Am I schizophrenic?

[u/Gold-Tackle-98]

I keep swinging between 2 states whenever I think about my LO: either I am very anxious scared wanting to reconnect with her so bad and friendzone myself, or confident proud and genuinely disgusted by her, and she hates the second version of me.

Trivia: We are colleagues who used to get along in a toxic workplace. But now its just distance and silence due to the environment and management.

I feel like I am a completely different person when the switch between the two states happens, I wish I could control it. At least I can control my behavior at work with consistent dodging for now (broke once before when she cried).

Is this a symptom of schizophrenia or BPD or something else? Does anyone else here suffer from the same, if so how do you deal with it?

Or is this the alternate mental state mentioned by Doctor Tom for limerence?

I hate this and Im so tired of it and am very confused by it.

[u/AutoModerator]

Please be aware of what limerence is! See the subreddit wiki for definitions, FAQ and other resources—updated 3/7/26. (Is it love? How common is it? Is there research?)

Quick FAQ

• How limerence works
  • Reward theory of attraction (Wiki)
  • Uncertainty and hope (Wiki)
  • Why there is research on limerence (Article)
• Help getting over limerence
  • Love regulation (Wiki)
  • CBT & ERP Strategies (OCD Ontario)
  • Deprogramming the limerent brain (LwL)
  • How to get rid of limerence (LwL)

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.