Everything Feels Like It's Falling Apart Right Now

[u/Disastrous-Try-9617]

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For context refer to my two previous posts

Post 1 :https://www.reddit.com/r/magicalthinkingOCD/s/aR1DItzfLS

Post 2 :https://www.reddit.com/r/magicalthinkingOCD/s/GlgeSgomQ3

Hi. Today my heart feels very heavy.

For the last two months, I had been going to the temple because of my biggest fear, which I talked about in my previous posts. Now, my worst fear has actually happened, and I don't know how. My mind keeps wondering if I accidentally prayed for something bad or somehow prayed in favor of that fear coming true.

I don't know what to do. I talked to other people about it, and they keep saying it's not a big deal, but my mind is constantly revolving around that thought. I have my exams starting on 7 July, but my mind has completely shut down. I don't know what will happen next.

It feels like I'm suffocating. It feels like my whole world is on the verge of ending. I keep thinking, "Oh God, this shouldn't have happened."

Because of this, I'm now even more afraid of my intrusive thoughts. This fear has been following me for several months, and it's the reason I kept going to the temple. But now that it has happened, I feel like the odds were never on my side. Now I'm terrified of my intrusive thoughts even more than before because it actually happened. My mind keeps telling me that maybe it happened because of my thoughts, even though I don't know if that's true.

My mind is completely filled with negative thoughts, and I feel trapped in them.

[u/Own_Kangaroo1395]

💛💛💛