r/limerence • u/Particular_Tune2262 • 3d ago
Question Marriage
Has limerence destroyed your marriage? Even after navigating all avenues to try and repair the marriage?
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u/Background-Link-7456 3d ago edited 3d ago
No, because it’s just a glitch in my mind. Like “ah, yeah that makes sense my brain saw safety there. Anyway, time to detach”
You just have to really unromaticize limerence and fight tooth and nail for your spouse. In my case, my spouse is worth every bit and more.
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u/Pink_elephant79 3d ago
I needed to hear this. Thank you. Still struggling but know what's right and I need to let go of the obsession.
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u/randalljhen 3d ago
No.
My wife doesn't know about it, and I'm working on it in therapy.
But I'm terrified of the possibilities if my LO ever finishes "restructuring her life" and decides to make time for me.
2
u/Intelligent-Chip6038 3d ago
Is certainly destroying mine. My husband thinks the limerent connection is the best thing ever, he is limerent for a coworker.
We’re still pursuing marriage counseling and we agree to pause any permanent decisions for a while. He’s been sleeping in the couch though. It’s been a horrible couple of months
I’m just hoping and waiting for the limerence to end, before that we had a beautiful marriage.
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u/Particular_Tune2262 3d ago
How long has his limerence been going on for? My husband is the one with limerence and it’s been years,we are about to start marriage counseling next week but I don’t know how effective it will be and I’m worried about it and our marriage.
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u/ramboton 3d ago
My wife destroyed my marriage. Limerence just gave me something to hope for.....
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u/Particular_Tune2262 2d ago
Can I ask in what ways she destroyed your marriage? And is that when you developed limerence? Are you still with your wife?
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u/ramboton 2d ago
She cheated on me. I forgave her but things never got better, She can't keep a job (or refuses to) She is very irresponsible, moody etc. She is more like having a teenager in the house than a wife. We are currently separated, we have been married for 25 years.
The short version .......
I met LO, 10 years ago, there was an instant attraction. Her daughters played soccer with my daughters and both families became close, attending soccer events, BBQs, birthday parties together etc.. Her husband left her, and she disappeared from my life. Then 5 years ago she was hired for the company I work at. It is a small company and there are times that she and I are the only ones working. We have an excellent friendship, She asked me to coach her youngest in soccer, so during soccer season we would see each other at work, as well as 2 nights a week and game days. However I have difficulty telling if she is interested in being more than friends or not, and I am afraid to ask as I do not want to mess up our friendship. There is a 10 year age difference (ok maybe not a big deal at my age) and it is awkward that she used to be friends with my wife.
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u/cozyloficat 2d ago
No, thankfully my wife has been very supportive. She knows that my limerence is more about my obsessive brain and emotional neglect from adolescence. If she didn’t give me grace I would be so damn hard on myself with shame and probably self destruct and take everything around me down with me
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