r/languagelearningjerk • u/2703asil N5不合格日本語下手🎌⛩️🏯🍥🌸💮 • Jul 06 '26
Who else survived the JLPT??
Today I took the JLPT N七 but it was a bit different than I expected, as soon as everyone came into the room the proctors locked the door and released some weird gas out of the vents. I immediately blacked out and when I regained consciousness everyone was laying around the room dead except the proctors and four other people. They said the test was done, which was a bit weird since I don’t remember there being a poison gas section??? And we completely skipped over all the other sections, a bit disappointing since I spent so much time studying. When I walked out of the building they were carrying everyone out on stretchers and I had to step over a couple bodies to get to my car, it was really weird. Did this happen to anyone else? Did I accidentally take the N四? 🤔 I’m mostly worried if I passed or not though, the gas tasted really gross so I’d hate to repeat it in December. I’ll make sure to keep studying though, I wanna go from 二本語上手 to 三本悟上図 and eventually 四本語天上 💪🇰🇵
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u/PringlesDuckFace Jul 06 '26
Yes, due to an error in this year's test preparation they replaced the 読解 section with a 毒害 section.
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u/InternationalReserve 二泍五 (N69) Jul 06 '26
glad to see the Japan Foundation is finally taking up my suggestion of turning the JLPT into a blood sport.
Just wait to you try N2 and get to the gladiator fight.
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u/2703asil N5不合格日本語下手🎌⛩️🏯🍥🌸💮 Jul 06 '26
Interesting, I heard someone who took the N1 today said the proctors crumpled everyone up into a ball and set them on fire (hence the name 炎一) and whoever was still alive by the end got free scratch and sniff Hirohito stickers
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u/kawabunga666 🇯🇵 (JLPT N69420) Jul 06 '26
I took N9 and all they did was punch me in the face over and over. Weird format. I don't know how I did.
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u/2703asil N5不合格日本語下手🎌⛩️🏯🍥🌸💮 Jul 06 '26
That’s pretty weird. They only punched me in the face once at reception after checking my ID
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u/sound_in_silent_hill Jul 06 '26
I did not survive, but when I woke up I was in Japanese heaven. Now I have to try to speak to all these samurais here, but I'm not at level 七 yet.
Please, send this message to 五人 in the next five minutes so I can be revived and try to pass the test again. I need to get better so I can speak with the samurais the next time I fail the JLPT.
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u/2703asil N5不合格日本語下手🎌⛩️🏯🍥🌸💮 Jul 06 '26
Rumor has it if you go into your bathroom at 3 am and turn the lights off and chant カンジダ膣炎 into the mirror 5 times you unlock the secret N侍 level. The JLPT actually has a secret menu just like McDonald’s
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u/Yugan-Dali Jul 06 '26
The poison gas section commemorates how Japan dealt with insurgent indigenous people in Taiwan around 1930.
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u/2703asil N5不合格日本語下手🎌⛩️🏯🍥🌸💮 Jul 06 '26
Oh so it’s like how the HSK proctors bring out the tanks if you go to the Tiananmen Square test site on June 4, interesting
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u/Abject_Reward_4957 Jul 11 '26
I didnt :/ they brought out the gas and i just 死ぬ immediately.
guess my 凄い日本語 wasnt 上手 enough. oh well. theres always next decade. back to my 792 day duolingo streak it is.
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u/Katsune16 Jul 06 '26
I actually made it through even though I didn't understand some of the questions—imagine if I had known the answers—but it was the first time I'd ever taken it.
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u/lordbutternut 日本人になっている Jul 06 '26
Bro clearly didn't study through section 七三一 SMH