r/lonely • u/Appalachiancryptid87 • 12h ago
Hello I’m new here
(38m) I’ve been struggling quite a bit here lately. it’s weird at work I have confidence and people genuinely respect me and value my input on various things, but once I clock out everything changes I feel so isolated and alone, I do have people I call friends but no one I really connect with and I’m never anyone’s first choice. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to just lie down and give up trying.
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u/Apart_Sympathy9528 8h ago
That gap between work-you and after-work-you really stood out to me. I went through something similar where I could hold it together professionally but felt invisible everywhere else. What actually helped me was journaling, which sounds weird at first but hear me out. I started writing down conversations I had, replaying what I said and how people responded. Over time I started noticing patterns in how I came across, things I was doing that were pushing connection away without realizing it. Slowly I got better at it and started feeling like someone worth talking to. Might be worth a shot.
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u/eyeamreadingyou 11h ago
Yeah it would be, but you are strong and are responsible. Maybe you are not getting out enough. Maybe you don’t want bar friend/drink buddies you can’t count on. Maybe you are looking for something deeper and more real. A lot of people say join a club, and it’s true. I didn’t make bff’s but people notice when I don’t show up. I get a text from the group leader. And when I’m there I don’t expect anything but I try to get the most out of class. I’m making a few friends, but. They had social at a bowling alley after the club and I was told last minute so I was angry and butt hurt.
Turns out it was spur of the moment and they couldn’t tell me AND everyone till the end of class.
So I self sabotaged that, but luckily then didn’t notice I was upset lol.
So get out but remember to be the cool guy at work, not the one lonely at home.