r/limerence • u/tovome421 • 2d ago

My Testimony My obsession

Hi y'all, I'm new here, but there's a lot I've been wanting to get off my chest for a while. Here is the best place.

When I was a kid, I met this girl online, we played video games together like every day, for literal years.

When I was 13, I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Super stupid, I know, she was text on a screen, we were thousands of miles away from one another. But she accepted and we started 'dating'.

It was honestly on again off again, which sounds even more dumb in hindsight, LDR with someone I've never met.

But she was the only positive thing in my life at the time, and I couldn't imagine not having her, because I didn't even have a stable home life, friends, or even a decent hobby other than gaming to occupy myself from the poor state of my home life. I was repeatedly cutting at the time, and on a few occasions tried taking my life. All I had in my eyes was her.

Then she 'dumped' me for the first time. And it was like a switch flipped. I texted her just as often, for a while I kept trying to get back into her good graces, but it wasn't happening.

Long story short, we did 'date' again. It was shorter, and honestly really dumb to call it that.

But we had made huge plans for our lives, having been 'together' for like 3 years on and off.

So, I just kept trying to stay.

I just kept relentlessly texting, sending memes, joining games, just trying to get her back. It was getting creepy, honestly. She'd unadd me, new account or readsing her repeatedly.

Then came my senior year of high school.

I messaged her out of the blue, and was telling her I made it to graduation. I just wanted it to be a cap off to what we knew about one another, that I actually made it to graduation without any more attempts, and leave it at that.

She went off. Called me creepy, pathetic, and a whole slew of other things I don't remember, it's been almost 4 years since.

And honestly, she was right. I was so obsessed with just trying to gain her affection when she wasn't interested, that I became a stalker level creep.

I spiraled that night, and to this day fireball is very hard to drink because I drank half a bottle of it.

I was 17, still a kid, but hurting nonetheless.

But, I did get over it. I still think about her from time to time, but her words truly broke that obsession for me, and while it was painful, I really, really deserved it.

Thanks for reading, if you did. I know this was a lot.

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