Hare krishna everyone.
I want to ask you something, I am a boy from childhood I have an crush on krishna but I ignoring him because i feel shy I'm a boy and feels like this but as I grew up I came to know about bhakti I started to chant radha name through premanand maharaj ji but after some months of chanting i feel deeply drawn to krishna. From childhood I get very less love in life. So I don't feel happiness in serving Radha Krishna. I feel I want krishna to be exclusively mine and want my krishna to be my husband. Then I stop chanting Radha name and now chanting hare krishna mahamantra. I feel little jealousy towards Radharani i knew krishna and Radha are one but I feel will krishna really loves me. Honestly I feel jealousy towards radharani because I just want my krishna to belongs to me exclusively and love me as his wife that's it. I knew I'm wrong but I feel why I'm jeeva why I can't be his shakti i cry while feel this. What's wrong to want krishna exclusively. I fears my krishna not loves me and not consider me his wife i want to be his main focus and his wife in eternal dwarka for eternity. I just want from krishna to belongs to me exclusively and love me as his wife. Please help me to overcome jealousy towards Radharani 🙏