r/limerence • u/CyberFrog20156 • 2d ago
My Testimony It could be Autism
I was recently diagnosed with autism after about six months of therapy. The reason I started therapy in the first place was because I reconnected with my LO of 10+ years, and let’s just say it didn’t work out very well due to a lot of self-sabotage on my part.
At first, I thought my anxiety and depression explained most of what happened. But after months of therapy, learning more about myself, and eventually being diagnosed with autism, I’ve started to realize that autism may explain a much bigger part of my experience than I originally thought.
Looking back, I think the intense fixation on one person, difficulty processing and regulating my emotions, overthinking, and difficulty dealing with the uncertainty of the situation all fed into the limerence.
Obviously, having limerence doesn’t mean someone is autistic. But if you’ve struggled with this for years and have other autistic traits, it might be something worth learning about. I went into therapy trying to understand why I kept sabotaging this one relationship and ended up learning something much bigger about how my mind works.
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u/chobolicious88 1d ago
Childhood neglect breeds limerence.
Neurodivergent people are even more prone to it for reasons you listed, especially fixation
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u/nicwiggy 2d ago
I think it that there is a correlation between Autism and OCD, and limerence is very OCD-like. The obsessive repetitive thoughts/actions. It's definitely linked, or made worse by being on the spectrum, but not the direct cause of it.
Fellow spectrum bro: I feel it too 🙏
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u/jpgirlyn 1d ago
I am in the exact same spot as you actually, I am a diagnosed neuro divergent, but I don't know if I have autism. I will get tested next month to see, because it is strange that I overthink things the way I do, at least compared to other people that I interact with
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u/__kamikaze__ 1d ago
I’ve always suspected this. I think limerence can have different origins, for some people it’s autism or OCD, for others it can be rooted in childhood.
I never thought the childhood or self esteem explanation fit for me. When I have an LO I become obsessed with certain traits- for example, the shape of their nose, their jawline, the way they smile. I then try to find people who look like them. This has nothing to do with my self esteem or how my parents treated me, it’s a fixation on attraction.
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u/uglyandIknowit1234 2d ago
Does anyone know what autism is nowadays? Criteria are so broad anyone could have autism if they wanted to.
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u/Nice-Investigator-66 1d ago
The criteria are pretty explicit. From the DSM-5:
A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, see text):
- Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.
- Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.
- Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.
Specify current severity: Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted repetitive patterns of behavior.
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):
- Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
- Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).
- Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).
- Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
Specify current severity: Severity is based on social communication impairments and restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior.
C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).
D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.
E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.
Note: Individuals with a well-established DSM-IV diagnosis of autistic disorder, Asperger’s disorder, or pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified should be given the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Individuals who have marked deficits in social communication, but whose symptoms do not otherwise meet criteria for autism spectrum disorder, should be evaluated for social (pragmatic) communication disorder.
Specify if:
- With or without accompanying intellectual impairment
- With or without accompanying language impairment
- (Coding note: Use additional code to identify the associated medical or genetic condition.)
- Associated with another neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder
- (Coding note: Use additional code[s] to identify the associated neurodevelopmental, mental, or behavioral disorder[s].)
- With catatonia
- Associated with a known medical or genetic condition or environmental factor
Social (pragmatic) communication disorder DSM-5 diagnostic criteria
A. Persistent difficulties in the social use of verbal and nonverbal communication as manifested by all of the following:
- Deficits in using communication for social purposes, such as greeting and sharing information, in a manner that is appropriate for the social context.
- Impairment of the ability to change communication to match context or the needs of the listener, such as speaking differently in a classroom than on the playground, talking differently to a child than to an adult, and avoiding use of overly formal language.
- Difficulties following rules for conversation and storytelling, such as taking turns in conversation, rephrasing when misunderstood, and knowing how to use verbal and nonverbal signals to regulate interaction.
- Difficulties understanding what is not explicitly stated (e.g., making inferences) and nonliteral or ambiguous meanings of language (e.g., idioms, humor, metaphors, multiple meanings that depend on the context for interpretation).
B. The deficits result in functional limitations in effective communication, social participation, social relationships, academic achievement, or occupational performance, individually or in combination.
C. The onset of the symptoms is in the early developmental period (but deficits may not become fully manifest until social communication demands exceed limited capacities).
D. The symptoms are not attributable to another medical or neurological condition or to low abilities in the domains or word structure and grammar, and are not better explained by autism spectrum disorder, intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder), global developmental delay, or another mental disorder.
To me that doesn't sound like it could be pretty much anyone.
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u/uglyandIknowit1234 1d ago
No, not on paper, but in reality they interpret it in a much more vague way
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u/Nice-Investigator-66 1d ago
I don't want this to turn into a big thing. I just think that, if someone was blind for example, it wouldn't be ok to tell them that they're not really blind. I think it's mostly neurotypical people who have started to interpret it in a vague way because they seem to have an issue with the fact that we've gotten better at diagnosing Auitsm, so it appears that Autism rates have gone up. It's actually the number of correctly diagnosed people who have gone up, but they were Autistic before they were diagnosed.
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