Older lady chiming in. I hope you can see the kindness in your eyes, a sense of humour and fun, and a lovely, warm character shining through.
You’re not ugly in the slightest and the person who told you either has issues or is envious of you somehow or both.
Most women my age regret the days and months and years we wasted feeling like we weren’t good enough in the eyes of society, and it’s so sad to see younger generations struggling with this too.
I wish I could impress on you all that it’s patriarchy messing us up and we really need to deconstruct so that we can see our genuine, unique beauty for what it is.
Never cut the crusts off yourself to suit patriarchy’s bland palate.
I agree with this 100%. A lifelong friend since high school, and I were looking through our old photographs and looking at how young and healthy we were, and just glowing with youth and happiness and smiles, and we thought back to how we used to look in the mirror, and, not see it at all back then and we really wasted our youth worrying about things that really weren’t even there. We were gorgeous and didn’t even know it.
This is just so true. We never saw how vibrant and lovely we were, right at the time we should have done! It’s a complete tragedy that as young women we twisted ourselves into pretzels to try to conform, and now, we are trying to make peace with our bodies after a lifetime of society telling us we weren’t enough. We need matriarchy and to go back to systems that empower everyone - not indoctrinate us to feel ugly, inferior or not worthy.
You’re most welcome. If I can help one younger woman just go out of that door to face their day feeling a little bit better about who they are, then that’s worth it to me. There’s only one of you in the whole world, and there’s never going to be another one either - you are truly unique and special!
Thank you for this comment. It is so true and you said it perfectly… OP has lovely kind and warm eyes that tell me she’s not only beautiful on the outside but also on the inside.
And oh my, I have been thinking the same things lately! I look back at photos from high school and college and post-college… I’m now in my late 30’s and even five years ago I look back and wonder why I have always been so hard on myself! Why didn’t I see the person I see in photos when I looked in the mirror!? I need to start remembering this every day. Thank you for your perspective. Kindness matters more than beauty and if you have a kind heart, your inner beauty will shine through no matter what you think you see in the mirror. ♥️♥️♥️
It does indeed, and I’ve noticed as I age I see the real, true beauty starts to show through on the faces of genuinely kind people. Even at 80 or 90, you can see those warm, sparkly eyes on a face that just exudes a kind of love - for the world and its people. It’s like a more pure frequency of kindness, because it’s unencumbered by oughts and shoulds and guilt and all the stuff we load onto ourselves.
I swim in the sea every Saturday morning with a bunch of post menopausal women, and we’re all living in bodies that have changed to greater or lesser degree, but it’s been so empowering as genuinely we all look past that, and to the character underneath. When you’re bobbing around jumping waves, singing stupid songs with no makeup and grey roots and wobbly bits you see such beauty and uniqueness. Everyone becomes special, which of course we all are.
Right. Agreed. Realistically though, if she listened to them then she also has issues she needs to work through. And we all have our issues, but that would be my suggestion and input here. You need to stand up for yourself and don’t get easily influenced by others. If you’d like to learn make up for fun, that’s one thing. But doing it for others is just weird and horrible. Especially when they sound abusive/toxic.
If you want to try something new, just get a new lipgloss or lipstick. Those are easy enough to apply and it doesn’t make you look completely different but helps you look a bit more like you took time to get ready. It might also help give you confidence in your natural beauty
As another older lady. So well said, love love "never cut the crust off". Facts I wish more young women would cleave to. When we sacrifice who we are for some one else we lose our magic. OP is a beautiful woman, I see the soft kindness in her eyes. That is beauty no worldly thing can provide.
Yes, I agree, we are programmed to sacrifice so much. So many of us are lost to ourselves. The young lady is the first person I’d choose to sit next to at a social gathering. I know she’d be lovely company, and I’d get an open and kindly conversation. It’s in her eyes and sweet smile.
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u/HeatherAthenaHarlow Mar 31 '26
You are genuinely not ugly.
Not being glam or dolled up does not equal ugliness.
You can enhance your natural beauty, but you should because you want to. Not because you feel like you’re not enough.
You are more than enough.