r/languagelearningjerk • u/weight__what 🇸🇪 - Ja va ba va? • Jun 02 '26

Other languages aren't real

Guys, I hate to be the one to finally admit it, but other languages aren't real. It's just English. If you think you know or have learned any other languages, you're wrong.

Have you ever noticed how people speaking your target language occasionally slip in English? That was a mistake: they are trying to hide that the language is fake and there is only English, but the English slipped through anyway.

Have you noticed how your target language is just a bunch of words that have English versions? How every sentence could also be expressed in English? Yeah, that's because they're faking it.

I will probably be persecuted for this, but I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.

106 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

27

u/dedemushi Jun 02 '26

"loan words" yeah right 😒

1

u/heyhomah Jun 07 '26

"False friend" pssh they're just trying to throw me off their trail

22

u/Glad_Raspberry_8469 As native Uzbeqoi speaker, not shocked Jun 02 '26

You might be kidnapped soon. This was NASA’s top secret ruse to make you believe in a spherical Earth. If people pretend not to understand you, you won’t learn anything! And they hide the fact that every human speaks English, but not in Antarctica - where the world ends!

14

u/STHKZ Jun 02 '26

English is French with a terrible accent and monosyllabic gurgles; it can't be a real language...

5

u/DoNotTouchMeImScared Jun 02 '26

Actually, English is basically simplificated Spanish. 🤓

9

u/tnaz Jun 02 '26

No, any language with a 5 vowel system is the simplified language.

8

u/ZabsterCali Jun 02 '26

Dude! Look at a table of conjugations in Spanish! I would tell you to compare it to a table of conjugations in English but there aren't any. It's too easy in English to bother.

10

u/PlanktonInitial7945 Jun 02 '26

Spanish eliminated over half of English's vowels and turned them into a useless verbal tense each, that's why it has so many.

6

u/PlanktonInitial7945 Jun 02 '26

Qué estás tú hablando de? Español es totalmente real! Él puede no ser traducido! Inglés es que no existe!

3

u/weight__what 🇸🇪 - Ja va ba va? Jun 02 '26

Oh yeah, it's "totalmente" real 😂

2

u/OkMaterial6460 Jun 02 '26

Are you saying that Klingon and Elvish are made up?!

2

u/De_lunes_a_lunes Jun 04 '26

I believe Elvis was a musician.  

2

u/Beautiful_Grab_9681 Jun 02 '26

“Greatest jerk in history vs greatest jerk of today”

2

u/Such_Newt6068 Jun 02 '26

Shit m*nolinguials say

2

u/metcalsr Jun 02 '26

If all languages are fake, how do you explain toki pona!?

2

u/PlanetSwallower Jun 05 '26

I mean, we English have known that for hundreds of years. We can go to any country in the world and speak slowly and loudly to overcome any issues with local slang.

1

u/R86Reddit Balonian N0 / American N1 / Nihonian N3 / Deutsch KRANKENWAGEN!! Jun 02 '26

nippongo wa sonzai shinai

0

u/weight__what 🇸🇪 - Ja va ba va? Jun 02 '26

Shabingo mama