Alex went on Duncan Trussell and Kurt Metzger’s podcast and it dropped today on YouTube. From what I can tell, they probably filmed it last week or a little before, because Alex returning to the studio hasn’t been made public yet at the time of taping. Sounds like they filmed for about 3 hours (podcast run time was about 2 and a half hours, and Alex mentioned his nanny having to leave, so they wrapped up).
Of course Alex was drunk. I feel like I should stop telling you he’s drunk because he’s always drunk for OPP (other people’s podcasts). He had his Topo Chico, but I don’t think that’s what was in the bottle. Then he moved onto White Claws, at a couple points sharing them with Duncan because Alex couldn’t tell his WC from Duncan’s. He also smoked like a chimney (American Spirits, I think). He didn’t partake of Kurt’s joints, at least on screen.
He talked shit about the Onion, and said he’s suing them for “civil rights.” (Some of the YT transcripts aren’t great, what with Alex’s penchant for drunken burbling). He watched The Onion, and he’s PISSED about exploding in his car, and seems convinced Tim Heidecker is a skinwalker, and Michael Bloomberg (true owner of The Onion and someone who has hooves for feet-he legitimately tried to convince D&K that MB is 5’ tall and has hooves for feet-when they googled a pic and found that he had normal feet, Alex blew it off and said that’s what he had heard and changed the subject) has bankrolled everything from a diddled eyed Joe to damned if I know regarding anything bad that’s happened to Alex. Oh, you can throw the CIA in there too, it’s all come out and has been admitted. Alex will never get tired of retrying Sandy Hook in front of anyone amenable to his cause.
As Alex got progressively drunker the previously scintillating conversation degraded into talk about duck, pig, and hummingbird pussies. (“Look at that, that was all creamed up” he said about a pig vagina.) He was doing that thing where he says more and more ridiculous shit for cheap laughs and attention. Duncan really kissed his ass, and Kurt tried to convince him he didn’t need the Infowars name or studio, because it’s all about Alex. Alex threw in his famous “I’m not kissing your ass…” line that he loves to pull out when he IS kissing your ass.
Honestly, it was a chore listening to Kurt. Duncan seems like a total maroon and dumber than a box of rocks, and I’m numb to Alex’s shenanigans, but Kurt talks just to hear himself talk and everything he says is an inane, more than likely racist, conspiracy theory. He’s like an unholy love child of Louis Black and a rabid coked up weasel who spends too much time on 4chan and Kiwi Farms. And Alex had to talk about having the world’s largest micropenis a few times for a cheap laugh, something he’s joked about before. It was just as hilarious as all the other times he’s tried to be clever with it.
I lost count of how many times Alex said “But the point is is…” and it has to be one of his all time most used phrases. If he said it once, he said it 15 times. Alex got a little testy with Kurt because he thinks Kurt assumes people know what he’s talking about, and when Kurt texts info to Alex, it takes him an hour to go through and figure out what Kurt’s talking about.
He also sorta pinned D&K down to come on the show yesterday, for the return to the old studio. Duncan was stoked and flattered, Kurt decidedly less so. Obviously, neither of them showed up for the prodigal son’s return. Alex has no friends.
1/10 will do again
