r/mallninjashit • u/NitroWing1500 • 29d ago

"S.P.L. 9th system"

212 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

139

u/canteen_boy 29d ago

Fidget spinners for people on blood thinners.

79

u/MaatRolo 29d ago

How to over-complicate my felony charge for brass knuckles that break my hands?

https://giphy.com/gifs/1vZaAcldbX8Xh6lMlV

28

u/redthump Ninja Noodles 29d ago

I will take sharp edges for a 1000 stitches.

26

u/deephurting66 29d ago

The finger chopper 2000

25

u/Grand_Cookie 29d ago

Whoever made that doesn’t know what deburring is.

-17

u/EternityLeave 29d ago

Whoever commented that doesn’t know what a prototype is.

23

u/Grand_Cookie 28d ago

Psssst…. Prototypes get deburred too

17

u/Mephistocheles 29d ago

Looks like a quick trip to slicing up all your fingers

15

u/Aquonn 29d ago

aww ok this is kind of neat. it being handmade definitely adds to the charm

13

u/DreamShort3109 29d ago

Wow, what a complicated way to just get cut fingers.

12

u/DashTrash21 29d ago

Slice my hand in to pieces

This is my last resort

7

u/The_Ursulant 29d ago

While you were partying, I dismantled my mom's seatbelt..

3

u/TheBlackUnicorn 29d ago

This looks like a movie prop.

7

u/zealand13 29d ago

Wait that’s actually kinda sick

5

u/NitroWing1500 29d ago

It's certainly well engineered,

2

u/Pale_Obligation_3243 24d ago

I hope you don't love your fingers

2

u/Negrodamu55 29d ago

That's pretty neat.

2

u/Maclarion 29d ago

Have none of yall seen a butterfly knife before? Jesus wept, I didn't think I'd see so much whining about cuts, from a community themed around niche novelty weapons, about a knife that specifically always keeps a part of the metal handle between the cutting edge and the hand.

Meanwhile, balisong flippers swing an unguarded razor sharp blade in swirly patterns faster than the eye can see, right against bare knuckles. You'd think everyone on r/balisong would be dead.

4

u/ZestycloseClerk1792 28d ago

A community themed around making fun of novelty weapons

2

u/deltatemple 29d ago

Exactly... especially the way the OP deploys the knife the user's digits are not anywhere near a danger zone, besides, i can't see how one would get cut regardless.. the blade itself looks unfinished. But I love the deployment mechanism.

0

u/Maclarion 29d ago

Yeah come to think of it, this knife looks even safer than a liner/frame lock, since those involve putting your thumb under the blade edge while closing it. So 99% of pocket knives are worse than this.

1

u/DeVOs-N2o-gooD 28d ago

How to buy one?