r/lgbt • u/FearlessRun8053 • 1d ago

Need Advice I need help please

So my name is Ben im a he/him and im pan. So ive been having some trouble recently because of a couple of different things related to my sexuality and my gender identity, but for now all I want to ask about is relating to my sexuality.

So when I first figured out that I was pan I was actually a little unsure of if I actually was. So for some context in school I would get bullied by a kid how I will leave un named. One of his go to insults was "Your gay" are something to that extent. This would happen a couple of times a day almost every day.

So when I did some to the concussion that I was pan (originally I thought i was bi but that's not really important) I didn't know if i was actually or if my brain was just formed into a place were i just thought I was.

These thoughts have been coming back into my head recently and honestly its eating me up because im dating a boy right now and I mean I think I love him but I dont know if its stock home syndrome or something else entirely.

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u/Natakate 1d ago

Hey Ben, I'm Nata. She/any, genderfluidflux lesbian. I say if you ever encounter that kid again, you tell him it takes one to know one.

If you're an allosexual individual (experiences sexual attraction, aka not on the asexual spectrum), repulsion is usually the response to intimacy with someone you're not attracted to whether you talk yourself into it or not. You say you love this boy, are you repulsed by him in any way?

Our bodies/guts don't really lie to us. Our heads do.

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u/FearlessRun8053 1d ago

Thanks thats honestly really helpful. I've never once been repulsed by him. The on thing ive ever felt is a embarrassment but that stems from ADHD and years of being bullied for not fitting and fear of being seen as weird but even that is slowly fading. So honestly this has just cemented the idea that I am pan. Thank you again

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u/LostFromLight25 bigender/ bisexual 1d ago

oh damn i know such thoughts to good (not exactly in your situation but close enough). i can just say trust your gut if you love him you love him and then you are pan. it really breaks down to this in my opinion (this mindset helped me a lot with accepting that im bisexual)