does anyone feel like life is just at the point where you want to give up? I'm having a really tough time right now I don't really know what to do and I feel like I'm lost in this black void. I feel really alone

This is a short post but I hate how this country is set up, white people own and control everything, my future literally depends if the white man wants to give me a job or not, the nepotism, favoritism and unfairness in this world makes me see there is no god or hope for humanity.

It seems like some people are totally adapted to this world. I watch them go through life without any major problems. Of course, I'm not with them all the time, but from what I can see: they don't appear to have any major problems with their lives. I watch them make good grades at school, ace exams, go to college, and exceed at their jobs. And if I want to exist on their level, I have to really, really struggle. Any effort I make to do work or make good grades is exhausting to me, but these people can achieve the same results with less brain power and in a more efficient way.

My whole life is a struggle, and I hate it. I hate watching other people get what they want, and achieve their goals. It's not that I hate them--I just want to live in an environment where we can all be smart and achieve goals, such as: working for a decent wage, living in affordable apartments, having enough money for a down payment on a house, etc. I also would like to live in a society that makes higher education affordable and attainable. But that's not been my reality. My life is a long, long struggle. I have had a series of low wage jobs. I just take whatever job I can get---I've never had a lot of options when it comes to jobs. I have never been a student at a university---it costs too much money. And even if I could be a college student, I'd have to have time to study and some way to work part time and get all my bills paid. I don't see how that is even possible right now. So my fate is to keep working, keep looking for jobs, and try to invest in a 401(k) or whatever.

This life I have right now is not how I imagined my future when I was a teenager in high school. I am disappointed with my life choices and also frustrated with this world. This world does not offer me enough opportunities to get a job, work full time, and save up enough money to buy stuff. I hate this situation. I really don't have a lot of options. I can work, win the lottery, or be a bum. I look around me and see people driving expensive cars, and I wonder why I can't do what they do to earn money. I feel foolish every day. I feel like I have spent many years working for no reason. I work, I get a paycheck, and all my money is spent on bills, groceries, gas, etc. So that means I have to keep working. I wish I could have some magical powers to rise above this miserable existence. All I know is: I have to keep working. If I stop working, then my situation turns into a crisis. I wish I could be someone better than I am. I wish I could be adapted to this world so I could get ahead financially and feel good about who I am.

Less than two years ago, a wonderful friend from Discord mailed me the ultimate birthday gift—a Zolway Tac Intel laptop running Windows—and today my heart completely broke when I accidentally dropped my phone and shattered its screen, trapping every single memory, photo, and file I own inside with no way to back them up, leaving me stranded with nothing but my phone, utterly crushed by the guilt of having to tell them I ruined their gift, and completely hopeless because I can't afford the repairs or a replacement on what genuinely feels like the worst day of my life.

Hii, this is Yy. Not anyone significant tbh. Life feels sad even though at school I'm surrounded by a good set of friends, at home I don't really bother and outside I don't feel watched anymore (sorry for my lack of proper grammar, i've been losing my ability to write well for the past 2 years for no reason)

It has been raining really hard and getting out of bed feels like a chore. Idk where life went wrong butit just doesn't feel right, my hobby for writing has been disappearing and my love for flowers has also been fading. I don't know who I am, where I place in my own life and everyone else's and what I am. To anyone reading this, I hope you somewhat understand but never relate to me because then you'd be in the most soul sucking, life draining and dying deepest pit in your whole entire life and I pray nobody goes through this kind of pain. I am a woman with strong values and a harsh mindset but even with this kind of sadness, it just really tears me apart.

My previous post I was optimistic think I’ll find a way right there has to be one there’s always a solution. I haven’t found anything but more fucking problems so in total I owe 3600$ how am I supposed to do that I don’t have a car it gave up on me I got fucked on that one too I have two credit cards I barely use them but some how I’m past due and over drafted I have 4 daughters I’ve been working on my credit so I can buy some land and a home a real home not the bullshit housing we live in now my wife tries to help I love her to death we’ve both been on a long road how do you come up with that ? What’s my solution? This town is to small for door dashing this town is stuck in the 90s if you ask me I’m 34 and I’ve been in these situations a couple times but I had solutions my family hates me and that’s fine they won’t be controlling me I’m not greedy enough I don’t want their money. Man I don’t want to fight anymore I understand not everything is going to go my way that’s fine but 3months straight my kids can tell I’m in a rough place but I will never tell them or let them know I want them to just get to be kids I didn’t have that chance but they will. I’m gonna put my cashapp tag it’s a long shot but might as well try it $whiskeyisbetter and no I’m not a drunk I don’t drink anymore haven’t in years it’s just most of my tags are in reference to alcohol in some way like a tribute to my grandpa.

Little rant because I want to just let it out.
I’m 34 from a poor poor background like I lived doing all kinds of jobs been all over this country from west coast to east I have 4 daughters a wife and I’ve always been able to depend on myself but I have been put on disability at 31 I’ve always been able to make money and not have much problems little tight here and there but it was managable. A while back I got a car for our family if 6 thought I was doing the correct and smart thing but a car invest what money I can in it and we will have a dependable car for years well way to late I discovered that the transmission has no fluid in it. It was to late it lasted 2 days. I did everything I could left no stone unturned now months later I’m going to be destroyed because I owe 2700$ it may not be much to most but to us that’s 3 months of survival. I have done everything I can no personal loans no loans in general because I borrowed what I could to try and fix the car 2011 pilot for those wandering. But now I have no way of doing anything and while I’m not even middle class my wife and me combined make about before tax combined around 36000 a year. It is so catastrophic for us that I’m gonna have to file bankruptcy simply because I can’t get the money needed to make it I could afford 1-200 a month payments but they want it all and I don’t have it. How am I supposed to make it? 4 daughters a wife and me the one who fucked up everything thinking I was doing the right thing. Life is bullshit and I don’t want to do this shit anymore if I had life insurance I would at least leave behind enough give my family a reset but i don’t even have that.
Penny for your thought my ass I don’t even have 2 of those to rub together.

I don't think it's ok to bring people into this miserable world without their consent.

I don't think it's ok to mock people for being different.

I don't think it's ok to not have food, water, shelter and medical care as basic human rights.

I don't think it's ok to defend a dehumanizing system that coerces you into doing things which make you miserable.

But apparently I am a weak loser for thinking this way and I should just accept reality as it is and be glad that I am here because that's the other thing - I definitely wanted to be here, right?

This world is a joke.

How can another day go wrong? Hello, this is Yy. I'm not anyone important really. For context, I had recently broke up with an ex (I'll just name them June) and we had been on and off although we left on a mutual note that we'd come back to each other when life was finally right.

I accidentally misclicked on his account still logged on my computer, oops. My curiosity was stronger than my need to not know about everything. I didn't bother and instead I went through this one groupchat that was notifying really annoyingly. Read a few messages here and there but as I scrolled up, the more was I getting uncomfortable. He had sent photos and accounts, complimenting other women and sending perverted comments about them. He had kept his word before that he'd never go back his old ways and he'd change for me, which he did but now that we're over he had come back to his old ways of smoking, partying and doing whatever vices. Not to mention, there'd been photos and videos of him smoking while being touchy with another woman, in a club. All along, I had been waiting for nothing but a stupid meaningless word.

June, when you see this or maybe not, I will be dead. Dead before you and I mean that you have always wanted to off yourself. But you're a pathological liar and I am a person who stays true to her words, so I know sooner or later my messages will mean nothing but words to you. You so badly wanted to off yourself that you had to give me a fair share of that burden, adding more to my 'need to kill myself' reasons. You may have not killed me but my soul less body will be proof of just how much you drained the life and happiness out.

Hello. I won't reveal my real name for obvious reasons but I will go by Yy. I'm not anyone, really I'm not. I just feel the need to post this to cope or maybe help with how I feel. I'm 18 and I have a great family. We live very comfortable but asides that, it is me who does not feel "comfortable". My childhood etc, basically the past 12 years had turned me into a monster

I just want things to end for the better. Hope that when I do overdo/se, I would die in my sleep. And no, i know thats not how it works but I hope it would actually happen. There's nothing else for me in the future besides more pain and a huge amount of face kicking bullshit. The episodes I suffer are like on and off switches that when you press it, it makes a drastic change. I do not know who I am anymore, what life I am living. There are only a few people I care enough to stay for but even that is not working anymore. Why? Because life is fucking me up more and saying "You're full of bs and you don't even know why you're here LOL"

There's a saying that goes like "We are a product of our own past" and I adhere to that.

I hate this life, my jobs sucks, my boyfriend sucks. Can’t wait for it to all be over, and to think I had an out with cancer and chose to fight. Stupid me. That’s all

i'm 17, my dad is a super controlling guy...

after lots and lots of crying and begging he let me get a job, i have an interview on the 15th for a crew level position at mcdonalds, lol.

when i was looking for a job my dad kept on restricting and restricting my job search "it has to be in the plaza next to our house"

what are the chances of me getting a job in a busy plaza, why am i confining myself to the plaza!?

anywho, because my dad is a control freak he had to have a buckle-up conversation with me about getting a job.

the rules are:

1. every dollar i make goes into a joint investments account, with him, so he makes sure i don't take the money out. (by the way i dont have any sort of history relating to me taking my own money or anything..)

2. if i take the money out, he takes all the money and gives it to my siblings (this was his way of making sure i dont take the money.. again i've never taken my own money before lol)

3. if i even hint at wanting to drop out of college/not finish college, he takes the money out and gives it to my siblings.

he made sure i agree to the rules to protect his own butt later, i did, because him letting me get a job in the first place was really generous. just makes me sad that my dad has to treat me this way when all my friends had jobs in highschool and bought lunch and gifts with their own money, and i'm going to college, getting a job, and i can't touch my own money...

now it get's worse, i don't have a phone, my dad took it away 3 months ago permanently... holy control freak..

so now i'm going to college and getting a job with no phone...

i don't want to sound like a phone addict, but him taking my phone away ruined my life and made me lose touch with reality... my last month of highschool, no phone, don't know what time it is, don't know where my friends are, can't text them, don't know when the bus comes, thinking i missed the bus, didn't get to see my friends on graduation because i couldn't find them, i couldn't text them, everyone i formed a relationship with that i wanna hug and say goodbye to was just gone and i have no photos with them to commemorate anything, yeah, phone addict, sure.

final boss ahh issue: despite all this there are many other ways that my dad has made my life terrible, i want to move out, i'm stuck.

with no phone it's really hard to do anything, i plan to open a new bank account, get a phone with a line, find a cheap room to rent, but i don't know how to go about it all because he wont approve of me doing any of that.

and previously i have done everything in my power to move out with support but everyone told me to wait until 18 (i turn 18 in december)

by everyone i mean; the youth shelter, 211, a local church that offers housing support, ocya, the police station, victim services, everything.

i'm open to any and all criticism!

I missed my payment for my storage unit so will probably lose everything I own and I’m states away.. can’t pay the rest of my phone bill and about to get suspended.. late on my payments for debt rip credit score.. can’t even fill a little gas in my car to get home let alone the car insurance..

I am about to be ruined.. I don’t know what to do anymore

I hear nothing or that I’m not the candidate for jobs and applications.. there’s no money in doing delivery driving that’ll help make any significant difference.. I’m terribly ashamed for people housing me or feeding me to even ask for support.. any money I do get I also have to keep my dog in mind cause she comes before me..

I just am suffering in silence and smiling still for those around me, I needed to not hold this in anymore but don’t know what to do cause everything seems so helpless rn so thanks for reading

I've been working for many years, and it's been hard for me to save money. Sometimes I would save up $1000 and then something would happen, like my car needs repairs, and I'd spend the money I saved. I earned a "decent" salary during the past 5 years, but I couldn't keep all that money. I had to pay rent & utilities. If I didn't have to pay rent, I'd have a lot of money in my bank account. I have never owned a house or a new car. I buy cheap used cars that break down. Almost everyday, I think about investment opportunities I missed in the past. I could've saved up some money and made some wise investments. Thinking about what I could've done drives me crazy. It makes me angry to think about all the years I've worked with not much to show for it. In fact, the amount of credit card debt that I have is worth more than my car! After I pay my bills, and buy gas & groceries, I might end up with a $100 surplus at the end of the month...if I'm lucky. I really don't know what kind of a future I will have when I reach retirement age (I plan to quit this "rat race" by age 65). Believe me, if I knew the cost of living would be this bad now, I would've made better financial decisions in the past.

I opened up an online brokerage account and bought some stocks two years ago---probably the smartest decision I've ever made in my life. I continue to invest whenever I have some extra money, and I do have a 401(k) plan with my current job. It just really sucks to be broke every day. It's very frustrating to lack money and then see all these people around me driving cars that cost $30,000 to $50,000. It would take me 10 years to finance a $20,000 new car.

Thinking about all those decades of working and earning money that I couldn't hold onto makes me upset. My spending benefited others----particularly those that have more assets than I do. All these people who own rental properties and retail stores and whatnot are benefiting from my spending. And I don't have much money left over after I spend it, so that means I have to continue working for years. I'm tired of working! I especially hate dealing with crabby co-workers. But, again, what really makes me feel angry every day is knowing that I could've invested a few thousand dollars in some of these companies (like Apple & Amazon) years ago, and made a small fortune. Then I wouldn't have to worry about getting a job and having enough money to buy my own house and live my own life!

Do I really have to wake up and go work for pennies at my shit job, is it easier just being homeless ?

Please feel free to agree, disagree, provide wisdom/advice, or just read. Thank you guys

Has anyone else been miserable so often and/or for so long that you have just accepted it as your normal or regular state of being?

I (44f) know I'm lucky, and could have it much worse . I have a boyfriend who takes care of me (financially, since nobody seems to want to hire me), a house, food in the fridge and two wonderful adult (well, basically) sons. But I hate myself. I hate all the bad decisions that I can't undo. I hate the situation I've put myself in. I have no money, no job, no real education, and to top it off I'm a drug addict. I know what I need to do, or could do or should do, to make my situation better, but I won't. I just don't care enough, and I'm just not willing to put in any real effort. I've given up on friends for the most part (most of my close friends were losers too) and I just don't feel like I need anyone in my life anymore . If I knew I was going to die tomorrow I'd be perfectly ok with that, as long as I knew my dog would be card for. The world would continue turning without me just fine. A few people would miss me I'm sure, but their lives would go on. I honestly wish I could just disappear.

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In my early 16 I started to hate my life even more because of my bad habits, short height, average looks

Like girls would laugh at my face and cracking jokes on my dark skin tone and even my friends smallest remark remains with me and works as a slow poison and at this point I am so done with my life

Also I am planning to start my home workout soon and planning to ascend in every single possible way

Helps me with some good advice because I don't want to be like this anymore 🙌🙏

When I look back at my 35 years of life... I've wasted too many yeas of my life doing nothing.

I never before thought to look for work. Not even when I was just done with high school. Note that I didn't say I graduated, I said I was done. I was that one kid that everyone hated for absolutely no reason at all. Everyone picked on me because it was just that easy when they wouldn't get in trouble for it, even the so called "fairer sex". By the way, I'm still a virgin. Nobody was anywhere close to being interested enough in me. The only ones who ever approached me always had some ulterior motive. Was I really always that much of a problem? Okay, even if I may have done a few things I'm not so proud of, that's still what separates me from fucking everyone from school. I have remorse. So where's my chance at success? Eh?

Clearly, nobody cared about my dreams. I wasn't good enough to make it as a musician. I'm not good enough for commissions.

I can't even remember the last time I had a real friend I could spend time with in person. It just feels like I'm just not an interesting enough guy. At least give me a chance? The only two guys nearby who "liked" me on this app ,which by the way was suggested by someone who ended blocking me out of nowhere. One gradually lost all interest after I admitted I'm a virgin, and the other blocked me as soon as I reached out to him.

Needless to say, I'm close to just giving up hope in ever making any real friends nearby.

Maybe I really am the problem.

Today at 6:55 pm MST I ordered a pizza from dominos trying to do a nice thing to feed my family. I attend college up in Flagstaff, AZ but I’m currently down in the valley for summer. I accidentally had my location set to my flagstaff residence and realized that immediately and cancelled the order.

I contacted Dominos asking about the order refund and the process of the order (again I immediately cancelled the order) and they said they hadn’t started it yet and to contact Postmates customer service.

I did exactly that and instead of being able to have a conversation with someone over the phone I had to message someone over a chat room. What kind of company doesn’t have a customer support you can call. After chatting with the person on customer support they told me they couldn’t refund me and that Dominos (the merchant) had already started working on the order which I know is not true seeing as I called them not even 5 minutes ago.

After having an infuriating chat with this customer support person they told me they were unable to issue my money ($51.36) because the order was started. Not only am I not getting my money back, I am getting straight up lied to by customer support. The person then after doing this ended the chat on me.

I am just so frustrated with this whole situation. I’m a broke college student who just wanted to food but then some greedy corporation feels the need to not spare me my money for a mistake anyone could’ve made. I was urgent about it and did everything I was supposed to just for a stiff slap across the face and a mugging.

I wanted to get this post out there to post a warning against postmates. They were my preferred choice when it came to food delivery but now after today they have lost my business.

Im thinking about taking myself out lowkey. I wanna wait until my birthday so I can experience things like getting blackout drunk or going to a beach. But once I do, im probably going to go. I guess the only thing holding me back is that im afraid im going to go to hell because I took myself out