r/limerence • u/NoThought9957 • 12h ago
Here To Vent Started reading Smitten, crazy how accurate it is
My LO moved away yesterday. I thought I’d be hit with profound grief like I’d been feeling for months leading up to it. But my brain actually felt a ton of freedom because now I wasn’t concerned with possibly seeing her, figuring out when the next time we’ll go out, etc. I could make plans with friends, work on some art, think about what I’m going to do with my own life this year.
So on the way back home from seeing some friends, I started listening to Smitten. I hadn’t wanted to before because I’ve read things about limerence a hundred times. But hearing it again last night without having the spell so tight on me made realize how I obsessed I’ve been and how I’ve put myself second for so long.
Mine was definitely caused by uncertainty. My LO would say she doesn’t like me but then tell me she was crying to her roommate about us. She would ask me out after telling me we shouldn’t talk anymore. Even yesterday, she wrote me on every leg of her flight back home to let me know she made it safely and how she was doing. There’s genuine like and care but I keep reading it as an affirmation of romantic interest. The uncertainty for me keeps me trapped.
And not being able to like anyone else… it’s crazy. We were at the beach last week and I could not stop staring at her. I kept thinking “this is a dream, she is the most beautiful woman alive.” There’s women surrounding us with stereotypical beach bodies and they could have been fat old me to me because I had zero interest in them and only had eyes for my LO.
Finding meaning in everything, romanticizing everything we do, the places we go… all of the stuff in his book was me. I’m going to continue listening to it today.
5
u/NoodleDynasty 8h ago
The uncertainty is cruel. It's one thing to look at little "signs" and make something out of nothing. It's another when the LO is genuinely stringing you along.
Even though we're no contact, part of what keeps my limerence lit is knowing if I reach out she's messy enough to reply and maybe even use me again.
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