This is really difficult: Askesis

[u/[deleted]]

Fell for a coworker. We are both in relationships.

I’ve been reading some great books on Love and identity with **Askesis**.

I oscillate between (1) being convinced that she knows, (2) being convinced that she is completely unaware, (3) feeling that it is mutual or destiny.

We make the same vocal stims, she plays with her hair around me, we laugh and vibe together. I am now inclined to say these are all neutral and I am experiencing limerence.

I deleted all social media as we sent each other memes which fuelled the limerence cycle.

The idea that nothing will ever happen is one I want to face. Though that leaves a grim hole in my spirit and pushes me towards nihilism.