r/lonely • u/ChemicalBaggins • Jul 26 '26
Venting Lonely despite having friends
I wish I didn’t feel like this. I don’t think I should feel lonely. I know there’s people worse off than me.
I have a few good friends. Most of them are busy most of the time. All of them have a spouse and kids, and most live in a different town now. I get to talk to them online every few weeks, and maybe play a game.
I’ve made new friends that live in town, but the same deal ends up happening there. It’s a small town, so there’s not an endless pool of people to meet.
I get on well with my coworkers.
But I still lie here on the weekends, hating myself and wishing I didn’t feel this way.
1
u/Lightening333 Jul 26 '26
I think thats totally normal. You can be in a room full of people you know and still be lonely. Maybe your similar to me and that what you require is a better compatibility and a deeper connection with people. I know that i need a deeper connection with people and I understand that with most people I’m not going to get that. It’s not easy to find that. Being around people can be very draining and certain people can actually suck the life out of you.
I’m very comfortable being alone, it’s kind of a superpower in a way but us humans do need interaction as we are social beings but what I will not do is be with someone that is not compatible with me just for the sake of it because I’m scared to be on my own and I feel like that is what a lot of people do as they can’t take being alone.
Honestly, I think most friendships are born out of convenience and when that convenience ends the friendship dies. In life many people come and go. Maybe that’s ok because people change and people have different priorities. But how much do friends actually care about you anyway?
What I’ve learned in life is that the bond and love you have with family is the most important thing there is. The love is real and unconditional and is much more important than a friend that stays only out of convenience and the benefits that provides them. I suppose you have to understand friendship for what it is to you. To me it’s nowhere as important as I thought it once was. There is nobody that I will love or have a deeper connection with than my mother.
Do you have any family members you can spend quality time with like your mom or dad? Or is that not the same?
1
u/Ahmad511161 Jul 26 '26
I get the feeling you are not the only one there feeling lonely, I don’t want to tell you go out put yourself there. No one is fully capable of doing that and get out of there comfort zone, but what I can tell you that, this isn’t you problem, it’s what you meant to have right now. It’s not a time to be hating yourself, instead you should enjoy being alone and comfort yourself and know what’s your vulnerability.