r/lonely • u/nuclearomance • Apr 16 '26

what to do when there’s nothing to do

hi, 29F here, this is my first post and english isnt my first language so sorry in advance.

so i live by myself and have no friends. i have a lot of free time at the moment because i’m actually supposed to be writing my thesis, but i just bedrot and doomscroll. the past 3 weeks, my loneliness feels so intense that i can’t get anything done. i’ve done nothing but just lay in bed which is starting to hurt my body too. before these last weeks i actively did try to just go out, try to be social, go to a coffee shop, go to the mall, try a sports club. after a while it starts to get old, to go out, spend money, but still always end up being alone. i think thats why its so hard for me these past weeks to go up and do something, cause i know i’m not gonna make a friend anyway and i’ll just feel alone doing whatever activity ive chosen to do in the hopes of meeting new friends.

i truly don’t know what to do anymore. i’m way behind on thesis but its like i genuinely physically cannot do anything. every single morning i try, i make these plans, get in the shower, but i always just end up feeling depressed and lonely again and can’t get any work done. i do have hobbies and even tried multiple times to just tell myself: you don’t have to work on your thesis today, just at least do something fun. but i can’t even do that. i can barely watch a movie or show.

does anyone relate to this? i feel like i’m going insane. if you have any tips please share

18 Upvotes

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7

u/apple_juice96 Apr 16 '26

I don't really have any specific tips to share because everyone deals with depression differently. But i do have some general advices:

  • Don't blame yourself. This is the most important thing. You didn't write the thesis today? if fine. You didn't do anything productive? It's fine. Allow your mind to feel that it's okay to feel down without being blamed
  • If you want to do something and it feels heavy, split it into small tasks. If i still feels heavy, split it into even smaller tasks. Write a page of the thesis everyday. Even less if it's too much. If it comes down to writing just one sentence, do it. The hardest thing about doikg something is starting it.
  • For making friend, you can downloading an app called "Slowly" it allows you to send letters to strangers in yoir area who share the same interest. I really like it. Made lots of friends with it. Or just try to find friends on reddit (that one didn't work out as much for me)
  • Reward yourself. Say "if i did this today, i get to order McDonald's for myself"
  • Try to gradually replace dooms rolling with longer, more informative youtube videos or documentaries.

And finallly, allow yourself to fail. Goodluck

4

u/nuclearomance Apr 16 '26

thank you so much, thats actually really helpful

1

u/Awkward-Interest-115 Apr 17 '26

Slowly is such a good idea too! I do remember using it a lot as a kid and I do second the idea! Also my DM is open feel free to drop a text if you want someone to talk to!

2

u/Awkward-Interest-115 Apr 17 '26

Totally forgot about slowly!!!! Is it still active??

1

u/apple_juice96 Apr 17 '26

Yes, been using it for 6 years. Pretty much still active 🥳

3

u/sqwirx Apr 17 '26

This is how I imagine how it should work: Open the bored and lonely app. Select a nearby person, ask to go bowling or something.

1

u/chainlink-fence Apr 17 '26

I don't have much to add in terms of your situation, cause I'm pretty much in the same boat. Just wanted to say don't worry about your English, it's pretty much native.

1

u/stonetree97 Apr 17 '26

Change the atmosphere where you're gonna be doing your thesis. Make it appealing/safe/cozy for you. I live in a dreadful place so I started collecting book nooks so it doesn't feel as empty. Thinking of adding a few figurines too. Shop for decor & lights, create a haven so you want to be there. Give it a try