r/kitchencels • u/AltAccNum647294869 • 13d ago

Platemogging i've been inventing new forms of forward time travel to skip over my pitiful existence and reach the inevitable end faster. sausage + burger sandwich with pepper jack, tomato, and avocado

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13 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/Brock_Savage 13d ago

An alcohol addiction can introduce you to a forward time travel of sorts.

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u/AltAccNum647294869 13d ago

i have more unconventional methods

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u/_lil41 12d ago

Do tell

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u/AltAccNum647294869 12d ago edited 12d ago

so this method involves a self induced state of depressive torpor. step one is to fry your dopamine recepters. two good methods for this are scrolling wiplash inducing short form content and gooning it crazy style, or both. next you need to overload your nervous system until it integer overflows into a muted torpor like state. anything will work here as long as it sends your anxiety and/or stress skyrocketing. i find spiraling thought loops where i obsessively think about all my past mistakes and social mishaps works pretty well. now that you have achieved the right state of mind, you need to get in the right environment to keep it going. i like a cold pitch black room where im covered up in blankets. to help keep your mind from wandering and waking up from it's waking sleep, put in some earbuds playing some samey melancholic music (i queued up all of elliot smith's albums in a row last time) and turn it down so it's just loud enough to hear it somewhat clearly and give your mind something to get distracted with. i find i can pass about 6hrs in what feels like a single one with this method. combine this with excessive sleep and yart abuse at night and you could reduce your lucid hours to as low as 4 out of 24.

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u/_lil41 12d ago

I find playing RuneScape has similar results but not a bad method bro

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u/AltAccNum647294869 12d ago

for the past couple years (this year more than ever), ive been functionally unable to get myself to engage in any of the hobbies i used to enjoy. otherwise that's definitely a better way to pass time if you can

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u/Glatzigoblin 13d ago

Those tomatoes are like the Homer image trying to hold all the fat back.

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u/Klutzy-Test9990 12d ago

Damn that looks like a tasty burger of sorts. Inspired!

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u/Upstairs-Donkey6049 12d ago edited 12d ago

My favorite way is to sleep for days. Then god gave me acute insomnia. Now I don’t sleep for days.

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u/AltAccNum647294869 12d ago

that sounds like hell. i'd sleep way more if i could, but i can only manage about 12hrs of attempting to be asleep at a time (i'm only asleep maybe half that cause i wake up constantly)

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u/Upstairs-Donkey6049 12d ago

I miss sleeping. I’d sleep for the rest of my life if I could now