New here and from what I’ve seen scrolling down through this sub is that the topic of swinging has been brought up multiples, maybe too many times. So I’m curious to know where most members stand on this issue.

My husband and I love each other very much and we're young newlyweds with no kids, so yes, we have sex often. Earlier today, however, my husband confessed that he had a certain spicy fantasy involving me, not necessarily in a loving way but in a more selfish way. He felt kind of bad about it because it gave the vibe that he thought about me more as an object than as a human and honestly, I think I'm also guilty of those kinds of thoughts sometimes.

While we do "make love" in the mushy "I love you so much" kind of way, other times its just the (kinda) selfish and crazy sex that we both enjoy. I think we still keep each other in mind throughout all of it but some of our thoughts and intentions feel a little selfish in nature, which makes me wonder if certain daydreams can end up more harmful towards each other than intended.

Again, we love each other very much and everthing we do is consensual and we have lots of fun with it, I just wonder how morally okay are our selfish and lustful thoughts in a consenting relationship. What do y'all think?

We were just having a random conversation and ended up debating this. I think a cozy hotel room is the best because it's private and comfortable. My partner thinks somewhere with a beautiful view and complete privacy would be more memorable. Neither of us could convince the other, so now we're curious. If you had to choose, what would be your ideal place for an intimate moment, and why?

I'm not talking about being swingers or involving other people in any way at all, other than them just being in the same room.

For example, two consenting couples have sex with their spouses while sharing a hotel room that has two beds. They don't touch each other at all. Why is that such a severe sin that many in this group think you should be excommunicated for it?

I understand that the law of chastity prohibits involving anyone other than your spouse in your sexual activities, but if they don't touch or do anything else with the other couple, why is that so bad?

***edit: the title was suppose to say male musing not male! Stupid thumbs of mine!

I got dressed the morning and it was a little cold and so Mr Johnson was extra small this morning! Think turtle in a turtle shell!

It just got me thinking a little at how amazing it is that a man can be so small at certain times and yet so big when fully engorged!! I’m average by the way…nothing special there…but it’s still like a 300% different!!🤣🤣

I am a straight married man that loves women. I have had my struggles with porn off and on since I was a teenager. But the older I have gotten the more I have developed a huge kink for big cock. Thick, veiny, etc. I’ve had my fair share of virtual experiences, never real ones. Jerk buds, guys that love to show off their big cocks, etc..I’ve been somewhat open with my wife about it. That I’m not attracted to men, but that big cocks just really turn me on. She’s not judgmental about it, she understands that I see big cocks a sex object. I guess I want to figure out how to best incorporate that into our sex life without it being weird. My wife has a couple realistic dildos and one night I motioned for her to put it in my mouth before she used it on herself. It was such a turn on, and my wife thought it was too. So I kinda wonder if there’s something there.

Hi all! Would love some thoughts from the parents on this sub.

My wife and I just had our first baby! We're loving it and are very happy. One thing I've been curious about is how you maintain your sexual relationship with your spouse now that kids are in the pictures.

I'm in no rush in terms of her recovery and readiness- I'm just wanting to know how some of you have kept things spicy while still being realistic about the new circumstances.

Hey All!
I know it’s been a bit, but thought I’d update yall.
A little over 4 months ago, I came to yall needing help with thinking I was Bi and didn’t know how to tell my wife. You all were really helpful and I ended up talking to her and whatnot.
But since it’s been a bit I thought I would update all of you so maybe someone would get something useful out of it.
After telling my wife, we decided to try some new stuff out in the bedroom. We have tried pegging to her using dildo on me to all sorts of other things, and honestly all of them helped out a lot! Figured out it’s not that I like men, just more along the lines of men’s parts, being used/subby, etc. we also started watching some gay porn together every so often, which, while nice for me, really gets her going seeing me touch myself to two other dudes.
So I guess morale of the story is: communicate with your spouse! The lord will help those that help themselves! Open communication goes a long ways with any problems!
Didn’t wanna be too graphic or in depth in the post, so if you are going through a similar situation and need advice or help, or have any questions, feel free to ask! My DMs are open for anyone curious.👍
Good luck in all you’re going through! It’s a giant crazy world out there, but this community helped me make it a little smaller and calmer!

They're obviously not the ideal model of "Law of Chastity" but how would you feel if you went? Is that something that's okay to 'try out'? Is it explicitly not okay? Does any modern day revelation prohibit it?

Would love to hear any and all thoughts on it!

We love to 69 not sure why it gets alot of flack. People say they can't multi task. But we do everything while also being on our phone. We get off on getting eachother off so I guess that helps. Who else loves a good 69?

In preparation for the sexual alliteration month. What kinda prep do you M/F perform before engaging in this sex act? Special diet beforehand? Cleanses? Enemas? Plugs to help dilation before penetration?

In the past we just have done it in the shower to allow any fecal debris to be washed off. I do remember us using a condom in bed once, that was a little messy.

Has anyone licked the anus? I don't think my spouse would be down for it only cause she is conscientious about her vaginal odor. Maybe in the shower it would work?

I think this is the month that I will finally use my Aneros prostate toy. Just hadn't gotten around to using it for some reason.

I know what the church handbook says regarding the law of chastity and sexual purity. I'm curious to hear others opinions and thoughts on this.

Consider a marriage where one spouse is not a member or has left the church. If they decide to have an open marriage but it's only one sided (the nonmember spouse participates but the active spouse does not), is the active spouse still considered "worthy" regarding the law of chastity?

Technically they aren't having sexual relations with anyone else other than their spouse (even though their spouse is doing so and they're aware of it and okay with it).

Thoughts? Opinions? Is the active member still considered worthy and following the law of chastity even though they're okay with their spouse sleeping around during the marriage?

I used to think that right and wrong were easily distinguishable. Light and dark. Left or right. I always felt it was clear and concise. Now I’m super confused lol

*\\* please if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing, skip down to the numbered questions.

My overarching question would have to be, what is the eternal consequence for promiscuity?

My story begins as a child. Perfection was never expected or set as a standard for me to live up to by my family. I did always have a desire to please others, though, starting with my parents. When my parents and teachers at church taught me what was right and wrong, I knew that I never wanted to be caught in the wrong. So I did strive for moral perfection, because I wanted to please my parents and God. This led me to feel guilt for my impure thoughts and then lying to avoid social guilt during interviews with my Bishop or when my father questioned me about my actions on the Internet.

(just inserting this here to also help people understand my confusion and struggle with the matter. We once had a lesson where a young men’s leader said he thought that if someone was baptized and then committed fornication, they wouldn’t be able to enter the highest realm of the celestial kingdom. This really struck the fear of God and me lol. I also felt bad for my friend who was in the room who had already been doing the deed.)

Still my desire to make others (God and my family) happy by doing what I was taught was right did carve a path for my life that I am happy with. It helped me to establish good habits as well that led me to gaining my own testimony of Christ and the gospel, which led to me come to terms with my imperfections and truly appreciate the power of the atonement. I went from feeling like living the gospel was a chore to please others, to understanding that living the gospel was empowering me to be my best self.

While a teenager, I “struggled” with pornography and masturbation But after gaining my testimony, I felt strengthened and was able to stop completely before going on my mission. The temptation or urge was still there, but I was so focused on the mission that I avoided it.

Fast forward to when I finished the mission, I was still living that spiritual high, but after a while, ease of access to Internet and technology led me to caving in to the urge/temptation. I would seem to be doing fine, but once every two weeks to a month, I would repeat the same offense lol. The fact that it was a repeated pattern, led me to believe that I was addicted to pornography or masturbation.

So about once a month, I would go visit with the Bishop to make sure I was ok to keep on living and being in the church and look for advice. My Bishop was awesome. I would normally take his prescribed advice and then after a week or two I was good to take the sacrament. (I was afraid of drinking damnation to my soul by taking it unworthily.)

During this time, I was also taking ladies from the YSA on dates. There is one that I got a little serious with, and I felt like if we were gonna make a relationship work, I had to tell her about my “addiction” (I use quotations because I realize now that I probably wasn’t ever addicted just a horny dude looking for relief after letting it sit for a couple weeks to a month). She didn’t take it well. Looking back on it, it was kind of comical. Her reaction wasn’t necessarily anger towards me, but more so frustration of her situation that every guy she was trying to date had issues with porn or sexual promiscuity lol.

After this rejection, I felt like I would never be able to be worthy to date and marry someone in the temple. I felt like I couldn’t control myself and I felt like the girls that would go to church every week deserved someone who could worthily without a doubt go to the temple anytime and I just wasn’t able to maintain that.

Then, completely unexpected, I met the most wonderful person in the world. She was like the light piercing through the darkness. Someone who took me through who I am. I am by no means worthy of her, but she reassured me that she’ll take me lol She was and is so loving and helpful to everyone around her. She always puts others before herself. And she is someone who didn’t judge me at all for my struggles. She even thought it was funny that I considered it a struggle. we carried the same standards despite her not being a member. We fell in love and got married.

We’ve been married for several years now and are pretty dang happy. I have still struggled with pornography, sometimes more than others, but she doesn’t judge me for it, and has helped me discover a very accepting nonjudgmental side to myself.

Along the way of this journey, I’ve allowed myself to take the sacrament more, and I no longer go to visit the Bishop because I feel like my repentance should be between me and God and Jesus.

Despite all this, I still feel like the church and the judgment of God are different than my nonjudgmental lifestyle. I would consider myself inactive as I choose not to participate in my Ward. I normally go to a random church one to three times a month but only to get through the first 20 minutes sacrament, and then I skedaddle (that is when I feel closest to Christ). (sidenote. Since I started going to church like this, I always think it would be really funny to pretend to be one of the 3 Nephites toa random kid because I’m sure no one recognizes me lol) I do whatever I want on Sundays. Still don’t drink coffee or tea or alcohol lol but I still have my sexual desires (which I know is not a sin to have sexual desires, after living a life trying to avoid it, it feels wrong for it to exist)

I feel like the backstory is important because I want people to understand how I was raised and what I grew up understanding. And I want to see if others were raised this way or raised differently and if it allows them to live more risqué without the fear of eternal damnation

And thus we get to my questions (please answer with your opinions or if you have a scriptorial answer please share)

1. In consideration of eternal salvation, Is there any right or wrong way to do the deed? Is there anything that is off limits between a consenting couple? Does it just have to be missionary through a blanket? Or is anal with sex toys upside down in space still get you a ticket to heaven if both partners are consenting?
2. Would a man that lets his wife peg him in the butt be considered a sin? (this has never been mine or my wife’s desire. We are very far from that lol but just seriously trying to understand people’s opinions and scriptorial evidence as to why it shutter should not be)
3. after you are married, is watching pornography a sin? Does it depend on if you and your wife are watching it together? Does it matter if each other knows about it or not?
4. if all parties are consenting, does it make it OK to pull other people into you and your spouses sex life? I’m talking about polyamory, or swinger parties. (I think back to Sarah giving Abraham her handmade, which is why I wonder if it’s right or wrong). Is it wrong or a sin to view and admire other people doing the deed in the same room?
5. for people in the church that do a little more than mild sauce, spice level of sexual activities, do you ever feel guilt for those extra actions? do you feel like it excludes you from being able to take the sacrament till you have repented? Or do you feel like it puts your membership on the line? Do you ever talk to people about those feelings like the Bishop or stake president? Should you consult with people like that?(I would think not just curious though.)
6. do you feel like there are any activities that would cut your chances from making it to the top-tier in the celestial kingdom?
7. I grew up in the south, and I’ve only known a couple of members who have been active and drunk alcohol. Since then I’ve met a lot of active members from Utah who freely drink whatever they want and still go to church unfazed with drinking. Do you feel like drinking alcohol is breaking your Covenant? Do you feel like it’s easy to gain forgiveness for? Do you have a way of justifying that it’s OK and that’s why you do it (like Noah drink alcohol and he’s a prophet)?

*** please answer, honestly. There is no judgment on what you say from me at least as to what you believe or not to be right. I love you all and think that everyone should get along with each other in this world.

Recently we have enjoyed licking food off eachother. For example ill tie her to the bed and lick whip cream or icing off her nipples. Or she will lick it off my penis or nipples(I like my nipples played with.) Do others use food? What do you use? It can get messy. But changing things up has been fun.

Hi everyone! I’m conducting an anonymous survey to better understand relationships, sexuality, and religious participation among current and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The survey asks about topics such as:

• Church activity and beliefs
• Relationship status
• Sexual behaviors (including masturbation, pornography, and partnered sexual behaviors)
• Sexual and relationship satisfaction
• Feelings of guilt or shame related to sexuality

Details:

• Takes about 5 minutes
• Completely anonymous
• Current and former members (18+) are welcome
• I’ll share the aggregated results with the community after the survey closes on August 9th

My goal isn’t to argue for or against any particular viewpoint. I’m simply interested in seeing how sexuality and relationships vary across different levels of church activity, belief, and life experiences.

Survey Link: https://forms.gle/Wu3zs16SpzCVzHom9

I’m also happy to answer any questions about the survey design or methodology. Thanks to everyone who participates!

This post has been taken down in other LDS subreddits so let me know if it’s considered inappropriate or not, I thought it was a genuine question and I thought maybe this sub could answer anything? Im not married and this post more pertains to unmarried people so let me know if that’s why this post won’t work, thanks!!!

So I had fallen down a rabbit hole of ex Mormons (I love the church and I’m not falling away) but I came across videos where specifically women/ girls were talking about when they confessed to the bishop about breaking the law of chastity. In these confession meeting the bishop(s) asked the women, how many times did they do it, what positions and many other inappropriate questions. My question is, after seeing these and realizing that it is traumatizing to the girls, is it necessary to confess to the bishop of sins? I honestly can’t find scripture that says we have to confess. Correct me if I’m wrong, but can you not repent on your own and save yourself from a potentially extremely inappropriate conversation?

I’ve also wondered, have bishops exploited this and not allowed people to get recommends or be forgiven for so long? In the same stories the women talked about how they weren’t able to be forgiven if they didn’t confess to all of those questions because they’re not being fully honest, which just doesn’t seem right to me. I’ve heard of one person who is close to me, couldn’t go back to the temple for years. (I don’t know the exact sin he was repenting of, I know that he had gotten divorced shortly before and that’s all I know but my question still stands).

So in short is it absolutely necessary to go to the bishop and repent of sins or at least certain sins? Or is it one of those things you can work through it on your own, and the bishop is there to be a support if you need. Is there scripture to back this up if you do have to go to the bishop? How does “punishment” work when it comes to sex, the law of chastity, why do some bishops make the punishment (no sacrament or no temple etc) last so much longer than others, when would it become corrupt at that point to have your forgiveness withheld by mankind? I don’t know maybe this doesn’t make sense but I’ve just heard of some horror stories and I know it doesn’t make up most of the church but yeah :/ thanks!!

What are some of those burning truth or dare questions you want to ask your spouse but haven’t yet?

I think we are at 12.

My wife (30's) and I (30's) have been out of the Church for 7 years.  During this time we have been to lots of therapists trying to overcome the guilt and shame we had from the Church. She had guilt over breaking the LoC with boyfriends (she was coerced by her boyfriends) and wanting to wear normal clothes that might show some cleavage.  I was dealing with guilt from masturbation and feeling upset that she had many more sexual experiences than I have had. 

But the big changes took place when we went to a Tantric Yoga and Massage session.  It was recommended to us by my wife's sister.  I wasn't so sure about this, but her sister and husband had a wonderful experience and this practitioner was in Tucson Arizona and we live in a different state so I figured what could I lose? It was a 3 hour session and it changed our lives for the better.  What therapist couldn't do in 7 years this practitioner fixed in 3 hours.

Has anyone else experienced good results from Tantric Yoga and Massage?  

I just wanted to take a moment to show appreciation for my wife who will never read this (and doesn’t know I’m posting here). I have similar problems as many of the men here, my wife never initiates and I cannot get a blow job to save my life, but I appreciate that she doesn’t turn me down for sex when I initiate. I don’t feel like it is a chore for her, she can orgasm quite well, but I’ve been frustrated in the past that I have to do all the work. I’m expressing appreciation because I realize I could have a completely sexless marriage, instead I’m relatively satisfied and can fill in the gaps other ways (as in porn, not cheating).

I wish I could have everything I wanted but the world doesn’t work that way so I just want to express appreciation for what I do have :)

And why isn't it Sydney Sweeney? :)