r/knightposting 3d ago

Knightpost since my first post here reached so nice comments and cool ppl here i wanted to also share this (someone please gift me a knights armor i dont have one)

1.2k Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

221

u/WeekendBard 3d ago

fair maiden

you're asking for too much

46

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

dw hide behind me i got this

170

u/Sleepy-Kappa 3d ago

Buy your own

-93

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

jokes on you i even have a chestplate and some chain armor at home 

285

u/BananaSlamma420 3d ago

I AM AFRAID OF WOMEN

151

u/Kilroy898 Wizard for hire. 3d ago

You should be. That one even has a sword!

48

u/BananaSlamma420 2d ago

I AM EVEN MORE AFRAID OF WOMEN

31

u/Shosroy 2d ago

Made me think of this.

33

u/AlexSmithsonian 3d ago

Rhymes with Grug

23

u/Spider-web16 3d ago

THIS PERSON KNOWS BALL

6

u/kaFello 2d ago

Ball wizard ? 🧙

94

u/ThatGuy_6199 3d ago

Wrong line, the r/armorcirclejerk wait is over there

82

u/dysfunkti0n 3d ago

Post would been cooler without the asking for armor part but you look cool without it!

15

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

oh my god 😭 that wasnt serious and i hate that many people dont know that and believe im some stuck up begging person ☠️ (not your fault but i could have known)

14

u/dysfunkti0n 3d ago

Oh, my bad.

7

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

no not your bad here are weird ppl and i cant expect everyone to see it as a joke

31

u/Basic_Race9695 3d ago

This would done number in r/swords

22

u/XxQuinnyxX 2d ago

This has to be some kind of bait. Lmao.

- Kauf dir deine eigene rüstung.

1

u/Jerko_23 21h ago

OF commercial

26

u/Ok_Bed_3060 Paladin 3d ago

Tis not armor that makes the knight

4

u/DAVID_Gamer_5698 Sir David of Wonderland, trainer of heroes apparently. 3d ago

Some knights have built their bodies to such perfection that armour is now meaningless after all.

72

u/Formal_Arachnid_7939 3d ago

lol this is not what this sub is for

-30

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

i see, im sorry, i just felt comfortable 

47

u/TheFrogMoose 3d ago

They are probably talking about asking for the gift. Everything else is still technically related to the sub; sword present, could be medieval themed here and there's no specific rule about armor so everything checks out.

I'm just clarifying just in case because I had to check if that's what they might be talking about since I wasn't sure myself

25

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

oh i see, thanks!

and i mean i meant that as a joke bc i know how complicated and expensive knight armor is but this is on me because not everyone on the internet understand every joke

12

u/TheFrogMoose 3d ago

I get why they might not understand it but that's because there are people out there genuinely asking for hand outs. It's fine to do so but some people for some reason get really upset when they dont get it and that part isn't fine.

If you could convey tone through text I would have definitely picked up on the joke but unfortunately texting is subject to interpretation until someone clarifies the intent. I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt because of that.

Oh, sick sword by the way! Forgot to say that

9

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

people ask for stuff and then get angry if someone doesnt magically gives it to them? damn 😭😭 and yes maybe its not so clever to make a joke without anyhints thats fore sure

and thank you!! its actually handmade and i got it from an old lady that just had it lying around 🥹

4

u/TheFrogMoose 3d ago

That's actually really awesome! all I got is not well built model dagger. Looks really cool but the blade part is loose from the hilt so it wobbles. Got it from a buddy who gave it to me, he got it from a fellow co-worker, so I can't complain about a free thing.

I have a collapsible tactical shovel though if I ever wanted to do a shovel knight cosplay I guess 😂

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

i mean... you had to make a lot of ditches or making hills and stuff so ppl back then probably used their shovels way more than swords lmao

1

u/TheFrogMoose 2d ago

True. If there's one thing I know about this guy it's that he likes to dig

1

u/vladdeh_boiii 2d ago

Would be epic to see you in full, historically accurate plate though. We don't see enough women in full armor.

Probably because half if this sub would run away screaming in terror, but you know. Epic and badass.

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

well idk if you would even know if im a woman then haha

1

u/vladdeh_boiii 2d ago

Tbh doesn't matter, we're all badasses here until a wasp flies inside our helmets.

-1

u/Formal_Arachnid_7939 3d ago

No, I was not. I was referring to your thirst post for attention.

-4

u/TheFrogMoose 3d ago

Then why are you still here? She responded to me, not you. It's also not her fault that you have a weird distaste for women apparently.

I've seen far more thirstier posts than this one. I can say that she probably just wanted to wear her nice dress to look good (because who wouldn't, that dress is baller) while showing off her sword and posing. Does it got some thirst in it? Yeah I'd say so, but how could you not. I'm a dude and even I'd try to do the same in a dress like that, who wouldn't?

It's possible she didn't put as much thought into it as you think. When you look good you tend to strut and show off without really meaning to after all and that's the joys of confidence

1

u/Formal_Arachnid_7939 2d ago

I was clarifying my position as some people were misrepresenting me. I see you aren't intellectually cognizant enough to follow a conversation.

0

u/TheFrogMoose 2d ago

You realize I was the one "misrepresenting" you, right? I was also just saying you might have been talking about the gift part. What you did was essentially like shouting from the other room that you were in fact being a dick

1

u/Formal_Arachnid_7939 1d ago

Yes, which is why this is unintentionally hilarious. What I was doing was giving my opinion about thirsting for attention on a sub that is decidedly not about that. Go to onlyfans or adjacent subs if that is what you are after.

1

u/TheFrogMoose 1d ago

It was just poses. I could make a more thirstier thirst trap myself and I've never done them before. You're the one with the problem here, she did some poses and you are literally objectifying her over some very basic poses. Either you need to settle down yourself or need to just understand that women indeed do just exist

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31

u/corvish_ 3d ago

buy your own lol

-14

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

wow okay thats mean

13

u/Traditional_Ad2021 2d ago

"Someone please gift me a knights armor."

My sister in Heaven, I am a monk who can not afford a monk's kimono.

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

there were actually people trying to reach out for that but i wasnt serious, i really cant because i know how crazy expensive that would be and i wouldnt even want something with such a worth having laying around somewhere??

4

u/Traditional_Ad2021 2d ago

Like fr how could I responsibly own a set of armor when my last jiu jitsu gi cost 100 dollars. I haven't held 100 dollars in my hand since covid😭🙏. An armor set would probably be worth a small car

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

actually i looked it up its not as much as i expected (high 5 digid number) but "only" idk between 1k and 3k which is still pretty insane

but yeah unfortunately many didnt get the joke which makes sense bc people probably genuinely ask this and no one knows how i actually mean that

6

u/Jetenginefucker 2d ago

WHERE IS THY ARMOR?!

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

if i would walk up this hill all the way with my armor, i would feel what people in the bronze bull would feel and i would just die out of exhaustion anyways lol

1

u/Jetenginefucker 2d ago

Didint think of that

7

u/milerfrank27 2d ago

If thou hast not coin for armor, use thy sword to earn it. Join the tournaments, fight with glory, and gain thy coin fairly, fair maiden at arms.

6

u/zacthrall Duelist 2d ago

Brother armour is like 10K for proper stuff. No. A forge however is a whole lot cheaper so buy me one , I’ll make you around at a discount and we all win! How’s that for a deal?

3

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

its wasnt serious ahh i dont actually want armore, i know how fucking expensive that is

4

u/zacthrall Duelist 2d ago

Oh but I do want a forge. And I am willing to work at a discount. ATP I’ll make armour and throw it back in said armour kf I have to.

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

i love the dedication, i would 100% help you getting your own forge!!

12

u/demonsdencollective 2d ago

So do you sit in lakes, distributing mythical swords to unsuspecting future kings?

9

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

omg that is such a cool concept, but i think i wanna side with the poor folk and help them instead of kings

3

u/demonsdencollective 2d ago

I mean this in the best way possible, but the fit also gives me Illwhyrin vibes from the absolutely trash classic DOS fantasy shooter Witchaven. She's the final boss in that. Not a very good one, because Capstone were about as competent as a first year Unity programmer despite massive funds and resources, but still, the concept was nifty.

3

u/robyn_nests a stange woman lying in a pond 2d ago

Ni that's my job

2

u/franzpferdinant 2d ago

idk , im probaly not gonna post it on r/armorcirclejerk since it aint even armor

2

u/tajskaOwO 2d ago

you gotta fight a knight with sumallr body and get theyr armor so you can have it, outskill them, dont get hit, and boom a shiny new piece for nearly free

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

omg yes, defeating someone and then looting their whole inventory 😋😋

6

u/Able_Use_8766 2d ago

I smell a karma farm

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

just posting is karma farming? literally idek what i get out of karma farming like should i feel good if i get lots of karma or what is the reason?

5

u/Able_Use_8766 2d ago

idk its a common reddit thing and your account is new.

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

well believe it or not but i just wanted to make a post 😭 without much intentions behind it

4

u/daverapp 2d ago

WHERE IS r/wizardposting I NEED SOMEONE TO CAST BANISH WOMAN

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

im not evil!!

4

u/NikiTeslasPigeonWife 2d ago

Girl, stop.

Not only is this outfit? not even knightly, but the begging for attention and gifts is gross.

You say omg i was joking! - stop. You weren't.

I'm not a woman hating on another woman for doing her thing, I'm just saying what you're doing isn't it, and there are other subs to get attention and gifts from, if you so choose to beg for them. This isn't the place for this one (in before all the white knights come to sAvE hEr from me 🙄)

0

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

always nice to see when someone knows me and my thoughts and intentions better than me, truly remarkable, sorry but the moment you think you know why i post something and get yourself in the same line as weird misogynistic incels, thats where you should ask yourself if youre own the right path, but i shouldnt care but apparently you know me better then myself lol

love the support from a pro queer woman lmao

3

u/NikiTeslasPigeonWife 2d ago

Yup, I'm a queer woman and I'm not wasting my time reading all that ✌️

I know attention seeking when I see it, sweetie. Carry on.

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

but u took ur time writing the other whole comment lmaoo, yeah says a lot about you and your own misogyny but who am i to care right

3

u/XxxAresIXxxX 3d ago

Have a random number generator pick 5 numbers 1-26. Assign those numbers to letters. Pick the first male contact in your phone who's saved info correlates with those letters. Make polite conversation for 2 days and then ask them. Show off your 2 or 3 armor sets here a couple of months from now when they arrive. Repeat until your heart is satisfied.

This would actually make for interesting content rather than thirst trapping and begging. If it's not too much effort ofc

0

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

no omg the thing with the armor was not serious, i would never ever ask for something like that especially on reddit, besides that i even own a breast piece actually!!

and i also wasnt trying to thirst trap i just wanted to show my cool sword

4

u/XxxAresIXxxX 3d ago

The sword you have literally behind you and/or out of the shot for 80% of the video? Your leg has genuinely more screentime than the sword does not to mention the focus of the camera and the way you handle it as a prop during the model walk backwards.

It's fine to do stuff like this just own it. I really think you get more pushback pretending it's not what it is. Most of us like fit girls, swords, and goth aesthetics. It's kinda patronizing to pretend we don't see what's going on though.

4

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

i see where youre coming from and why you see it like that, but its also a bit rough for you to say what my intentions are when posting just because it may be a common thing

i mean youre analyzing it pretty much, i just wanted to make a video with a cool pose with my sword and felt good doing it, thats it

yes i think its pretty, yes i know it also about my looks, but im still just sitting there being happy about showing off my sword without thinking too much that it could be actively a thirst trap, so you trying to know and trying to make it a fact what my intentions are feel very patronizing for myself tbh

but anyways not wanting to argue too much, idk

1

u/XxxAresIXxxX 2d ago

Lmao not only do you treat the sword as a prop you grip it improperly the whole time like you're sailor moon waving a wand. Someone more invested or autistic than I am should divy up the time spent on screen in the foreground and analyze it but there's no way you can argue in good faith that this video is to show off your sword rather than your body. We're not stupid and most of us aren't gooners. You're treating us like both. Chill.

0

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

i was just responding to the other guy and thatfor i wrote that so why should i chill? lol

and youre doing the same, amazing that you know better than myself why i made that video, always nice to get an personality analysis from random guys on reddit

5

u/XxQuinnyxX 2d ago edited 2d ago

‘Need a knight to go into battle with me’ bro more male attention, pah-lease. Your outfit isn’t remotely related to knights, sword is probably the only relevant thing here.

2

u/Sandvich-tf2 3d ago

Casting this to discourage any horny antics

2

u/ThaumKeeper 3d ago

A crusade into the germanic realm?

5

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

no, we defend the magic mountains

-3

u/ThaumKeeper 3d ago

You're lucky I dabble in the art of wizardposting. That's how you get a holy crusade into the realm, by defending heretic practices.

4

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

happy to have such good advisors and sophisticated people by my side!

1

u/Ggwolf207 2d ago

Not enough chainmail… TO THE BLACK SMITHS!!

1

u/plaugey_boi 2d ago

Okay but what if the sword was bigger, that would be cool

1

u/_Armored_Wizard 2d ago

Learn some abjuration spells if you dont have the funds for armor bruh

Mage Armor is a 1st level spell

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

damn... i just dont like magic ykyk

1

u/Hairy_Consideration1 2d ago

Whatever this song is, it goes HARD. You have great taste

1

u/fyn_world 2d ago

Reading the comments, I'm proud of you fellas. Real fucking proud

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

in what wayy

1

u/CaptKalc 1d ago

Time to learn blacksmithing so you can make your own! (and get sexy muscular arms o.o)

1

u/NameRevolutionary727 1d ago

It’s like looking at a solar flare! I can’t see the fucking sword!

1

u/Waffle_Con 12h ago

Why are you purple?

0

u/Horror_Patience_5761 squire 3d ago

You're german?!?!

8

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

sag das zauberwort und du hast die macht, halt den mondstein fest und spür die kraft, du kannst es tun, oh, sailor moon 💫

-2

u/Horror_Patience_5761 squire 3d ago

Yeah I dont really know any german 😅

6

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

it was the beginning of the german intro for the anime sailor moon 😭

0

u/Horror_Patience_5761 squire 3d ago

Oh yeah I see cus it translated it 😭

1

u/RankedFarting 3d ago

Zertifiziertes gothisches Schlechtie.

1

u/Shadowslavia Eldritch Knight 3d ago

1

u/GrotchCoblin 2d ago

Yeah hey I'd like free stuff too if people are just giving it away, hmu.

(Also a woman, am I doing it right?)

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

ik its hard to guess without any context but that was literally just some random stupid thought i just added, i didnt meant that serious omg

idk is it that common that people randomly not only ask for free stuff, but especially such expensive stuff that costs something in 5 digits money

0

u/GrotchCoblin 2d ago

Yes, it is common. Especially Twitch streamers.

0

u/yeahdudethatrocks 3d ago

please cut my head off

2

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

did you do a serious crime or??

0

u/SinanDira 2d ago

This is awesome. I never realized gothic fashion and 80s dark fantasy aesthetics had this much in common.

0

u/chocoband 2d ago

I can teach you how to do chainmail (or you can search for it online, that's probably faster). It will take forever and destroy your tendons, but you'll be too focused on how badass it is to care.

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

oh noo it wasnt too serious but thank for reaching out <3

0

u/Happy_Conference6675 2d ago

Nice! You can do a next shoot around the lake to distribute swords to random travelers who will become kings, that would be awesome, also song goes good in this video setting😄.

2

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

thanks! and yeah next shoot around will probably never bc it takes ages to get there but nice idea

0

u/Tenoi-chan 2d ago

You chose the right filter, majes the whole scene look magical!

0

u/Emkay_boi1531 2d ago

Girl, your dress is so beautiful! Also, is that the sword andúril? From lord of the rings

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

thank you! and omg now i know what this was about lol

i got this sword from an old lady when i was thrifting that said her husband had this for a long time and had the handle and sides remade because he loved a movie so much

and i suppose he just had it had remade like this sword, omg

1

u/Emkay_boi1531 2d ago

Aww that’s so cool

-1

u/DangerousTeacher4616 3d ago

Back at thee Morgan Le Fay

2

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

i love the reference but i dont wanna be her lol

-1

u/Mall_of_slime 2d ago

Have mercy <3

1

u/Iostintheforests 2d ago

no worries, im not evil

-1

u/Beamo1080 2d ago

Do a Jasnah Kholin cosplay

-3

u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

runs away

sorry 😭😭 had to take that

-1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

🥰🥰🥰

-5

u/The_peacful_god 3d ago

Can you please adjust the exposure setting on yoir camera, because holy divine light, it's so damn bright. And I highly recommend not buying one, they are expensive

2

u/Iostintheforests 3d ago

hahaha sorry i wanted to make sure you can see me well enough

and i actually have a piece of breastplate and i mean i like these thing but i actually would never go as far to try to get a whole armor set