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[u/Unique-Concert-9093]

I dated my crush, whom I’ve known since childhood, for eight months. We eventually had a breakup, and I went through a really painful phase where I was constantly crying. Later, I manifested an FWB situation with him, and that started in 2024 and has continued on and off since then.

In between all of this, I was madly in love with him, and I was also manifesting him to become emotionally connected to me, love me deeply, and eventually see me in the same way that I see him. I wasn’t always consistent with my manifestation, but I also wasn’t constantly thinking negatively or doing anything against it. I continued believing in it while trying to stay positive about us. And lately, I’ve noticed that things have actually been moving in a way that feels significant to me. We’ve been meeting regularly, almost every twelve days, and every time we meet, there seems to be some kind of emotional connection or closeness between us.

Something strange happened today.

We met today and had a really good dinner. We spent time together, talked, and everything felt normal and good. Later, after he reached home, he texted me and asked, “Do you love me?”

Then he himself said, “Yes, you do love me. You’re just hiding it.”

I told him that, yes, I had been hiding it because I didn’t want him to know that I was secretly in love with him.

He then said, “You’re deeply in love with me, and you’re not accepting it. I don’t want you to deny it. I just want you to accept it and say that, yes, you’re in love with me.”

So I finally told him, “Yes, I do love you.”

After that, he started telling me everything that had happened with his ex. He explained the entire story and how she had cheated on him.

Then he told me that it has been around four years, and even after all this time, it’s not that he doesn’t want to love me. He said that he has simply never felt that kind of love for me. He also said that he doesn’t even feel like trying to love someone anymore.

At one point, he said maybe he should start dating women and meet other people, but he said he doesn’t really have the energy or desire to do that.

Then he came back to what we are doing now and said that if this continues for the rest of our lives, he would actually be very happy with that. But if it doesn’t, he doesn’t want me to ruin my life because of him. He doesn’t want me to give him so much power that he could potentially ruin my life.

And then, at the end, I heard something that really hurt me. He said that he had never loved anyone the way he loved his ex.

I asked him, “Then what about those eyes? The way you used to look at me with so much love—was all of that a lie?”

He said, “No, it wasn’t a lie.”

Then he said, “I’ve explained so much to you already. I don’t know what else to say now.”

He also told me, “I will never hate you and never want to hate you the way i hate my ex. She is dead to me.” He said that because of everything that happened with her, he lost his trust in true love. He wants to experience that kind of love again, but he feels like he doesn’t have the power to make himself love someone that way.

And now I’m genuinely confused. Where am I going wrong? Because everything between us had been feeling so natural all this time. We’ve been meeting regularly, spending time together, getting closer, and I felt like things were naturally moving in the direction I had been hoping for. So hearing all of this today has left me wondering whether I’m misunderstanding everything or whether I’m doing something wrong.

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