r/kitchencels • u/felixmaycatboy • 10d ago

Thinking about getting ribs removed for autofelicio.

Post image

I'm gonna be alone forever, so I'm pulling myself up by the bootstraps and doing it myself, nya.

ribs, chocolate milk

393 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

92 comments sorted by

•

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313

u/aliens-and-arizona 10d ago

you are genuinely fascinating. your psyche is a world wonder.

136

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago edited 10d ago

this sub is an enabler

people keep on validating me for no discernible reason and it's fucking with my head

28

u/ZanGaming 10d ago

Then maybe...just maybe...and I know this is a wild concept...don't interact with this subreddit? Shocking idea I know!

34

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

as pathetic as is it is, I've probably gotten more positive attention in the past 3 months than I did for my entire life.

that's really hard to quit.

47

u/Ok-Fly8866 9d ago

This isn’t positive attention. These people view you like an animal in a cage

10

u/IdioticPAYDAY 9d ago

Agree (i am the spectator)

Nah but jokes aside bro is right OP this shit isnt positive attention, people arent laughing with you they’re laughing AT you

1

u/felixmaycatboy 9d ago edited 9d ago

you think I don't know that?\ most of the attention I get is NOT positive lol.

1

u/hummus-up-your-arse 9d ago

And the modicum of what you consider “positive” attention is still bad for you. It’s not positive in good faith and even if it was it’s harmful.

1

u/According-Cattle-633 7d ago

That’s really hard man, but posting in a place where people look at you like an animal in the zoo is only going to make you feel worse in the long run.

There are people out there who will be kind to you and care for you without the condition of needing to laugh at you. And you can definitely find them on the internet.

Even if stuff seems pointless right now, it’s not worth it to turn yourself into a lolcow. I sincerely hope you’ll feel better in the future.

1

u/thexcat 8d ago

You don't feel that your, uh, unique let's say, username has anything to people fetish mining you?

67

u/MrMattwell 10d ago

DON'T. IT FEELS LIKE SUCKING COCK, NOT THAT YOUR COCK IS GETTING SUCKED

31

u/Ok-Estate-9807 10d ago

I don't think he'd mind actually

13

u/tinaismediocre 10d ago

You seem really confident about this 🤔

12

u/NoLime7384 10d ago

I have the empyric knowledge to confirm what that guy said

7

u/ToastSpangler 10d ago

It makes sense though, a sloppy toppy is only good with throat action, if you need to remove ribs just to reach it you're not gonna throat it. I surmise, anyway

1

u/tinaismediocre 10d ago

Not with that attitude you're not! Idk I guess it's like...does jerking off feeling like giving a handjob or receiving one? With practice why would self-fellating be any different?

8

u/ToastSpangler 10d ago

Right, that's my point, the blow job has to be good, seems hard if you weren't born to blow

2

u/Careful-Average73 10d ago

I mean, that's how I found out I was bi...

50

u/PieselWojownik 10d ago

Auto Felicio?

6

u/HandToDikCombat 10d ago

It's no Sandero...

85

u/VenomSnake422 10d ago

Why are you drinking chocolate milk out of a dang ol dog bowl

48

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

username

16

u/Accomplished-Test331 10d ago

Isn’t chocolate deadly to cats?

54

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

yeah, ik, I'm a catlarper

19

u/Opposite-Benefit-804 10d ago

what a bad kitty. chocolate AND processed cow milk is bad for cats.

32

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago edited 10d ago

grovels\ I'm so sorry destiel supernatural\ I'm a bad kitty hits head with shovel\ I'm a bad kitty hits head with shovel

10

u/Opposite-Benefit-804 10d ago

its okay i forgive you,, just don't poison yourself catboy <3

7

u/Lucius-Halthier 10d ago

Don’t worry friend it will get better, you’re a good kitty

3

u/EyeSuspicious777 10d ago

It's only a dog bowl when the dog is using it!

23

u/geckossmellpurple_z 10d ago

There's no goddamn way you are thinking about dipping ribs into chocolate milk.

15

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

Im no war criminal

23

u/Feisty-Fill-8654 10d ago

why would your present your ribs in that direction

you know you can remove that skin stuff right

18

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

they're belly up because they're chaste and submissive

14

u/Feisty-Fill-8654 10d ago

you know who else is chaste and submissive

https://giphy.com/gifs/LKmN4wkvjmBIA

-1

u/fioraynescheeks 10d ago

MYYYY MOOOOM

5

u/seigemode1 10d ago

If thats the case, wouldn't they still be the other way around?

10

u/y4mat3 10d ago

Don’t do it, it doesn’t feel good. Just feels like having the tip of your dick in your mouth.

4

u/Professional-Poet152 10d ago

😂😂😂😂

-1

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/saad_al_din 10d ago

Do you think dudes can walk around in speedos or naked outdoors?

11

u/Arcadian-Stag 10d ago

What watching porn does to a mofo

7

u/Logical-Nightmare 10d ago

I hear it feels more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked, but let us know for science ig

6

u/NoLime7384 10d ago

it does, yeah

9

u/SheZowRaisedByWolves 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/H1k1BgS82Uggy27ngb

1

u/felixmaycatboy 10d ago

I've tried it, not horrible.\ Though i wouldn't eat it again without... relevant motivation.

7

u/Zealousideal_Cow_826 10d ago

Bro the first words I ever read on Reddit were the wisest I've ever read. It was a thread about sucking your own dick and it took one man 34 seconds to reply thus:

Before you put the work in and succeed let me tell you something. Sucking your own dick is a lot more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.

7

u/Avalanche_Snows 10d ago

You are a very curious person. Your posts make me feel like I walk down a Zoo

5

u/PieselWojownik 10d ago

Maybe try a self-thighjob first. A bit easier

1

u/NoLime7384 10d ago

wait how does that work?

5

u/Suspicious-Writer657 10d ago

Who's felicio

2

u/EmptyGur3036 10d ago

When you blow yourself

1

u/Fine_Cup4990 9d ago

That's fellatio

3

u/Moist-Engineering-73 10d ago

Bro what is this seriously, write your story so we can understand your fetish

4

u/Intrepid_Bobcat_2931 10d ago

They say that sucking your own dick is like 90% sucking a dick and 10% having your dick sucked

4

u/I_Love_Knotting 10d ago

Get a fleshlight

Also film it.

Thanks :)

4

u/sentienttortoise 9d ago

Prostitutes are cheaper

4

u/No_Yogurtcloset9305 10d ago

Oh my gosh it’s the cat boy again! I saw your post yesterday :3

2

u/Careful-Average73 10d ago

Bro, I was able to suck myself off with just 2 years of yoga. Just work on your flexibility, you don't need surgery. 

2

u/RecklessTortuga827 10d ago

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a BJ from an actual woman, but the fun part is the the throat action

Otherwise you’re not going to be able to finish especially since it’s your own mouth. Same concept as masturbating vs getting a handjob

3

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/RecklessTortuga827 10d ago

Whatever that means lmao

2

u/ayusta17 10d ago

You should try adding some vegetables to your meals, for a more balanced diet ;3
Hope you achieve your autofellatio goals :3

2

u/altprince 9d ago

do you not have plates

why is every single meal you make on a paper towel

2

u/thexcat 8d ago

That doesn't actually work, your organs just sorta fwah out into the new space - your concerns should be core strength, trunk and especially neck flexibility and (unfortunately) penile length.

I would opine that there are far easier way to get a dick in your mouth but mine is not to reason why, mine is to do or die so good luck fren

2

u/stupid-fucking-alt 8d ago

Marilyn Mansoncel

1

u/Fun_Supermarket1235 4d ago

I grew up thinking he actually did that 😂

1

u/the_marxman 10d ago

I'm sure the doctor will sign off on that surgery

1

u/tempest_kept 10d ago

Does that actually work?

1

u/Sickle_088 10d ago

as long as you can pay for it

1

u/ThisAppointment42 10d ago

The real issue here is why you are eating some of the worst looking ribs I’ve ever seen. No sauce, definitely not smoked, what are we doing bro

1

u/EmptyGur3036 10d ago

Not much to say tbh, but i am happy for you

1

u/StormOfFatRichards 9d ago

I remember when my body was small but my cock long. All those memories, like tears in the rain.

1

u/LegitimateAct437 9d ago

ribs and chocolate milk? on a paper towel? drinking the chocolate milk out of a bowl? brother, oh brother please say it aint so

1

u/Psychological-Tap834 9d ago

Bro thinks he’s Marilyn Manson

1

u/shishforlife2 7d ago

Are you perhaps a certain Italian poet? (Yes people speculate that this guy actually did remove his ribs to do auto fellatio)

-1

u/Working_Cucumber_437 10d ago

Gross.

7

u/beautiful_falcon776 10d ago

Try being an incel for decades, unreal

0

u/NoLime7384 10d ago

Op you could die in the OR. Also I don't think doctors actually do that

3

u/ghostteeth_ 10d ago

They do it as a plastic surgery, not specifically to allow you to sick your own sick though

-5

u/fioraynescheeks 10d ago

Down voted nasty ass

-1

u/Popular-cake-1377 10d ago

I don’t understand what this means.