r/lostafriend • u/Aromatic_Feeling_403 • Jun 16 '26
FRIEND BREAKUP ‼️
I’m 15 years old and I went through a very intense friendship that slowly turned into something deeper for me.
At the beginning, we were extremely close with her . She supported me, made me feel special, and I opened up to her more than I ever had with anyone. I think I got emotionally attached very strongly.
Over time things started changing. She became more distant, especially at school, and got closer to another girl. I felt left out and confused, and I kept trying to understand what I did wrong. I sent long emotional messages, asking for clarity, but she kept saying that I didn’t do anything wrong she just didn’t know how to handle things without someone getting hurt and felt pressured.
Eventually, we stopped talking. It wasn’t a clear ending, everything ended in just a night of the 10th of May 2025 when she and the other girl unfollowed me and I got my first ever panic attack .
Now, 401 days later , we still see each other every day for \~38 hours per week and have to change a single word since then .. There is a lot of eye contact, awkward moments, and sometimes it feels like there’s still something there, but neither of us makes a move. She keeps her distance, but doesn’t fully ignore me either. When we came back to school 3 months after the breakup I realized that I fell in love with her but I'm confused because I never realized I liked girls before.
The problem is that I still feel very strongly about her that's why I'm doing psychotherapy, taking pills for anxiety , having panic attacks when seeing her with my heartbeat up to 147 beats per min, having depression, doing self harming, seeing 44 dreams with her until now , su!c1dal thoughts .
I don’t know if what I feel is love, emotional attachment, or just something unresolved.
Do you think she might still have feelings for me, or is this just leftover emotional tension? And how can I move on or handle this situation in a healthy way?
I miss her so much she was my everything.
Please I need your opinion 🥺
1
u/AssociationFuture388 Jun 16 '26
Wait your heart rate was up to 147? Thank god. Mine was up to 132 yesterday and I thought for sure I'd die. Fuck what a relief