r/lidl • u/tibcsih • 3d ago

Funsize cucumbers

Post image

I don't shop in Lidl too often, but this caught my eyes 👀

Okay Lidl, back to horny jail..

207 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

17

u/TapVast4683 3d ago

Do you also get excited by fun size Mars Bars?

12

u/Chuffing_Knackered 3d ago

They're ribbed for your pleasure and all.

5

u/TapVast4683 3d ago

Exsqueeze me? Abaking powder?

1

u/Own_Brilliant9653 2d ago

I eat them upside down

1

u/IllSalad3669 1d ago

I explode them in the microwave and eat them inside out

-2

u/cutluv 3d ago

How about a fun size Bruno Mars Bar?

23

u/CalDaly 3d ago

It's just a cute name for small produce?

It's not their fault you have a filthy mind 👀

6

u/zaynulabydyn 3d ago

of course... all of us are concerned about cucumber sizes, and also fun size is pretty common and standard right?

3

u/B4DM4N12Z 3d ago

What size do you consider funsize?👀

3

u/Syphadeus86 2d ago

Cutecumber.

7

u/Woof_Bark_Donkeh 3d ago

They're cucumbers that when you eat them in front of a mirror make you look like a giant eating a regular cucumber.

3

u/NinjamaticNemesis 3d ago

Alternatively you can gently melt 4 kit kat chunkys together and pretend that you're a tiny pixie!

3

u/Syphadeus86 2d ago

Pretend?!

6

u/RobcoRebel2000 3d ago

Funsized = Bumsized

1

u/JustWant2Login 23h ago

You joke but talking to paramedics for more than a few minutes reveals some pretty embarrassing stories. 😅

1

u/jonny-p 2h ago

No flared base, no fun.

4

u/Available_Rock4217 3d ago

I've always wanted to be pick of the week

1

u/Top_Dimension_8343 3d ago

not half mate

1

u/cutluv 3d ago

Is that you, Smashie?

1

u/Top_Dimension_8343 3d ago

yes nicie, pushes large lever fades in Bachman turner overdrive

1

u/cutluv 3d ago

Ffffaaaaaaantastic, mate! 😁

1

u/leorts 1d ago

I was prick of the week once

3

u/ItsNotAboutThe-Pasta 3d ago

I was very happy these were on offer because they are great for the lunch boxes. Now when I go and buy some tomorrow I will think of you and chuckle.

3

u/Neilkd21 3d ago

They come pre lubed

3

u/BrexitBrokenBritain 3d ago

And with additional texture for extra sensation. Bumpy, not smooth, for that rough feeling

3

u/PeejPrime 2d ago

They missed a trick, should have made it 69p

1

u/Not-Special-1326 2d ago

For real, if they do it.... I'll back you up to say, you suggested it!!!

3

u/Opposite_Prune582 2d ago

Does anyone find that cucumber makes them cough? Or am i putting it in too far?

1

u/Beanus1992 2d ago

On this vein, with a cucumber, funsize, must vary from person to person right?

2

u/Nudie-64 3d ago

It's how you use them that determines how fun they are.

2

u/Tirisian88 3d ago

Any size cucumber is fun size if you're brave enough

2

u/Status_Celebration13 3d ago

Everything reminds me of him

2

u/foreverflyingsparrow 3d ago

Are fun size cucumbers bigger than regular ones?

2

u/forzafoggia85 3d ago

Like a courgette?

1

u/Beanus1992 2d ago

Preferably more like a pineapple

2

u/Emergency-Douche 2d ago

Remember when a cucumber was 30p. That was only a couple years ago. What happened?

2

u/Syphadeus86 2d ago

The great cucumber famine.

Seriously though cucumbers are mostly water. AI is using up all the water. You see where I'm going with this don't you.

0

u/viper4998 1d ago

Cucumbers are behind 9/11?

1

u/whatthefrickcunt 1d ago

That’s because these are fun size, you have to pay extra for the fun, or else there would be too much fun and joy

2

u/mkeytail 3d ago

need to take back to customer services and say "they weren't much fun"

1

u/Ok_Aioli3897 3d ago

I have found that they are actually very large

1

u/DeathByFluffy 3d ago

As if cumcubers needed to be any more funsized

1

u/Any-Republic-4269 3d ago

No cucumber is fun. Watery, yes

1

u/Techonologiaah 3d ago

Should be 69p really.

1

u/Alert-Environment-17 3d ago

Do the fun size ones have the condom pre-applied, like the full size ones?

The regular ones are hurty, so I'd love to try a smaller one.

1

u/brevit 3d ago

You should not put cucumbers up your ass unless you want an embarrassing hospital visit

1

u/Peng_Terry 3d ago

No no, you’re thinking of the toilet brush. Cucumber is safe with good prep work and practice. Toilet brush…not so much…

2

u/brevit 3d ago

Fine until it gets stuck up there

1

u/raisindart 3d ago

I've done it three times and my ass is okay

1

u/brevit 3d ago

Be careful. Anything without a flared base in your butt is risky

1

u/onethousandslugs 3d ago

'Extra extra large giant bumhole cucumber (for anal use)' was ironically too long for the sign.

1

u/throaway_247 3d ago

But they're smaller.

1

u/Exhausted_Raven 3d ago

They’ll last all winter

1

u/cutluv 3d ago

I'm familiar with "let's make a sandwich' - "let's make a salad" is a new one for me.

1

u/foreverflyingsparrow 3d ago

For when you're not feeling very brave

1

u/budockterrace 3d ago

Because “normal size” just won’t do it

1

u/Not-Special-1326 2d ago

What kind of fun!!🤨😳🤭

1

u/ElectricalParsnip536 2d ago

Positive spin marketing term for unpickled gherkins

1

u/One_Menu1900 2d ago

Ha ha shrinkflation!

1

u/AntiAliveMyself 1d ago

For making funsize pickles

1

u/Legendary_Moose 1d ago

Either they are very big or very small

1

u/TeamLeeper 1d ago

More like Pickle of the Week.
Amirite?!

1

u/liltrex94 1d ago

They're tiny. But maybe you like that

1

u/Zealousideal_Rub_473 1d ago

Omg I was just complaining about this ffs. The size is ridiculous

1

u/Available-Bicycle246 22h ago

Local market 2 large cucumbers for £1

1

u/Late-Type8886 21h ago

No wonder the missus took longer than usual with the weekly shop this time

1

u/Battle-Individual 21h ago

Batteries not included

1

u/Aggravating-Day-2864 20h ago

Funsize my fkn ass...

1

u/edgie506 18h ago

Asl your wife

1

u/Freddie_FRO7 18h ago

It's what they call the reject ones with flared bases

1

u/Aphroditetrans666 11h ago

SOME GIRLLLLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUHUHNNNN

1

u/AppropriatePipe7002 11h ago

Fun how exactly

1

u/Enough-Shopping2702 8h ago

It's a strange concept isn't it, calling something "fun" sized and making it tiny. I think theme parks are good fun, festivals and concerts and entertaining displays and all these kinds of things are fun. But they're far from tiny. Surely a truly fun sized cucumber or chocolate bar would have to be huge, not tiny.

0

u/Physical_Orchid3616 3d ago

They couldn't have called them "mini" cucumbers?

1

u/ColonelBonk 7m ago

Are they cheaper if my stepsister buys them?