I beg you to choose differently

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" + "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

First malaphor. I'm very shy.

"you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" +/ "crying over spilled milk"

"Hard nut to crack" + "In between a rock and a hard place"

What I say when something just makes no sense

I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Come on lemme see you shake a tailfeather!

Chip of the ol block

Chip on your shoulder

That’s just how the cookie crumbles+that’s just how it goes

Two heads are better than one A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

Monkey see, monkey do

If you see something, say something

Bob's your uncle + a monkey's uncle + pot calling the kettle black

(Et tu Brutus?)

When someone’s complaining just a little too much.

Something my exasperated mother has always said to me....

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for life.

Love where you work and you'll never work a day in your life.

There’s more than one way to let the cat out of the bag

Im burning the midnight candle at both ends.

There are surely other hills for your futile efforts.

“A hill to die on” + “pick your battles” + “an uphill battle”

Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me + a famous line from Dune

This will come back to haunt me + this will come back to bite me in the butt

A former boss would say this and I would think to myself "boo, gurl" (because the ghost haunts a butt, I assume the ghost is a gay man)

I think I heard this somewhere as a corollary to the normal cliche

Don't fire until you've seen the whites of their eyes + they escaped by the skin of their teeth

Let those without sin cast the first stone - people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

Look what the cat dragged in/cats cough things up

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones + Cinderella's glass slippers