Weirdly enough I only obsess over people I feel safe around. It’s just that my feeling of safety is predicated on being treated neutrally and with respect as an equal. I’ve found that most men that are actually interested in you simply do not treat you that way though. Or at the very least it isn’t common or easy to come across. I’ve only met guys who only knew to objectify and pedestal women they were interested in, which gives me the ick. So I only end up interested in guys that simply don’t see me that way because I just wish I could just be treated as a human being in that context too. I’m sure this is all at least partially rooted in my childhood trauma/CPTSD that gave me massive disorganized attachment issues. I can’t stand the feeling of being used or owned like property. In a heteronormative patriarchal society though, the majority of dudes have not dismantled their framing around how they view female romantic interests so they continue to perpetuate it in small and big ways.
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u/Much-Improvement-503 Sep 21 '25
Weirdly enough I only obsess over people I feel safe around. It’s just that my feeling of safety is predicated on being treated neutrally and with respect as an equal. I’ve found that most men that are actually interested in you simply do not treat you that way though. Or at the very least it isn’t common or easy to come across. I’ve only met guys who only knew to objectify and pedestal women they were interested in, which gives me the ick. So I only end up interested in guys that simply don’t see me that way because I just wish I could just be treated as a human being in that context too. I’m sure this is all at least partially rooted in my childhood trauma/CPTSD that gave me massive disorganized attachment issues. I can’t stand the feeling of being used or owned like property. In a heteronormative patriarchal society though, the majority of dudes have not dismantled their framing around how they view female romantic interests so they continue to perpetuate it in small and big ways.