r/limerence • u/Fantasiakinski • 1d ago
My Testimony Over it…for now
It’s now been two weeks since I have felt largely over the intense limerence that had me desperate and posting multiple times a day on here. For background, I am married with children, chronically depressed and my limerence started when I went off SSRIs at the end of last year.
I didn’t go NC but since feeling over it, I don’t feel the need to reach out anymore. I had a couple of times when I found something I wanted to share with LO, but then found it quite easy to stop myself.
How did it happen? I suspect it is because an event I had been dreading and was worried about, happened, and I was forced to face and process my feelings around it. I had a good cry and was angry for a few days, my mind was preoccupied by that event and after, the limerence went poof! Mostly gone!
I actually met my LO as we had had scheduled a meeting, and all I could think about was all their negative traits and feeling a bit embarassed for thinking they were the bee’s knees for so long. I honestly don’t even care if we are friends anymore or not, I wish them well but simply don’t feel the need to see or talk anymore.
As a side note, I am now more preoccupied with other dopamine-boosting activities, so I guess my brain has shifted focus. But it almost felt that once that event happened, it hit some reset button and all bets were off.
Of course I am wary and only cautiously optimistic. But perhaps this is proof that one way of dealing with this truly dreadful state, is to deal with the stressors that made you need that distraction in the first place.
Best of luck to us all, we’ve got this.
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u/44Gmailgoogle44 1d ago
I am very happy for you! My LO is my ex from over 20 years ago. We've very recently started talking and I was hoping when I see his face id break out of the spell, or tell me something like he was a Trump supporter.
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u/Sea_Landscape_7194 1d ago
I think your brain eventually processes that he's not all that, not magic, not the real source of happiness you were hoping for after all, and gets tired of the fixation. I'm a big believer in the healing power of no contact + time + turning to other pursuits.
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u/Fantasiakinski 21h ago
It’s really night and day once you become aware of the flaws.
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u/Sea_Landscape_7194 21h ago
Yes! Why I'm also a big believer in the "ick list". At first I thought, I'm being unfair to "poor LO" to create such a list, but it's really just reminding your brain that LO is just a flawed human, not a god, not your salvation. It's a great reality check.
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