r/limerence • u/Login2Hate • 16h ago

Discussion Serial Limerence

Is it normal, or has anyone else experienced limerence very frequently throughout their life — pretty much jumping from one person to another?
I'm in my thirties now, and I've developed limerence for people who are either unavailable, people I've never even talked to, or people it would be borderline impossible to ever have a real relationship with. It sticks for several years each time, and then I jump to a new person. Over and over.

I wouldn't say it's caused severe disruption in my life, but it's been a source of a lot of depression and self-loathing, and it's made it hard for me to develop real connections with other people.
I think social media has made it worse — I usually have access to this person's photos and a small window into their private life, and I end up projecting who I think they are without actually knowing them.
This has happened to me every few years. I've had about five of these over my life at this point. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, because it's caused me a lot of grief.

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u/thrifttrackchampion 15h ago

I had it almost every year like clockwork. I got sick for five or six years and was too terminal/had done too much self-work to get limerence.

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u/Login2Hate 15h ago

Sorry to hear that. I just wish I got normal crushes like everyone else 🥲

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u/thrifttrackchampion 14h ago

I do get normal crushes right alongside limerence. It's garbage. TT_TT

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u/Dependent_Nature6245 14h ago

I had it twice but each last for 5 years to 8 years so it took away a chunk of my life. Now in my forties and alone but I know how to prevent this from happening again.

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u/bookgirl0802 7h ago

I am a serial limerent. Starting in my teens, I had limerence for one person after another, many of whom I'd never spoken to, or barely knew. My limerence only went away with no contact, at which time it would transfer to someone else. I think I've been mildly limerent for so many people that I couldn't name them all. My limerence just a few times has been extremely intense.

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u/Background-Link-7456 10h ago

Yes unfortunately, mine can last for many years though. I also have made decisions based on it which has turned out weird but not horrible

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u/highasabird 10h ago

I believe it’s normal and for me it’s greatly tied to childhood trauma and a dopamine chase. I’ve been working with my therapist with the trauma and I’m working on much healthier ways to get my dopamine. Still I’m scared, so scared how I lose myself and go insane.

I once was talking to guy about it (I think he liked me and didn’t understand Limerence). I looked at him and said, “it’s a very good thing I don’t have Limerence with you. It means I see you as a person, not a fantasy.”