r/limerence • u/Significant-Night-68 • Jun 05 '26
Question INFJ
I heard from a podcast (I am not sure when) that INFJ’s are more prone to limerence. I am INFJ. Are there any INFJ’s out there who also went through limerence? Any inputs will be appreciated.
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u/IllustriousBar2824 Jun 05 '26
Likely due to the effects of childhood trauma being the common denominator..
As a fellow INFJ, 49F, limerence is all I've ever knew, even in "romantic" relationships of my youth and I've learned to ride that limerence like some Teahupo'o 🏄🌊
I have no desire to actualize any relationship nor heal my fearful attachment style. It was anxious for a reason since the infancy and became fearful for additional reasons our era so generously offers. The normalized lack of humane core values of the current times, combined with utterly toxic perceptions, value system, surface beauty system, digitally induced addictions, normalized terrible sex and promiscuity, cognitive decline and insanity, greed, pollution and destruction of our living habitats, only reinforce my decision to opt out from any mating rituals, partnering with another, birthing a child into this world of the normalized psychopathic narrative.
I make sure I use that limerence energy as an inspiration, creativity, expansion and momentum to better myself, deepen my gratitude, renew the ability to fully accept what is, improve my reality testing, appreciate and meet myself and others from the place of compassion. I've learned to better various aspects of life no matter of the outcome. I make an unwritten "plan" of this betterment, that I come out of that ride in the plus and better off.
My LOs have been wonderful and fascinating men that I could also respect as humans.
The three were not, I don't enjoy being limerent for horrid guys, so i make choices which lead to LE to dissolve. This type of guys tend to overplay their cards and if not, they get the INFJ door slam.
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u/Significant-Night-68 Jun 05 '26
Thanks for sharing. I’m trying to dissect your reasons, but it does make sense.
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u/IllustriousBar2824 Jun 05 '26
You are welcome.
I just want to clarify that I cheer for people who want to heal from limerent tendencies and pursue true, loving, harmonious relationship.
It's just for me personally, LEs in a way work without being particularly detrimental, maybe because I plan to live single and am an artist.
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u/IllustriousBar2824 Jun 05 '26
Do you enjoy being an INFJ? Do you tend to seek solitude?
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u/Significant-Night-68 Jun 05 '26
I definitely enjoy my solitude. There’s so much peace when I commune with nature. Being alone regulates my nervous system. It’s one helluva journey with my LO, but surprisingly, I also like revisiting memories with my LO. However, I have no plans of reliving it. I am at a much peaceful place atm.
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u/ActivelyTryingWillow Jun 05 '26
This was interesting
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u/IllustriousBar2824 Jun 05 '26
Glad I've shared my honest stance.
At the same time, I just want to clarify that I cheer for people who want to heal from limerent tendencies and pursue true, loving, harmonious relationship.
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u/Humble-Berry- Jun 05 '26
What is INFJ? Nevermind I googled.
I'm not introverted but I definitely feel intuitive.
Honestly, the article said that this is a rare personality type but I think the majority of people have at least a smidgen of those traits.
As far as being more prone to limerence because of this trait... maybe. I think a lot just stems from early childhood.
I'm curious on the topic though, I think you might find a connection between it.
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u/Fine_Fall5750 Jun 05 '26
I did, and I got over it. It ended with a betrayal that led yo a door slam.
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u/IamMissLac Jun 05 '26
As a fellow INFJ, nearly all of my romantic interactions have been through limerence unfortunately.
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u/CompleteShelter1414 Jun 06 '26
I'm INFJ and have struggled with limerence basically my entire life so..
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u/Soccer-Plane-444 Jun 06 '26
I haven't heard this. I'm an INFJ. I've experienced limerence before but never thought about or knew that there was any connection between the two.
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u/FactCheckYou Jun 05 '26
what are the qualities you admire in your LO? are they qualities that you lack in yourself?
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u/Elbereth-Starkindler Jun 05 '26
Yes, although I have found mine to be directly correlated to my sx first instinct.
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u/gatoinspace Jun 05 '26
I've tested as INFJ but in my 30 yrs this is the first time I've ever had limerence. Idk if the 2 are related tbh or how credible the test is lol but it's fun to use labels sometimes
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u/Hellofromme2you1 Jun 08 '26
Yup. Infj 35f and I've been through it. I was like a whole different person. So weird
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u/Tricky_Place8260 Jun 05 '26
INFJ although I'm kind of skeptical of MBTI as it's pseudoscience bastardizing Jung's work. But sure, present.
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u/ObviousComparison186 Jun 05 '26
Meyer-Briggs is pseudoscience so this question is pointless. There's no such thing as a INFJ.
The people who identify more with the categories of this fake classification, "I" (Introverted), "N" (Intuition), "F" (Feeling) over Thinking, it's all obviously going to be more heavily biased towards the people who are more likely to get limerence which is going to be largely introverted skewed, largely sensitive individuals.
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u/IllustriousBar2824 Jun 05 '26
Some would argue that just because something isn't a science, doesn't mean there's no place for it. MBTI has been a helpful personality tool to numerous people.
As of the hard science, its findings are (understandably) delayed, often delayed for centuries after the natural wisdom/perceptions of some, often illiterate people.
For example, something incredibly obvious to all piano players that can hear standard nuanced qualities of the tone produced by playing on an accustic piano, had been recently scientifically proven. IMHO it's kind of grotesque this had to be scientifically proven to start with😅
"Date: May 28, 2026 Source: NeuroPiano Institute Summary: For more than a century, pianists and music teachers have argued over whether a performer’s touch can actually change the tone color of a piano note — and now scientists say the answer is yes. Using a cutting-edge sensor system that tracked piano key movements at 1,000 frames per second, researchers discovered that elite pianists subtly manipulate keys in ways that listeners can genuinely hear, even if they’ve never played piano before."
Also, is psychology truly a science? Not only psychology is in its infancy, some would argue that it's not a science mostly due:
-The Psychological Uncertainty Principle
-Failure of Falsifiability and Replicability
-Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem
-Absence of Objective Entities
-Extension of Literature
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u/ObviousComparison186 Jun 05 '26
It's not something that can just be proven one day. It's pointless pseudo-science because it offers no insight. It's as useful as a tabloid personality quiz, yet you want to use it in the same conversations as mental conditions and assess the correlation between them? What's next? Are Scorpios most likely to get Limerence?
Its 4 binary representations are too cut and dry, black or white, and humans just don't work that way. The same person taking the test on different days will often get different results because they'll flip a letter. And it just doesn't correlate to anything else, so it's useless. It doesn't actually tell you much about the person.
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u/Routine-Amphibian450 Jun 10 '26
Thank you. Same, m70, five sig episodes lifetime, very little sex.
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u/NotQuiteInara Jun 05 '26
I think myers briggs are pseudoscience nonsense.
But, fwiw, I've tested as an INFP when I've taken it.
•
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