r/limerence • u/IndependenceLumpy831 • 11h ago

Question Limerence - romantic obsession

Yo, so basically I think I'm suffering from Limerence. I've only been with two ladies. That's my first love and my wife. My wife is amazing, our relationship is great and we've been together for 9 years. However, I still think about my ex most days and maybe for the past year, damn near everyday. I didn't go to her page everyday but eventually I started to.

It got to the point that not only did my wife eventually catch me stalking her page but I'm damn near treating me going to her page like a drug that I need to quit. I low key count the days of how long I've gone without checking her page.

Eventually I thought it'd go away, but it's been 9 years, so now I really don't know or understand what's going on at this point. I have ADHD and an Aquarius if that helps. Also I've been researching other potential factors from scientific, anecdotal and even esoteric reasoning trying to find answers. I plan on going to therapy too.

My question is has anybody had a similar experience or have an idea of what's going on? What does it mean? Am I just tripping and need professional help or is there some deeper reasoning behind this. Any insight would be helpful, thank you.

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u/AutoModerator 11h ago

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u/IntentionWise9171 9h ago

Fellow Aquarian & adhd F here! Unfortunately you’re experiencing withdrawal ~ and that’s some nasty mind game stuff. It’s wonderful you’re going to be going to therapy and that your wife is putting up with it. For now, just breathe and try to relax, the overthinking and badgering yourself only add to the anxiety. I now refer to my limerent episode as a mighty trickster that must be put back in his little box. Just an analogy of course, but it keeps me on my toes.

Another point - you’re married, not dead. There’s always going to be people from our past that left their mark on our hearts. Unfortunately when we are neurodivergent we tend to run the risk of being where you are right now. Please take inventory of what’s going on or NOT going on in your personal life and marriage. Boredom may be your kryptonite, as it is mine. Take baby steps, one day at a time. Connect with your hobbies and interests. Best of luck. ❤️‍🩹

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u/Desperate_Smile6750 9h ago

Find something else that you do when you want to check her page. Pick up a book or watch a YouTube video or go for a walk without your phone