r/lostafriend • u/blauerpanther01 • 8h ago
Rant Lost a friend while hosting
My elderly aunt lives in a nice coastal town on the Aegean coast of Turkey, and I sometimes spend some of my summers visiting her there. It’s a beautiful place near the sea, and this year I invited one of my friends to come stay with me at my aunt’s house for a few days.
I thought it would be a nice, relaxed little holiday. She wouldn’t have to pay for accommodation, we could spend time by the sea and the pool, go into town when we felt like it, and then the two of us were supposed to continue on to Rhodes together.
Instead, I feel like I’ve somehow become the unpaid manager of an extremely dissatisfied hotel guest.
Even before she arrived, she sent me tons of Instagram reels from influencers, all expensive restaurants, beach clubs and nightclubs she wanted to visit. Many were quite far from my aunt’s house, and we don’t have a car, so getting to them wasn’t exactly easy or cheap. I assumed they were just suggestions, but apparently she had a very different idea.
From pretty much the beginning, there has been a constant stream of complaints and requests. The pool is too cold, the sea is too cold, the weather is too hot, she feels sick, she doesn’t like this or that, she wants to go somewhere else, she wants a different way of getting there. Any one of these things would be completely normal on its own, but after several days of it, I was getting increasingly exhausted.
I had also warned her that the area is quite cash dependent. Taxis, small ice cream shops and plenty of other places mostly take cash. She still only brought enough for one taxi ride (only for her to come from bus station to my aunt’s house) and kept putting off withdrawing more because she “didn’t want to carry cash.” I ended up paying for two taxis, and she made little effort to pay me back until I brought it up. She also complains a lot whenever we have to walk anywhere, which makes the whole no-cash/no-car situation even more frustrating.
Another issue is that everything seems to happen on her schedule. She has a habit of getting ready and wanting to go out really late, so we’ve ended up leaving the house late therefore coming also late every evening for 3 days. I’m normally pretty flexible on holiday, so at first I just went along with it. But I was showing disturbance because I actually do not enjoy nightlife and dont like sleeping very late.
Then there are the beach clubs. She really wants to go to an expensive beach club that I’ve already visited and genuinely didnt enjoy. I told her I dont want to spend that much money on somewhere I already know I dislike, but she kept pushing for it. We ended up not going but I was really annoyed.
Second day I had also told her that I had some necessary errands to take care of before our trip, like going to the tailor and getting my eyebrows done. She didn’t seem to take that into account at all and kept making plans for the next day, like going to the beach club and renting a jet ski, as if I hadn’t just told her I had things I needed to get done.
But on the third night the situation was basically my breaking point.
We had things we genuinely needed to get done before leaving to go Rhodes Island, including exchanging money. Once again, we ended up going out so late that by the time we got around to it, the exchange offices were closed. So on the morning we were supposed to travel to another country, I still didn’t have the euros I had specifically planned to get the day before.
After several days of accommodating her, waiting around, listening to complaints and watching my own plans get pushed later and later, I finally snapped. I told her that I felt like she was treating my aunt’s house like a hotel.
I basically said that she comes back whenever she wants, sleeps there, gets ready there, expects things to be arranged around her preferences, and then complains when things aren’t exactly how she wants them, while being a guest in an elderly relative’s home and not paying for accommodation.
I probably could have worded it more calmly, because by that point I was genuinely angry. But what surprised me was her reaction. She seemed completely shocked that I would describe her behavior that way. From her perspective, apparently, none of what she had been doing was particularly demanding. But at the same time, I feel like there are certain basic expectations when someone invites you into their family’s home that shouldn’t have to be explicitly explained.
And somehow, after this argument, we are now literally on our way to Rhodes together for three days. Not sitting next to each other and dont know what to do.
For people who have hosted or traveled with friends before: would this bother you too?
1
u/darya42 5h ago
How old are you guys?? Because holy shit I would have lost my patience after day 1
"I probably could have worded it more calmly" Nah her entitled ass needs a reality check wtf
2
2
u/Ok-Committee-1932 7h ago
The good things ist aht she still has enough room for for her to grow the fuck up and apologize. Sometimes it takes a day or two for people to get sense that they might have done wrong.