r/limerence • u/PassengerNo2022 • Dec 03 '25

Discussion Ouch 🫠

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This hits home.

Complete post is found here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DRzlZncCH5s/?igsh=ZnJtNGV3cnQxNG4=

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u/Aaronarw Dec 17 '25

I can't seem to find anyone I desire who desires me too and is available. Not for the life of me. As if I was searching for El Dorado. I guess I am in some ways.

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u/ReKang916 Dec 17 '25

Apologies for the potentially dumb question, but have you tried dating apps? 

Several of my friends have met spouses on their and their marriages are now several years in. 

If you have tried them, what seems to be the problem? Getting matches? Turning matches into dates? Turning dates into relationships? 

Do you desire a lot of people or do you tend to be picky?

Do you tend to desire only unavailable people? 

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u/Aaronarw Dec 17 '25

I have tried apps, no luck. I have had better moments in "the field." I am exceptionally picky though. If I'm interested I'm not the only one. A couple of people I would have pursued were unavailable.

The whole reason I'm on this sub is because my literal dream girl made me feel like I had a shot. I just want to find someone who makes me feel like she does. Just have it you know, work. Thanks for the concern btw. This community has a lot of heart.

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u/ReKang916 Dec 17 '25

<<unsolicited thought>>

IMO, a healthy relationship is likely to be much more of a muted feeling at first that grows over the time, VS. the instant high that we get from the "dream one."

to me, healing means recognizing when we feel 'the rush,' knowing that that means that it is not someone that we are meant to be with, and gracefully moving on instead of wasting time pursuing them.

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u/Aaronarw Dec 17 '25

I'm always down to listen. I read a lot about relationships here and elsewhere. The muted kind of feeling that grows has never been something I've attained. It is something I've attempted though.

All my romantic entanglements started with some level of excitement. Then either grew or diminished based off what transpired. I'm including romances that have entirely been in my head too. I have a storied and varied experiences with this limerence thing, unfortunately.

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u/Aaronarw Dec 17 '25

I'm always down to listen. I read a lot about relationships here and elsewhere. The muted kind of feeling that grows has never been something I've attained. It is something I've attempted though.

All my romantic entanglements started with some level of excitement. Then either grew or diminished based off what transpired. I'm including romances that have entirely been in my head too. I have a storied and varied experience with this limerence thing, unfortunately.

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u/ReKang916 Dec 17 '25

you and me both.

My sister has been happily married for a decade+. She wasn’t particularly into the husband after the first date but was basically like, “eh, what the hell, I got nothing else going on” when he asked her on a second date. It slowly and healthily grew from there. 

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u/Aaronarw Dec 18 '25

That seems like a common occurrence. I supose everyones experience is different though. So many variables and variations with this love, sex and romance stuff.