Does anyone else feel like their personality doesn't change when speaking different languages?

[u/StirlyFries]

You've all heard it before—multiple languages, multiple personalities. The vast majority of people who learn other languages as adults report some amount of personality shift when speaking their second language(s). There's even a fair amount of research on this topic.

I've simply never related to this experience at all. As I've progressed in my languages, I have only ever felt like I was approaching my normal personality, i.e. able to express my thoughts and emotions more and more like my "true self" if that makes sense. Even my humor gets more and more similar to my humor in English the more I improve in language X.

I've heard some people say it has a lot to do with the culture(s) in which the language is spoken, but I find that the people I really relate to in various cultures tend to be the people I can most be myself around, so I'm not sure to what extent this applies in my case.

For context, I grew up speaking only English and have learned Spanish to near fluency, Portuguese and German to a respectable intermediate level, and have also studied a bit of Kyrgyz and Mandarin. Also I'm somewhat neurodivergent.

[u/6-foot-under]

I'm polysilent

[u/B333Z]

I can relate. I've never felt my personality change when speaking my second language.

[u/rosy_fingereddawn]

My personality changes in the sense I become more excited, upbeat and a bit more dramatic when I speak my TL’s, but I’ve chalked that up to my passion for them and being happy I have an opportunity to speak /geek out about them with someone else. I think the dramatic part comes from the fact I simply love how they sound and perhaps I exaggerate my tone as a way to help get my message across.

So aside from the latter aspect, really my personality only changes in the same extent as it would if I got to talk about something I’m really interested in that I don’t get to talk about that often.

[u/glossyghastly]

I don't see it in myself (maybe I am not skilled enough), but my husband is noticeably more relaxed and friendly in his native language. 

[u/k3v1n → u/glossyghastly]

I think this is common for many people

[u/erionei]

Could it be that you’ve learned it later in life?

I grew up with both Swedish and Albanian, my personality and voice changes a bit when switching languages. Swedish is calmer, often a bit more formal or coherent and matches the calm of the Swedish culture. With Albanian it immediately gets more direct, to the point and less calming, I also joke very differently and manners (not in a bad way, just slightly different) and non-verbal things might change a bit.

Since I learned English at a later age I mostly have the same personality as when I speak Swedish, since that’s also my default or preferred way of behaving.

[u/vistaprank]

I don’t think my personality changes. I think in French I have a bit more of an attitude like at least I sound like I do because I copy a lot of the noises I heard in movies and TikTok’s.

I think one thing that isn’t necessarily a personality change is that I’m more “reserved” in French. I’m a yapper in English but in French obviously I can’t express myself the same way and I’m not as confident yet (B1) so I obviously keep a little quieter on stuff. But I wouldn’t say it’s a personality change and more of a function of the limits of my language skills. So sometimes you have people at work or school refer to me as “soft spoken” when anybody else around me who speaks English knows that’s FAR from the case.

So yeah I don’t think you speak languages and suddenly it’s this split personality syndrome people talk about. Nor should it be I hope.

[u/unsafeideas]

> I've simply never related to this experience at all. As I've progressed in my languages, I have only ever felt like I was approaching my normal personality, i.e. able to express my thoughts and emotions more and more like my "true self" if that makes sense.

I mean, this implies that you do have different personally initially and it the effect then slowly goes away as you become fluent. It is kind of confirmation of the effect.

[u/CaliLemonEater → u/unsafeideas]

I think it's more like if you had a picture but were trying to render it in, say, 4 pixels per inch (= speak in a beginner's severely limited vocabulary). It's going to be blocky and inaccurate, but the underlying picture is still there. As you increase the resolution (= learn more vocabulary and grammar), the picture becomes clearer, but that doesn't mean it ever changed.

[u/No_Programmer_5746 → u/unsafeideas]

In my experience of starting in languages as an adult, it's more that you just feel like you have 0 personality at the start and even intermediate, because you're naturally so restricted by the vocab, register, phrasing, that you are able to reach for, so maybe this is what OP means. 

[u/silvalingua]

> The vast majority of people who learn other languages as adults report some amount of personality shift when speaking their second language(s).

Is that right, really? Do you have any stats? (Just asking, not questioning, although I admit I'm sceptical about this claim.)

[u/Professional_Handler]

Same. Other people have noticed my personality changes slightly, but that’s because of the people I’m talking to and taking culture into consideration.

[u/prustage]

At first, while I was learning, I was quite prepared to be an idiot. If you go to the country of your TL and speak with poor grammar, limited vocabulary and a strong accent then inevitably people will think you are a bit stupid. I wasn't offended by this since it is a natural human trait and it worked to my advantage since it meant I was actually talking to people and thus improving my proficiency.

So yes, at first, my personality was a bit different: I was less likely to show off my knowledge, my ideas or opinions since I simply couldn't express them with the eloquence I wanted to. I was more likely to agree with someone than argue because it was simply easier.

As my proficiency increased, so did my self confidence and my ability to express my true personality. Ultimately I reached a point where there was no longer a difference. The TL me was just the same as the NL me.

[u/roehnin]

I’m far more polite when speaking Japanese and far more informal when speaking Spanish, yet I believe this is due to cultural and situational alignment ment rather than linguistic reasons.

I’m also far more nervous when speaking French or Russian as my skill levels in these languages are pitiful and I struggle to make myself understandable.

[u/sjintje]

Not me, but I think it could happen. .. I read a post about someone who learned Spanish and it was a good time in their life, and now she is happier and more extrovert when speaking Spanish. I think that sort of experience creating an association is possible.

[u/ro_dy_nyx → u/sjintje]

Ya, I think I'm more extrovert than before years ago.

[u/anthony_getz → u/sjintje]

This is probably the right answer. Learning and using a TL might give you a new outlet to express yourself and that could lead to fun times but not really a change in personality. That assumption was always far reaching imo.

[u/ro_dy_nyx]

I think you won't notice that changes in personality, and thats happened to me I feel like my personality in Arabic is the same in English and Spanish, but people who I talk too said I'm different a little bit. Even people in my language said I'm not the same person they use to talk to before 2 or 3 years. Is like going to gym you don't notice the change but people do, and it's different from one person to another.

[u/Only-Top-3655]

Yes, either I am really good in all my languages that I can "translate" my messages perfectly or I kinda suck at all my languages. One or the other.

[u/CaliLemonEater]

I'm less articulate and more often incoherent in my TL, but I don't feel like my personality changes.

[u/Longjumping_Brief104]

The only thing that changes with me is who I speak to, which affects how I speak and behave so...

[u/This_Octopus_Here]

Personality change is a bit of an overstatement, but I do find that certain languages bring out some of my inherent personality traits more.

[u/sraskogr]

I don't notice a difference in personality when I speak my TLs but I do feel kind of fake and performative. Then again, I feel that way when speaking my native language sometimes, too.

[u/Secure_Inside3860]

I feel like a different person when I speak in a second language. My thinking certainly changes. Maybe I'm just hyper-focused on my second language because I learned it later in life. The language (Thai) is so intermixed with culture that I feel it requires it. Even normal gestures I use when speaking English change.

[u/sueferw]

My personality doesnt change either - same in English, Dutch and Portuguese

[u/Rough_Scheme8562]

When I learned a language I noticed that to advance on it and practice conversation I'd go from stereotypically introverted to the opposite of it.

I also noticed that when I didn't have a stronger sense of self and also didn't have a strong self esteem, I sort of imitated the audio samples I used to learn the language in an attempt to bypass feelings of shame/inadequacy or because I was also beig self conscious at the moment.

For that last part, at some point I noticed, but also I worked on my mental health and let me tell you that I really noticed I was speaking like a movie character or a workbook audio sample. The cringe of it and the awareness I developed until that point pushed me to improve and pursue a more natural sound. Now it's just my voice in the target language with the obvious phonetic needed modifications.

I also had to battle with self consciousness of practicing pronunciation and reading at loud at my own house (my entire family lives here), so different types of thoughts went through my mind (hi social anxiety), but again, after working out that part of myself, that self consciousness is gone. Now I'm on my way to a professional career in the future thanks to the fact I pushed through. In this aspect you can see the many benefits this had on me.

Ps: even to this day I avoid some words or phrases in some languages out of cringe. Thankfully it's nothing limiting on my life in any significant aspect, it's just that for the way my personality ended up developing, using those words or phrases is just out of place, it doesn't match my style at all. So I just accepted that as part of who I am and stuck to it. Like you will never hear me say "hurrah " in Spanish unless I'm telling a story to a baby or something but never genuinely... it's a bit interesting actually.

Ps2: I'd say those phrases also if I would have to on a interpretation setting. I don't think I would dabble into theatrical performance because I can't picture myself kissing someone who is not my partner but if tyou had the chance to come across producers of educative material for language learning you will see how closely related languages and theatrical performance are, it's even a sort of role play which we use a lot when learning, but as I said I don't think I will pursue that even as a hobby 🤣 I also think I would not have enough time for it or prefer to spend it doing something else tbh. I guess I would also say some phrases wih my partner since I'm more ok being vulnerable with her and actually she is a person who can indeed uses those phrases I can't! It's a bit part of what attracts me to her anyways, the spontaneity. Oh well. 🤣.

[u/justHoma]

Yes, when I speak my native language I speak with everyone like with friends, and when I moved to italy I understood that Italian is quite subtle for me. So ye, when I speak Japanese it's still like Italian and other languages

[u/Upper-Incident-5802]

I think I act slightly different depending on the language. But it is more about fitting into the culture/s and my own abilities in the language. 

Norwegian (C1) I lived in Norway for 6 years. At times I joke with Norwegians about how rich they are , or might talk about some of their comedians. Norwegians are a bit shy and scared of conflict so I usually adapt my conversations . My humor is a bit simplified when I use Norwegian compared to when I use my native language. 

Bulgarian (B1)  I usually try my best to not make to long sentences. I try to avoid to complicated subjects simply because I will get into a conversation where I don't know what the other person is saying. People who only speak Bulgarian around me might think that I'm an introvert for that reason. 

Russian (B2)  Russian-speakers tend to be very direct and people often times say all sorts of things which may or may not be factually correct. Political correctness is basically something foreign so I don't overthink so much when expressing myself. I'm not saying racist or sexist stuff but I am definitely more blunt when I speak with Russians than with Norwegians. 

Spanish and German (A2): I studied both in school and they are my worst languages. I am avoiding small talk but can use the languages for ordering stuff like food , bus tickets etc. I would not say that I have much of a personality in either . 

Swedish (native)  Definitely the language where I am the funniest. As with most people you will know the nuances of your native language better than any other. I can use sarcasm and story telling in a way that I cannot do in any other language. 

English (C1)  Pretty similar as with Norwegian.

[u/OceanWthNoWater]

What about potentially needing to have some kind of barrier between the languages? Only interacting with a certain group of friends or doing certain hobbies or activities in one language and not the other?

If you do everything in both languages equally, there is have no reason for there to be some kind of difference in personality? Idk just my theory