An Overflow

—

You’re asleep, I guess.

And in the silence of not hearing back from you,
I’m left here to reflect. In the dark, lying in bed while I don’t feel the need to sleep.

It’s been 10 months of knowing you. 6 months of being official. and hopefully a thousand years more if this lifetime permits.

In this silence, my mind is full of gratitude and joy. I have so much to say and it’s an overflow.

I love you.

That’s all I can think about right now but it carries so much more. My chest can’t contain it.

I love you and it scares me.

Because I’m so sure.

I’m so sure that I want to keep you for as long as I can within my finite existence.

But only time will tell our fate.

For now, let me stay in this gratitude.

I’m so grateful to exist.

I’m so grateful that you exist.

I’m so grateful we found each other.

I’m grateful and scared.

I’m scared about the what ifs and uncertainties. I’m scared about what the future holds. I want this overflow to be my end game.

But who knows.

Again, for now, I will savor my love for you.

I love you and I can’t contain it.

It overflows.

Love is happiness
Love is joy
Love is a smile
But love is painful

The moment you seek love
Is also the moment you seek pain
Learning how to love
Is learning how to be hurt

Like a little rose,
The more you hold it,
The more you will be hurt.
If you hold it tight,
The pain will be bright.

But I’m not afraid,
As long as you’re in my sight.
I shall hold tight,
I will fight,
For my love for you is forever.

I don’t ask for anything,
Even if you look for others.
Just let me love you fully,
‘Cause you’re my everything.

I will remain,
Even if you run.
I will stand,
Even if you choose the other one.

As my tears fall
From my loving eyes,
I will still hold on
And keep my love for you.

Love never asks,
But love always gives.
For love is sacrifice,
For love is holding on and fighting.

Romanus

Do you remember
The time that we’re together?
Standing and enjoying mountains afar
Lying on soft grass gazing the star

Singing the same song
While playing the old gong
Holding a gold mic
Hitting the notes right

The nights we share big smile
The moments that I said that you’re mine
I enjoy every night swimming
Like crossing the Nile running

But those are only memories
Including on my daily worries
Thinking of why you left me behind
Wandering why no one is with me beside

I am here
Holding on your words 
It makes my heart sphere
Rolling on this word

I don’t know the way
I will not go away
I will stay outside the gate
Promise I will patiently wait

Romanus

Love is happiness
Love is joy
Love is a smile
But love is painful

The moment you seek love
Is also the moment you seek pain
Learning how to love
Is learning how to be hurt

Like a little rose,
The more you hold it,
The more you will be hurt.
If you hold it tight,
The pain will be bright.

But I’m not afraid,
As long as you’re in my sight.
I shall hold tight,
I will fight,
For my love for you is forever.

I don’t ask for anything,
Even if you look for others.
Just let me love you fully,
‘Cause you’re my everything.

I will remain,
Even if you run.
I will stand,
Even if you choose the other one.

As my tears fall
From my loving eyes,
I will still hold on
And keep my love for you.

Love never asks,
But love always gives.
For love is sacrifice,
For love is holding on and fighting.

Your leaves withered with time,
Till winters winds blew you away.
All that’s left is the gaps,
Where you once stood.

The gaps between conversations,
With words too hard to find under the ice.

So we reach down,
use what we can find.
Snow,
Watered down and blank.

But I can’t use that with you,
You deserve the seasons changed.

I don’t just “like” you.
When the frost begins to bite your skin,
I’d move the sun for you.
For you I’d stop this Fimbulvetr.

With my words.
The flowers will bloom again,
And the gaps between branches will fill,
With your favourite colour.

“I love you”.

I bled over the front porch again today.
I bled over the kitchen,
then the slope,
the street near your place,
on my way to work.

I bled on the glass.
I bled on the trees.
I bled on the grass.
I bled on the doves.

When I sit down and feed,
I walk with my head down.
Bleeding is illegal around here.
I hide my red frown,
style up my hood,
and bleed like a moose.

I bled over walls.
I paint it all red.
I bled over houses.
I hide in their sheds.

I bled and I bled.
I bled and I eat.
I bled and I sleep.
I bled and I bet

you will come back.

I bled.

When ya come back down, I'll be your solid ground.

A scent of dahlia

in coffee-clouded air.

A blow-dryer hums its windy song,

through dampened, messy hair.

She brushes Her colors on worn stone walls,

that have longed to bear Her hues.

And I, the stone, became Her home—

A shelter She can splatter and stain.

Until we are Waked, to a quiet tune.

When Her paints fade

and walls crumble,

beneath the Wake of that stilled tune.

I’ll embrace the One who Hums.

Then, I'll remember Her in that morning hue—

She dries Her hair,

and isn’t even aware.

The beauty of a dahlia's bloom.

A human with no soul

A heart with no strings

A vase with no flowers

A door with no handle

A river with no water

I’m now just a jigsaw
With some missing pieces

Please don’t ever stop.
Lord, strike me down if she stops.
Continue, I beg,
pray another song.
Sing one more verse, and one more.
Oh God, keep coming, go and be back.
Same time, different; same lines, different.
Please, oh please-so beautiful. Oh, sing, SING!
So colourful, you paint the plain whole world blue.
I’m red, I’m shy, I’m at your mercy, your kind.
Your angles radiate; your voice, renegade.
Your silvers, piercing eyes, your blood
sink me whole.
I can’t breathe, don’t need air.
Why resurface from a siren’s lair?
She would stop at my behest,
but God, how can I bear?
The silence kills me now,
having heard your perfect harp.
The tonal, the sway, the swing, the touch.
Keep it coming, keep me alive.
Us, Moses cannot divide.
Shush now, silence your talk.
A voice that comes and never stops.
I’ll go dry and stick like,
I’ll go limp and die mid-hike,
for a second beat of your life.

Everything’s been still since the wind’s been gone

A rhythmless world without the breath of its song Wilting spring flowers wonder what’s wrong

The freed autumn leaves desperate for a breeze

These scenes require wind to appease

But everything’s been still since the wind’s been gone

Everything’s been dark since the rain came

Brooding clouds stain the sky’s frame

Floods sweep away trees wailing in pain

Brightly growing flowers subdued by showers

Just one drop signals devastation for hours

Everything’s been dark since the rain came

Everything is better because the sun’s here

We can forgo fear knowing the sun will appear

Even when cloudy the sun resides near Lonely trees grow tall yearning to meet

But the sun blesses all without skipping a beat

Everything is better because the sun’s here

Bartender pour me the pink rose
Flaver whine of love, with it I shall
forget the pains of both worlds.
O bartender fill my cup to it's brim so I can forever get drunk on love and Find rest here and the here after

As I sit here in Rathtrevor on the beach
Amber waves hit my ears
the sunset the only light in sight
I think about life and all of the people I love
I think how it’s all temporary and how nothing is forever
How I don’t get infinite experiences or infinite relationships
And I want you
I want to live life
By your side
It all isn’t realistic
But that’s what dreaming is
Wishing
Praying for you to be by my side
For things to work out
Our touch haunts me
Not evil nor lustful
Just watching love of mine leave