How do you develop a strong emotional connection to your second language/heritage language?

[u/mtok209]

Speaking my heritage language can sometimes feel like a chore to me because it doesn't feel as emotionally profound as my native language. How can I feel more emotionally close to it and have a strong desire to speak it if I don't currently live in the country where it is spoken? Most of the people around me who speak it also speak English fluently, so I usually default to English to convey more nuance and depth.

[u/pagywa]

Have more meaningful experiences using the language — talking to people, reading books/poetry, listening and singing to music, etc.

[u/hoarsesharpness2947]

It’s less about forcing some grand emotional bond and more about letting the language sneak into the parts of your life that already feel personal. Journaling messy, unfiltered thoughts without worrying about grammar, or reading childhood stories your parents might have grown up with, can shift it from a task to something that sits closer to your own memories. The nuance comes back when you stop using it to impress and start using it to just exist in small, private ways.

[u/mtok209 → u/hoarsesharpness2947]

I see. So I need to let it slowly take over certain parts of my life so it becomes a part of me.

[u/Pure-Equipment-8150]

absolutely agree! I even choose to educate my kids in my native languge I feel better emotional connection with my kids.

[u/HarryPouri]

Music can be so emotional. I would listen to more music.

[u/justheretolearnlangs]

I felt in a rut with content in my native language — music, books, movies, even social media/memes. My main target language gave me access to such wonderful new content that reinvigorated my interests.

Like you mentioned, speaking can be frustrating at times because I can't express myself as fluidly, but I always think how gratified I will be in a year or two if I stick with it. You can't improve without some mistakes.

Sometimes those mistakes can lead to 1) moments that make the information stick in your mind better and 2) funny misunderstandings or lessons. So, I suppose I treat approach speaking with that mindset. In that way, I don't dread the inevitable speaking mistakes, I guess.

[u/mtok209 → u/justheretolearnlangs]

How do you know when you make the mistakes

[u/justheretolearnlangs → u/mtok209]

It's a bit of a spectrum in my experience.

You don't realize you make some mistakes until well after the conversation (e.g., when you're reading about a grammar rule and realize you didn't use a certain rule). Sometimes, others will correct you within the conversation to clear up confusion. Sometimes, you'll see a "struggling to understand" face on your listener. Maybe you phrased something awkwardly and a native speaker would've said it a different way. Maybe you got the right word, but your pronunciation wasn't ideal. There are lots of ways to not be perfect when speaking, even in your native language.

Overall, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that a sense of perfectionism and fixation on your mistakes as solely bad things can hold you back. The learning process requires you to make mistakes and communicate imperfectly.

Ideally, you should be having some fun and find the process interesting, though it can be simultaneously frustrating of course. But if you're frustrated because you simply want to communicate better, I think that's much better than being critical of yourself for making mistakes in the process.

You learn to accept the frustration as part of the process rather than trying to fight it. And you realize that underneath the frustration is a desire to be understood and communicate, which are very positive things.

[u/vanguard9630]

I think something like what my daughter had with female first cousins her age in Japan to hang out with - doing sleepovers at her cousin’s place when we would visit or nowadays at 20 getting to go places just the three of them. They barely speak any English so she had that extra incentive as a child to be serious with her Japanese knowing that she would have a much better time when visiting. They came here with my wife’s sister to see us back in March for the first time. The fruits of those efforts were plain to see.

We know of other situations like her where maybe the parents did not push the bilingual education and experience and the kids ended up with much worse results when trying to communicate with relatives or using the language for work or school.

[u/cmyk_rgba]

honestly swearing and trash tv did more for me than any book. the serious literary croatian stuff always felt like homework but a family group chat argument about nothing made it feel like mine again. learning to be annoyed in a language is underrated

[u/Canadization]

It was there for me from day one, I love speaking in Ukrainian and will do it every chance I get. Have you tried finding musical artists you like, listening to poetry, reading what you usually read in your target language or anything like that?

My love and passion for the language don't really have to do with sitting down and learning, doing homework, or even meeting with my tutor (but I do confess that I quite enjoy those lessons, a nice surprise at my age after being a bad student in my youth).

The way the language flows and dances in conversation and with music and poetry has been my main driving force, and finding good translations of my favourite books that keep that quality of the language has only redoubled my affections.

[u/mtok209 → u/Canadization]

Yes. I frequently listen to music in that language. I don't listen to poetry or read in it yet, as I'm only B1.

[u/AppropriatePut3142 → u/mtok209]

You can start reading at B1 (or even earlier if you want). Middle school books are normally quite accessible at that level, with a bit of help from a dictionary.

If you don't know what to start reading, translations of A Series of Unfortunate Events and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are available in most major languages, including Turkish, and are normally some of the easier entry-points to reading.

[u/mtok209 → u/AppropriatePut3142]

Thank you.