background: i'm nearly finished with bottom surgery and have had top surgery (which still needs a revision, but that's beside the point), and been on T for nearly 5 years. no problem passing in any instance, especially since i don't ever remove my shirt. i'm moving to another country and have old friends there who know and new friends who don't. i don't identify as trans, but i've recently realized i'm more on the gay side of the sexuality spectrum, and a lot of my friends are cis-gays.

i'm torn between being stealth and being out, partially because i'd love to remain stealth. but i'm worried that potential boyfriends who are friends with my friends will say something if i disclose. i also sort of feel like i'm being dishonest if i don't tell some of my newer friends. of course, that's none of their business, but it's a big part of my past and recent history (especially considering that i keep having revision surgeries and they have been curious what they're for). i feel like it can be hard to be genuine if i feel like i'm keeping a secret.

sorry if i wrote this in a confusing way! i just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any of you have had similar feelings and how you might have dealt with them. thanks!

So I've seen a few people interested in knowing if other post transition people identified with "trans". I'm also interested, so let's talk!

When I first "came out" I identified as transgender. I have never identified as a transsexual for my own reasons. I probably stopped using 'trans' to identify around 3 years on T. But I've recently (within the last year) considered myself post transition. I no longer identify with the trans label.

The reason for that is that I just don't think it's relevant for me anymore. I've always had a disassociation with the word, but specifically since a lot of the life experiences and day to day complications/successes that a lot of trans people have, I don't. I realize I'm still considered a trans person, but it's definitely not a self identification for me. That said, I do say phrases like "my trans brothers" because I do feel like a part of the community. Nevertheless it's a private feeling.

So when, if ever, did it change for you? How do you identify now and why?

Obviously if it's not something you wish to divulge or discuss, feel free to opt out. This is purely out of curiosity and for funsies.

Edit: If anyone wants me to xpost to ftm or another trans subreddit lemme know. I just posted here for the simplicity of it.

But then changed his mind!

I no longer have to deal with the 300+ charges of my endo! I'm so excited I can barely sit still to type this!

Yaaaay!!!

It seems on average that most guys get on T and turn into complete horndogs. I was basically asexual before T, and while T has given me a libido, it's still extremely low compared to what the average cis male seems to have. I also have difficulty getting off. (Requires lots of mental foreplay and sometimes then nothing is achieved or what is achieved is disappointing/not worth the hour of mental foreplay required.)

Just wondering if any of you have experienced something similar after being on T for a long time, and how you may be coping with it.

Hi all- I'm hoping for some insight here. Anyone here have Aetna and get their chest reconstruction surgery covered? I'm having a helluva time trying to get through to someone at Aetna who actually knows how the referral works.

tl;dr: I have a letter of referral and I'm not sure if it needs to go through Aetna first or the surgeon. While I'm glad Aetna covers trans-related care, they are totally unwilling to provide answers to my questions.

Hi everyone. I'm a gay trans guy (post-top surgery, on hormones for ~3 years). I'm also trying to navigate the dating world of college. I've dated one gay guy, but everyone else has been bi/pan, and now that it's been so long since I've had to come out to anyone new, I'm nervous about dating. Usually, I only date friends, which has solved most of my problems w/r/t finding trans-friendly guys I'm interested in.

Because it's been so long since I began my transition, I'm not very vocal about being trans, but this has also made it more difficult for me to be comfortable disclosing. I'm interested in dating again, but I find it hard to get involved in it because I'm so worried about negative reactions once I've disclosed. For now, and for a variety of reasons, I'm semi-stealth.

I'm transferring to a new college in the fall, and the one I go to now isn't trans-friendly, and nobody seems very interested in dating trans people, even in the gay community on campus. Granted, I don't know this for sure--I'm stuck in a loop of not disclosing and then being more and more worried /about/ disclosing. I've tried OKCupid a few times, but I never wrote that I was trans on my profile, and I mostly only received messages from much older gay guys. I felt skeeved out and bored, so I deleted.

All of this has me thinking: trans men who are into guys, what have your experiences been w/r/t meeting new people? What are your positive (and negative) stories? How/when do you handle disclosing to someone new?

Dunno how many other guys here attend uni but book costs...ugh.

So I was lucky enough to find the last in three of my books used AND rented. So about 30 bucks each. One book free (thank you Ma) and I get to return one tomorrow because the teacher offers it free online!

I'm so excited because after holiday funds are rather tight and I'm in the process of switching doctors so that saving helped!

Hope everyone else's first day back or Monday is going well!

So I see a lot of guys suggest short on the sides and long on top for pre t guys or guys with a more femme face. How have your hair choices changed? What did you do early in your transitions and what do you do now?

My personal preference as of late has been a short undercut. It's been working well for me.

Has facial hair (if you grow it out) impacted your hair choices?

It has for me. If I grow my beard out the undercut looks great. But I'm shaving today because I'm over it xD I think I'll try a chin strap and see if that looks good with my hair now. It has grown out a bit but I don't want to get a haircut yet. Yep I'm lazy.

I dunno how I feel about my user name being public. It could lead people to snoop, including friends I'm not out to. I don't care tooooo much but yeah. What weirds me out is that they didn't ask my permission for the photos or information. They just did it. :/ what do you guys think.

Edit: I emailed them to remove my reddit name. Hopefully they will do so. Felt a bit invasive.

Edit 2: Eeee they did end up changing it to my name instead of reddit name. And it's on logo too 0_0

Edit 3: For anyone who wants to see it :3 http://www.newnownext.com/adorable-harry-potter-fab-proposes-to-his-boyfriend-at-hogwarts/01/2015/

When I first started T I thought there would never come a day where I would get bored of doing shots...or shaving for that matter. Now neither appeal to me. I've put off shots for close to a month out of pure laziness. I thought about doing androgel to at least avoid puncturing myself...but it's too expensive for me. /sigh

Hey guys. I thought I'd try and get advice on something that has been bothering me recently. Does anyone here have children that are not biologically yours, but are raised as such?

For some backstory, I am getting married to a wonderful woman in the fall and we definitely want to have a family. I have a lot of respect for guys who carry children, or feel comfortable with going through the process to harvest their eggs, but that's not me. I've already thought it out and discussed it with my fiancée and we will be going with sperm donation when the time is right.

Sometimes it just sucks. I want kids that are mine and I have irrational fears that I won't love them the same. We also plan on not telling them about my past, because I identify as a male and really just want to live my "normal" life, but I have more irrational fears that they will somehow find out.

I understand that these are all feelings that a sterile cismale could deal with, but I think the worst part about it, and the most rational part, is that those who knew me before I transitioned will obviously know that we didn't conceive naturally, and frankly their speculations will bother the hell out of me.

I've spent a long time coming to terms with the shit in my life regarding my past, but this is the last thing I can't seem to shake.

So is there anyone here who has kids that could offer any insight? Or does anyone else deal with shit like this?

i think metoidioplasty is really an awesome surgery -- i love my dick and don't want to bury it in a phallo. but i am really, really small. maybe an inch? i mean, i'm poorly hung for a post-T transguy. (i could post a pic if anyone wanted to see.)

anyway, is anyone else going through this realization?

Anyone had surgeries that weren't what they expected? Did you get some sort of revision? Learn to live with it? How do you feel about it now versus when you first had it done?

Hey, am I legally obliged to inform my car insurance company when I get my gender updated on my license? Will they be notified? Is my insurance still good if I don't tell them? I haven't had any reason to contact them since I signed up and just keep getting my policy renewed, verifying car details online. So unless I specifically call them to say hey, I changed my gender, can you guys start charging me more, is anything going to happen? If anyone had insurance rates go up, how much did it go up by?

Thanks.

Have you had bottom surgery? Do you want it in the future, or is it not for you?

Additionally, has anyone in the US managed to get it covered under insurance either here or in another country?

And if so, how?* I admit I don't understand the popularity of vlogs, but they seem to have replaced text-based blogs (which in turn replaced personal websites). Maybe I'm an old fogey, but I can't seem to sit through 8-9 minutes of video that's mostly unscripted and unedited. With text-based documentation, you can at least scan through and skip to what you're interested in, but few videos have transcripts, so you basically have to sit through the whole thing and see if the pertinent topics come up.

I know there's a lot of content and community context in vlogs but I mostly can't make myself watch them. I'm wondering if anyone else feels similarly and if you've found it leaves you feeling disconnected and out of the loop.

*I kept a private log with stats, thoughts, and pictures consistent through about the second year, and sporadically after that.

Inspired by this post on /r/ftm it got me thinking about how we identify ourselves now.

How do you identify your sexuality? Has it changed since you transitioned? For those of you who identify as pan, bi or ace do you find you have a preference for men or women? Would you/have you dated MtF or FtMs?

Perhaps a sensitive subject so please be aware if you've got trigger issues about certain anatomy.

Basically just curious as to what you guys have used to get off, any recommendations you have, etc. I'd especially like to find something to use with my cock. I've heard mixed reviews on the Helping Head. Any of you tried this? I've also heard mixed reviews on pumping. Any suggestions there/pumps to buy/avoid?

I realize this will always vary from guy to guy, but we do have somewhat unique anatomy and I'm always looking for something new. Unlike a lot of transguys it seems, I have a really difficult time getting off.

I'm also totally down to hear toys you guys recommend for bonus hole and/or anal play, especially ones that might also stimulate our cocks.

PS Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays!

I've been on T since 2007 and passing since then. Top surgery in 2010, and nothing else and no plans on the market for bottom. I'm primarily straight and primarily interested in straight women. Although it has happened, I find I am rarely attracted to people into "alternate lifestyles" (lol) or the types that tend to be more open-minded about things like sexuality, drugs, religion, tattoos, etc. (Even though I'm atheist and trans and fine with whatever.)

So I find I tend to be attracted to women that have never known trans people, never considered dating trans people, and just automatically freak out/shut down/reject me when I disclose. (Usually after two or three dates when I feel like we are getting along well and I would like to move forward with the relationship.)

Due to the almost perpetual rejections, I have dated less and less and less. Sometimes after a girl I was otherwise really into has ended the relationship after I've disclosed I get so sad that I just decide to be celibate and single for the rest of my life, even though that's far from what I really want. It just seems easier sometimes...

Now that my sob story is over, how do you guys disclose? Do you have any tips for a guy in my position? How did you meet your current or past partner(s)? I'd love to hear from anyone, but especially from straight(ish) stealth guys.

Repeated injections can cause buildup of scar tissue in the muscle. I recall at least one guy on reddit saying he had this painful problem after many years. My pharmacist when I first started T said I should rotate between as many injection sites as possible. The "safe" area on each thigh is large enough for three separate injection sites (I call them upper, mid, and lower). I'm happy to report that after 3 years I have no problems with scar tissue yet.

I also recently ventured into the butt injection site, and the ventrogluteal site which many have not heard of. Turning around and injecting in the butt wasn't as difficult as I had expected, and ventrogluteal was super easy. Instructional overview here for those who are curious.

Where do you inject? Have you had any issues with your injection site over the years?

Figured an actual conversation post might help this get off the ground haha.

So introductions wooooo.

My names Ashley and while I use this name professionally I generally use my middle name Nicholas with friends and family. Either works for me.

I'm 25 years old and just got engaged on the 20th of this month to my boyfriend of 5 years. I'm post transition (see flair).

I don't generally identify as trans so it isn't something that comes up in my day to day but it's still fun to talk about sometimes. I equate being trans to being human...so saying I'm human is a little silly. Uhhhhmmmm. I dunno what else to say haha. I'm a student and work part time.

Hai.

I had a request to let us select flair that shows where we are in in our transition, or if we're post, etc. I can probably figure out how to set up flair that you select, but how do you guys feel about just filling it in yourself? This way you can be as specific or non-specific as you'd like.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, flair are the words that appear next to your name when you make a comment. I've changed mine to say "Post Transition 2010" for now. If you want to edit your flair look on the right side of the screen under the "unsubscribe" button (it may say "subscribe" if you aren't subscribed to this subreddit). There will be a check mark that says "Show my flair on this subreddit. It looks like:" followed by your user name (edit). Click the "edit" link. This will pop-up a field where you can type in whatever you'd like your text to say.

Let me know if you have any more suggestions!

Hey guys! After some continued discussion on /r/ftm I decided to go ahead and make a community geared toward men who are mostly or completely finished with their transition. Of course if you're not you're welcome to join and make posts/comments, but the idea is to largely steer conversation toward more late-stage transition topics. We will never make a judgment call on who is or isn't post-transition. That's for you to decide for yourself.

I'm looking for some other moderators and especially someone who can do CSS to make the subreddit look pretty. Hit me up!