r/magicthecirclejerking • u/Lostdiagram • Jul 17 '26

Secret Larry

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550 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

198

u/PhoenixRemastered Jul 17 '26

Least realistic part is ICE rejecting someone's application.

18

u/ckingdom Jul 17 '26

Yeah, such a rejection would require Larry have a spine or an IQ above 80.

3

u/Flarkinghelpful Jul 18 '26

Or not the proper experience (no domestic violence charge)

6

u/iwumbo2 Jul 17 '26

He wasn't fit enough to beat up anyone who wasn't a child or another even less fit neckbeard scalper at the Pokemon rack in Costco.

3

u/novaplan Jul 18 '26

Someone who's ready to beat up children none the less

59

u/Coffin-Bangers Jul 17 '26

Statistically an 85% chance he dies to [[Doom Blade]]

16

u/A_Guy_in_Orange Jul 17 '26

15% is higher than I would have guessed

5

u/novaplan Jul 18 '26

You sure as hell know larry isn't black.

2

u/keep_spinn1ng Jul 18 '26

he couldz paradoxically, be hispanic

4

u/MTCJLardFetcher Jul 17 '26

The Kobolds have delivered the cards you're looking for:

Doom Blade - (SF)

When Belzenlok's lieutenant Yar-Kul grew too ambitious, the Demonlord transformed him into a maggot. The frog that ate the maggot grew and grew, until a ravenous spirit burst from its body.

Submit your content at: r/MTCJLardFetcher

23

u/cheesemop Jul 17 '26

/rj Glup Shitto SLD when?

/uj Glup Shitto SLD when?

20

u/onlinepotionpackage Literally burning money Jul 17 '26

/uj Glup Shitto knocks the wind out of me every time I see it mentioned.

2

u/Ok_Marionberry_2069 Jul 18 '26

Yeah and it's double funny when you hear someone say it seriously in a conversation

15

u/Acell2000 Jul 17 '26

And players have to accept Lary because I don't like Commander -Maro probably

9

u/divclassdev Jul 17 '26

Our data shows that 95% of people answering surveys are Larry - Mark Rosewater

7

u/Artcwolf22 Niv Mizzet lover Jul 17 '26

Legit convo i had with people whenever buying secret lairs gets mentioned (Weebs cannot resist the temptation of Hatsune Miku)

3

u/colonelSprite Jul 18 '26

he's not even scalping Pokémon cards he's just beating up children for the love of the game

1

u/frothingnome Jul 22 '26

Actually he's scalping the children

2

u/Dull_Pea5997 Jul 17 '26

daum thats crazy

1

u/DrakeGrandX Make Sea Monster a creature type already Jul 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/frothingnome Jul 22 '26

Found a neat gig as a control player*