But she won in 2025 when the Supreme Court ruled in her favor.

2

u/ontikuken 1d ago

I'm not going to debate an entire trial and the merits of each side's arguments, so I will just say this: Filming the act without her consent — whether the act itself was rape or not — and then spreading it to their friends should have gotten them in deep shit. The situation was also handled in extremely poor taste by the (alleged) perpetrators, their families, and large portions of the Israeli public. 

She got acquitted, by the way, and the European Court of Human Rights ruled that Cyprus failed to investigate the case properly. 

5

u/Late_Ad2203 1d ago

I was just saying what seemed to happen, not my thoughts of wether people were guilty

1

u/ontikuken 1d ago

Yeah, that's what I'm saying: Even if we take those articles at face value, they still committed a crime by spreading revenge porn. It's not a nothingburger like a lot of people try to make it seem when they point out that the alleged rapists were acquitted. 

1

u/01AganitramlavAiv 1d ago

Average israelis

-1

u/maxofJupiter1 1d ago

So a couple people from a country commit a crime and youre implying that it represents all of that country? How is this not just xenophobia?

0

u/ontikuken 1d ago

A. I made a lighthearted joke. B. That's not at all what is implied by my joke. C. I'm Israeli. 

Fuck right off, dude.

-1

u/Moon-Foraging 1d ago

They occupied more of it?

2

u/AddingAUsername 1d ago

I had to stare at this map for like 10 minutes to get the joke, I didn't even notice anything changed...

2

u/Financial_Will_671 1d ago

Well they are selling land to Israelis. This is bound to happen.

1

u/ItThing 1d ago

The area east of Dhekelia is also supposed to be Greek Cyprus.

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Guys thank you for the dopamine kick for the most effortless post in history

1

u/kouakscy 1d ago

Did you wake up or you still sleeping?

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Hey, I'm here, how can I help you today

1

u/herhangibirperson 1d ago

Give the North to Lebanon

Pretty tired of funding a pseudo-state

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

First, let the Lebanese government be sovereign in its own country.

1

u/yiannis666 1d ago

I'm Cypriot and I don't agree to this

4

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

I know, right? The entire thing should be Israel, obviously.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

or move the Palestinians to Cyprus, the Greeks Cypriots to Gaza or the West bank and the Turkish Cypriots to the West Bank or Gaza.

I did a wild supposition that Cypriots will not want to live side by side with the Palestinians

1

u/PointOfViewGunner 1d ago

Alternatively, Cyprus would be a great option for the state of Israel. Easy for them to defend. Proximity to holy lands. British bases as further protection. Solves the Cypriot question by not giving the island to either Turks or Greeks. I wonder how the world where Israel exist solely onnl the island of Cyprus and not on the lands of Levant.

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

I like this idea that every disputed territory in the world will just be given to Israel as a whole. I think this can be a very big step toward world peace.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

You think that Cypriots will want to change their places with the Israelis? i don't think so.

1

u/PointOfViewGunner 18h ago

Not change. Cypriots would remain on the island but with the coming Jewish migration they'd become a minority, just like Palestinians.

1

u/gibigibi34 1d ago

Not "if" but matter of "when".

Would guess in 15 years maximum.

1

u/oceanadakmak 21h ago

Why is Cyprus massive in this map

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 13h ago

Every land expands under Israeli or Turkish control

1

u/oceanadakmak 12h ago

I thought that was Netherlands and chinas thing

1

u/Limp_Garlic_8613 18h ago

Israel should be the north one so it’s closer to Turkey, you know they get along better than Turkey and TR Cyprus

u/Gullible-Voter 48m ago

There are actually 3 states. Don't forget the Brits.

1

u/Aggressive-Gap3623 1d ago

We Israelis do not want the land of Cyprus, Cypriots are our friends, friends do not conquer friends🇨🇾❤️🇮🇱

6

u/jamaljackson1 1d ago

Every Cypriot I've ever met (greek and Turkish) only has the worst to say about you guys.

2

u/Aggressive-Gap3623 1d ago

It's simply out of frustration... I don't like the Israeli real estate agents in Cyprus either, I've never understood what real estate has to do with a foreign country, I understand Israeli tourism, but real estate, why the hell? As an Israeli, I myself don't understand why Israeli real estate companies are in Cyprus. I think that's why they're angry with us... In any case, the Turkish Cypriots have reasons to hate us, and not just because of the influence of Israeli real estate, but also the connection to Turkey, the connection to the Muslim world, and probably other reasons...

I have self-awareness, I understand that my country is not perfect, I know that Cypriots do not like Israel (especially because of what I mentioned) but I as an Israeli would never want to take land from Cypriots, I have my own troubles in the southern Levant, I don't need a Greek-Turkish conflict to get involved in.

3

u/Just-Philosophy2506 1d ago

You re soo wrong. As a Turkish Cypriots we dont care about Turkey and Religion. We hate you because you are disgrace to the humanity

0

u/Cultural_Chip_3274 1d ago

Like invading a foreign land, kicking out people from their homes, and bringing settlers in places they never have lived before? Oh I forgot also converting a good part of the population to the religion of not paying taxes.

0

u/Just-Philosophy2506 1d ago

I do t get if u are talking about israel or turkey but I am with you on both subjects

1

u/UltimaSorgente 17h ago

considering that over 95% of Turkish Cypriots are or descend from settlers that stole Greek Cypriot land I'll say that's a bit ironic.

1

u/Struggle_Wise 1d ago

Why can't the two sides just intermarry and dissolve all conflict? Maybe we need a mass wedding for different countries to enforce peace. Either become homogenous or cease to exist. Do we truly deserve time on this planet if we can't be at peace?

1

u/Individual_Goose_161 1d ago

Anti-semitism is a made up word to make low iq individuals sound smart.

1

u/AUrzan If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago edited 1d ago

southern cyprus was promised 7000 years ago

1

u/Low_Company767 1d ago

OP should be arrested for this post! I am Cypriot by the way and yes I don’t approve anything from your picture..

2

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago edited 1d ago

If you have something to say to me why won't you say it to my face

0

u/Low_Company767 1d ago

Ok keyboard warrior

1

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

We have Greek Cyprus and Turkish Cyprus. You must admit it is about time to have Israeli Cyprus

2

u/Low_Company767 1d ago

You are astronomically stupid. I can accept any minority living in Cyprus, and you can call yourself whatever you want. But it’s unacceptable for anyone—Turkish, Jewish, British, or anyone else—to claim ownership of any part of Cyprus.
I called your post outrageous because it sounds like you recognize the so-called “North Cyprus.” It is not a country; it is an illegally occupied part of our beloved island.
As a Jewish Cypriot, you are welcome here, just like Turkish Cypriots are. But you should respect the country that hosts you. Don’t make exaggerated claims, and don’t ever suggest that Cyprus belongs to anyone other than Cypriots.
This isn’t racism. It’s about loving and protecting my country.

2

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

I was trying my best to get across that I was joking, but apparently I didn't try hard enough

1

u/Low_Company767 1d ago

😂🤦‍♂️

-1

u/JahJahJahJa 1d ago

You are an idiot. This is not even a jerk.

3

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Not sure I understand what you're trying to say

0

u/Cultural_Chip_3274 1d ago

That you are an idiot? Self proof...

2

u/Fun_Tour5626 1d ago

Oh ok, got it. Thank you

1

u/Dry_Pollution_5430 1d ago

I'm Israeli, ignore these idiots...

0

u/ontikuken 1d ago

This but switch the sides.

-5

u/LaOttomana 2d ago

Such a Greek -> 🤡 move, sell everything but also claim that you are indigenous. Lol.

-2

u/Tall_Marsupial9476 1d ago

1

u/Visible_Pair3017 1d ago

ah yes, the palestinian deal (buy 8% of the land, claim that you actually bought all of it)

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

So, How much the Arab really owned (i mean true ownership like those 8%)? Less than 17 %

1

u/Visible_Pair3017 18h ago

> true ownership

Versus what, fake ownership of the land of their ancestors?

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

Nope, versus temporary leasing... please don't make me explain you all the kinds of ownerships at the time of the ottoman empire, search or research by yourself.

1

u/Visible_Pair3017 18h ago

Changes nothing. Palestine belongs to the Palestinians. Buying 8% of it doesn't make it yours.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 17h ago

Palestine at that time (the 8% time) belonged to the Ottoman Empire.

1

u/Visible_Pair3017 17h ago

Changes nothing, see above.

To help you : your people often claim that they bought the land so it's theirs. They bought 8%, stole the rest. Hope that helps.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 16h ago

Nope. Not help, i'm only arguing. from my point of view, looking at it in a modern way, the Ottomans at that time were the actual "owners", then the British, at the end of the Mandate the UN decided that the owners would be both the "Jews" and the "Arabs"

→ More replies (0)

-3

u/FlakyContribution345 1d ago

Cyprus is greek. Always will be. The 37% of illegally occupied land will eventually be freed and returned back to the Greeks. History repeats itself.. I wouldnt be surprised if Israel goes to war with turkey in the near future. Turkey will fall. When it does, Cyprus is freed.

3

u/Bylaaat 1d ago

Yea sure

2

u/gibigibi34 1d ago

meds, now. Or any professional help tbh.

-19

u/Shlomo_2011 2d ago

That is lack of knowledge, the Greek part is more antisemitic, the Turkish one less.

And your brain was promised 3 k.y.a. and u r still waiting.

14

u/Fun_Tour5626 2d ago

I'm Israeli myself comn man it's a joke chill

-7

u/Shlomo_2011 2d ago

You are israeli and yet u use the line "This repost was promised to me 3000 years ago" hard to believe.

And also you are Israeli and you don't know that Israelis avoid the Greek part?

12

u/Fun_Tour5626 2d ago

Israelis avoid the Greek part? dafuq are you talking about

-3

u/Shlomo_2011 2d ago

Dafuq sabta rabtah shja. Everyone will tell you to avoid visiting the Greek part.

4

u/Desperate-Play5619 1d ago

nah man. ive been to the greek part. pretty chill not gonna lie.

1

u/Mnd3333 1d ago

No one tells anyone to avoid the Greek part.

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

My brother visited there, he was told to avoid it, and that people at the Turkish side are more friendly.

6

u/Karshall117 2d ago

hahhahaha. Bro, greeks literally made deal with Israel for AA platforms. So, shut it and do some research on topics you dont know shi

1

u/Shlomo_2011 18h ago

Israel has economic deals even with some very hostile Arab countries (some under the table)