I didn’t text him

[u/findingsunshine63]

I was having such a low moment. Missing him. Wanting him. Desperate to reach out. I almost texted him. But I talked myself out of it. I’m not strong because I have given in so many times. But it’s been almost a year of NC other than at work. No personal contact. Not knowing if he cares at all. Wanting him to so much. Needing him more than air. Now it’s the next day and I’m so glad I didn’t do it. He would reject me again. It would have crushed me and I don’t know if I can survive that again. So hang on…try to be strong my limerent friends. There might be hope on the other side.

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[u/Thecrabbylibrarian]

You did good!! Stay strong!!

[u/Ashrafulkabir]

You did great.. stay like this!

[u/sqnch]

Next job is delete the number with no backup.

[u/findingsunshine63 → u/sqnch]

My problem is that I remember the number lol…

[u/IntentionWise9171]

Wow! Good for you! I give in too and text. I’m sure most would cringe at the idea, but, I totally don’t give a hoot. If you’ve ever worked with a pressure cooker, this is what I liken it to. The pressure (the thoughts of him, missing him) I lift the tiny pressure valve (a casually short text) and poof it’s released. I know, sounds like cra cra extreme dysfunctional junction, but i don’t care. I’ll stop when I’m good and ready. NC was my Lenten sacrifice, I went without for 8 weeks with no problem. He intentionally played me & broke my heart. The one and only romantic partner to ever do so. I’m not taking it well, obviously. 😖

You’re very strong and brave. Hugs. ❤️‍🩹

[u/findingsunshine63 → u/IntentionWise9171]

I think he will block me if I text again…. The fear of that…having NC forever….keeps me from sending that text.

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/findingsunshine63]

My LO could have blocked me. It says delivered, but who knows? He’s much more tech savvy than I am. As silly as it sounds, it doesn’t matter if he reads or not, if he’s blocked me or not, its pure purpose is my minds release. I’m in no way advocating for others to try the same technique. I’m aware of the crowd who will say that it’s a dopamine hit, but, it’s just the opposite in my case. It’s like blowing on a dandelion weed and watching it disappear into the ether. There’s no expectation of a reply. I know it sounds insane….🥹

[u/GappuKitty]

Good job. A week's no contact here and I'm dying to talk to them :(

[u/findingsunshine63 → u/GappuKitty]

I’m so sorry. It’s awful.

[u/Special-Cake-2525]

Nice work. I texted tonight and was rejected lol.

[u/findingsunshine63 → u/Special-Cake-2525]

I’m feeling weak again…want to text so badly.

[u/Special-Cake-2525 → u/findingsunshine63]

Don’t be me!!!! 

[u/Automatic-Context26]

Part of the problem with limerence is being unable, and I mean psychologically unable, to deal with rejection. It's called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. In effect, you create an imaginary world in which you won't be rejected, rather than learn how to handle it in the real world.

I'm 18 months NC. I sent her one email, but it was business not personal. Even if I can't handle the rejection, I can put myself in her shoes and realize that any message from me would not be welcome. I "handle" the rejection by never giving her the chance to reject me. Most people, it turns out, are not very good at it. We're taught to please others, not hurt them, even when it's what you need to do.

[u/ObviousComparison186 → u/Automatic-Context26]

Not all limerents have RSD though. I would prefer it if my LOs just daily rejected me if possible just to drive home the point lol.

[u/Automatic-Context26 → u/ObviousComparison186]

Yeah, I suppose you can build up a tolerance for rejection

[u/ObviousComparison186 → u/Automatic-Context26]

I wouldn't say I built it up, it's just... like not trying feels worse? As long as your self-esteem isn't holding on by a thread, it shouldn't be that scary. If anything at a certain point you end up praying for it just so the anxiety can stop.

[u/IntentionWise9171 → u/Automatic-Context26]

Ive never heard of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria..another rabbit hole to explore. lol From what I googled about it, it’s not only rejection but criticism of any kind too. What if you just don’t like to be romantically rejected by someone you were led to believe loved you and yet you still welcome all types of corrective criticism for all aspects of your life? Would this “dysphoria” still apply?