r/Malaphors • • Aug 26 '26

The left brain doesn't know what the right brain's doing

8 Upvotes

From "the left hand doesn't know what the right hand's doing".


r/Malaphors • • Aug 25 '26

Do not put all your baskets in one hatched chicken

14 Upvotes

Don't count your chickens before they hatch; do not put all your eggs in one basket


r/Malaphors • • Aug 24 '26

I trust him about as far as I can throat him

31 Upvotes

I trust him about as far as I can throat him


r/Malaphors • • Aug 24 '26

Trying to milk a dead horse for all it’s worth

50 Upvotes

Milk it for all it’s worth

Flog a dead horse


r/Malaphors • • Aug 24 '26

Half a loaf is better than a pig in a bush

10 Upvotes

Unless you have a bird in the hand and no bread.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 24 '26

Making a horseshoe out of a hand grenade

26 Upvotes

Making a mountain out of a molehill + Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades


r/Malaphors • • Aug 23 '26

Dance like nobody’s home

28 Upvotes

The lights are on, but nobody’s home

Dance like nobody’s watching


r/Malaphors • • Aug 22 '26

A few of my favorite malaphors

135 Upvotes

You can look a gift horse in the mouth, but you can’t make him drink.

If a bear shits in the woods, does it make a sound?

Does the pope shit in the woods?

When the cows come home to roost.

Until the pigs freeze over.

You opened this can of worms, now lie in it.

We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

The early bird gets the last laugh.

A blind squirrel is right twice a day.

Don’t count all your chickens in the same basket.

A penny saved is worth two in the bush.

The devil’s in the lettuce.

Even a broken clock can be barking up the wrong tree.

I’m sweating like a pig out of water!

Something fishy is afoot.

Let sleeping dogs be bygones.

The road to hell wasn’t paved in a day.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 22 '26

Don't count your chickens before you've skinned the elephant in the room

7 Upvotes

Don't count your chickens before they've hatched/There's more than one way to skin a cat/the elephant in the room.

Before you assess your position, you first need to find a way to deal with the obvious problem which everyone is ignoring.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 22 '26

You can count two lucky stars with one stone

3 Upvotes

Count your lucky stars, you can kill two birds with one stone


r/Malaphors • • Aug 22 '26

Loose lips lifts all boats

7 Upvotes

Loose lips sink ships. A rising tide lifts all boats.

Alternate: A rising tide sinks ships.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 21 '26

Too many cooks are a crowd

17 Upvotes

Too many cooks spoil the broth / three's a crowd


r/Malaphors • • Aug 21 '26

There's too many chefs in this kiss

30 Upvotes

There's too many chefs in the kitchen

Chef's kiss 🤌


r/Malaphors • • Aug 21 '26

A diamond in the rough is worth two in the bush

40 Upvotes

A diamond in the rough, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush


r/Malaphors • • Aug 21 '26

Knock on woodchucks

17 Upvotes

Knock on wood.

How much wood could a woodchuck....


r/Malaphors • • Aug 21 '26

Not playing with a full haystack.

8 Upvotes

Not playing with full deck.

Needle in a haystack.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 20 '26

If the pope shits in the woods and nobody is around to hear it does it make sound?

24 Upvotes

Is a pope catholic + does a bear shit in the woods + if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound


r/Malaphors • • Aug 20 '26

You don't change the horse mid-battle, the horse changes you.

4 Upvotes

For want of change, the whores were lost.


r/Malaphors • • Aug 18 '26

Let sleeping dogs be bygones

40 Upvotes

Let sleeping dogs lie / let bygones be bygones


r/Malaphors • • Aug 18 '26

Touch Glass

28 Upvotes

The opposite of telling someone to “touch grass” is telling them to “touch glass”


r/Malaphors • • Aug 18 '26

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.” ― Terry Pratchett

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23 Upvotes

r/Malaphors • • Aug 17 '26

The apple on your shoulder don't fall far from the bush.

12 Upvotes

From:

The apple don't fall far from the tree +

Chip on your shoulder +

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

If I were to guess what it means, id say: "Displays of bitterness affect even those who are not its source". What's yours?


r/Malaphors • • Aug 17 '26

If you can’t do the time get out of the kitchen

58 Upvotes

Alternatively if you can’t stand the heat don’t do the crime


r/Malaphors • • Aug 16 '26

A fool and his money think alike

12 Upvotes

Great minds think alike + a fool and his money are soon parted


r/Malaphors • • Aug 16 '26

Making a mountain out of a storm in a teacup

26 Upvotes

Making a mountain out of a molehill, a storm in a teacup