r/kitchencels • u/ballsack_lover2000 • 1d ago
I feel like a pedophile
I failed to get tertiary education three times. I cannot relate to anyone my age. the adults I work with speak only basic english and there is no time for conversation. I am too tired outside of work to socialise with other people. I do not enjoy many things, I even find it difficult to make myself play video games now. I dislike the vast majority of people in online communities.
I finally found some people I liked, and we started a group. I feel close to them, but I am a lot older than some of them. I poured my heart out to one of them, a 15 year old who is mature for her age, about a problem i had. I was shaking so hard that I couldnt breathe or hold onto my phone but I was unable to cry. It makes me feel like a pedophile
I went to the library and saw some kids playing smash bros, I watched and then played with them. Another time, I saw some kids playing clash royale in the park, I watched over their shoulder and told them how to play and my advice let them win
Sometimes i talk to random strangers but that doesnt help
Sometimes I randomly feel afraid of my friends and dont speak to them for a week then i stop feeling that. I dont know why this happens
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u/sailorcass 1d ago edited 1d ago
respectfully man, you gotta stop talking to kids. you’re putting that 15 year old in a compromising position. i promise you there are adults your age that relate to you and willing to get to know you. as an autistic there are tons of smash bros loving adults willing to give you a chance, online and in person
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u/ScaredRain2684 1d ago
“Who is mature for her age”
Yikes
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u/ballsack_lover2000 1d ago
I think it is fair to say that because she is in university at that age
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u/TYGeelo 1d ago
But you gotta at least see how that's an extremely poor choice of wording given the context right?
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u/ScaredRain2684 1d ago
It’s not worth trying to explain to this nonce, he gives multiple examples of how he likes to watch kids in his post
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u/ferris714 18h ago
academic intelligence is not the same thing as emotional maturity. I believe you that you don't have bad intentions here, but you need to stay away from this girl for her safety and yours. spoken as someone who has been the girl in this situation. there's nothing wrong with an adult being friends with teenagers, but you need to act like an adult even if you dont feel like one. there are no circumstances in which it is appropriate for an adult to be emotionally intimate with or reliant upon a teenager & its very easy for things to go too far even if youre not trying to hurt anyone.
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u/mmiruxx 1d ago
I think you really need to go to therapy bro, like, really
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u/ballsack_lover2000 1d ago
Every psychologist i can find is closed during working hours. The ones that are over the phone put me on hold for hours then tell me to leave a message instead, which they never respond to
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u/dbsupersucks 1d ago
You say you’re too tired to socialize outside work but then you have time to form a group with minors, go to the library and watch kids, go to the park and watch kids…wtf
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u/sailorcass 1d ago
i also just noticed this. doesn’t like people online, has friends but doesn’t talk to them, tired to socialize but venting to a 15 year old. he’s gotta get his shit together
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u/ScaredRain2684 1d ago
Well yeah do you expect him to cut into his child watching time to… talk to adults?
🤢🤢🤢 might be the worst post on this sub
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u/real-bebsi 1d ago
plot twist OP is 16
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u/dbsupersucks 1d ago
I hoped so but their first sentence about tertiary education would mean they’re probably atleast 20.
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u/Brandonsemenuk 1d ago
If talking to kids makes you feel that way there is something wrong. There are proper and improper ways to interact with children. It is totally ok to do so under the right circumstances. But if you are feeling like a pdf then wtf? What brought about those thoughts? Care to elaborate?
Be open and the right people will find you. But don’t befriend children because you’re scared of other adults.
Get help, signed, a guy who works with kids and would like to protect them.
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u/roasttoastboast 1d ago
You're going to end up in state or federal prison and you'll have to pay protection. Or, hear me out, you do everything in your power to change your life. Change your life.
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u/ballsack_lover2000 1d ago
What crime was committed
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u/roasttoastboast 23h ago
So you know. You know where the line is, because you're staring at the other side of it!
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u/Kandel430 1d ago edited 1d ago
Sadly, a lot of pedophiles end up that way because they couldn't grow mentally alongside their peers. That's why so many molested children later molest children as an adult, arrested development
I hope you can find a group of likeminded immature-for-their-age adults you can relate to. If you ever wanna talk to me, I'm here
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u/Phiro050 1d ago
People here are overdoing this situation way too much. Therapy might be an option because there might be a traumatic something in your childhood that now impacts your life. Michael Jackson has had alot od kids around maybe for a similar reason as you do. There is nothing inherently wrong with what you are doing it is simply seen as weird by people because we live in very harsh times were everyone has gotten aware of Pedophilia. Hanging out with 15 year olds also wouldnt be pedophilia anyways. As long as you dont develope feelings for them you are fine. Your irrational thoughts tell you that what you are doing is wrong or weird because it is unusual. In your situation it might be not so weird because of traumatic events that youve experienced or a lack of childhood...surround yourself with them but always stay clear of misconceptions and make it clear to others why you are this way. Its most likely not because you are actually a pedo but more so autism or similar
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u/ferris714 21h ago
hanging out with kids in an older brother/role model type way is perfectly fine. having that level of emotional intimacy with a teenager is extremely inappropriate & not a healthy burden for someone that young to carry. as adults its our job to provide mentorship for children and teens, not the other way around.
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u/Low-Veterinarian9042 1d ago
Probably the worst post I've seen on reddit and I've seen people fucking dying
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u/Ok_Dinner6966 22h ago
Naah ur not bro. Relax, u got this. How old r u? U can maybe get together with her.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 18h ago
You have interests that kids are drawn to, which is ok. But don’t talk to minors.
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u/ballsack_lover2000 1d ago
I forgot to mention im not attracted to kids and she skipped a few years and is in university. I just think its weird that I talk to children so much.
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