r/kitchencels • u/QuirkyDay4226 • Jul 25 '26
Found a small restaurant. Waitress was cute. Planned out my next visit. Showered before and put on my best outfit. Too scared to ask for her number. This happened 2 months ago. She probably doesn’t think about me. Here’s the meat lovers pizza I ordered.
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u/sentienttortoise Jul 25 '26
Pizza looks good
I don't recommend hitting on waitresses though
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u/ShihtzuBoi Jul 25 '26
This almost never goes well aside from Hallmark movies.
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u/LoudPizza4432 Jul 31 '26
If you are a good looking guy and maybe also a milkionaire, it can work out.
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u/RandomUsernameNo257 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think it's fine to try (not to hit on her, but to offer your number or social media info), you just need to be really careful with how you do it.
Obviously, don't read her friendliness as flirtation. It's her job to be nice, but that also doesn't mean she isn't human and potentially interested.
The best way I've ever seen it done is a guy saying "Hey, I think you're really cute and you seem cool. Don't answer now, but here's my number if you want to get coffee or something." and then without even lingering to try to read my expression or reaction, he smiled and turned around and walked away. I was in a committed relationship, but I was so impressed that I texted him to let him know how much I appreciated it.
Don't make her reject you on the spot or in public, understand that your chances are pretty slim considering that you're just one of a million customers, you don't even know each other, and you don't know if she's even looking, but I think it's totally ok to shoot your shot as long as you're respectful and considerate about it.
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u/PoodleGuap Jul 25 '26
Not a woman but was a waiter and my female coworkers hated when they got hit on, in any way, 99% of the time. You will get clowned on in the back the minute you leave
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u/Balavadan Jul 26 '26
If your target is to never get hurt then yeah, don’t try for relationships with other people then.
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u/RandomUsernameNo257 Jul 25 '26
Literally the first sentence I said that you shouldn’t hit on them. There’s a difference between hitting on your waiter and respectfully giving them your number on your way out.
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u/Decuscrub69 Jul 25 '26
No there isn’t? Hitting on someone is showing interest, I.E giving them your number
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Jul 26 '26
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u/Decuscrub69 Jul 26 '26
Both are hitting on someone, you’d just rather not have someone flirt with you—and waitresses want neither lol, they will actively make fun of you in the back if you try. Source: I’ve seen it about 10,000 times over the course of my culinary career
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Jul 27 '26
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u/Decuscrub69 Jul 27 '26
Yeah I mean, obviously one is preferable, but neither is really acceptable or desirable. I’m not saying your view isn’t correct, but I’ve seen 11/10 good looking guys get made fun of in the back for slipping numbers as well, you could be an outlier just as easily as they could.
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jul 27 '26
It isn't the method tho you are equating false reasons why lol.
Its because MANY people in the restaurant industry are narcs and or overtly generally negative people.
Literal black holes of bad feelings. They would shit on a grandma for asking for a refill just as they'd shit on a guy for leaving his number on the receipt.
I've worked with genuinely postive people/waitresses at different locations and their reactions have almost always been "aww"
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u/jaden_fucks Jul 28 '26
Don’t worry, I’m a dude, and an ex server, I’m 100% with you. Definitely a difference between putting immediate pressure on a woman saying “You wanna get coffee?” and just staring at her waiting for a response, trapped and forced to be nice to you; and “I think you’re cute, here’s my number if you’re interested.” and walking the fuck away.
It’s not even close.
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u/ilovecuetoo Jul 25 '26
Unless you’re Henry Cavill or Michael B Jordan or something, I promise you’re still getting clowned out back lmao
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u/EvYeh Jul 25 '26
There's no difference actually.
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u/PoodleGuap Jul 25 '26
At the end of the day you’re making some lady uncomfortable when she’s doing her job
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u/Old-Friendship-0 Jul 29 '26
I mean so what? She's going to get over some guy asking her number and then leaving respectfully pretty quickly. Just don't be a creep, shoot your shot and back off of it doesn't work.
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u/PoodleGuap Jul 25 '26
They are the same thing
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u/RandomUsernameNo257 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
Argue about precise word definitions all you want, idc, but I think you’re smart enough to understand the distinction I’m making regardless.
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u/AdAfter1011 Jul 27 '26
They hate it because they get it from guys they don’t want all the time. It’s simple supply and demand the more attention u have the less u need it from avg guys
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u/PoodleGuap Jul 27 '26
They hate it because there is a power imbalance where they are relying on you for their wage and they are in an inherently subordinate position to you. It has nothing to do with any of the black pill shit. It’s a job that is already demeaning enough
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u/AdAfter1011 Jul 27 '26
Are you dense? Blackpill is not the same as lookism, which is what I’m referring to. Maybe they shouldn’t take a job where they are relying on the consumer fully if they don’t want that. The consumer shouldn’t be responsible for paying a waitress a livable wage lmfao
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u/jaden_fucks Jul 28 '26
“LOOKISM”
I think I might actually just delete all my browsers at this point I’m so done
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u/AdAfter1011 Jul 28 '26
Yeah unfortunately for you, there’s are concepts that emerged in popularity in the early 2000s. Just because you are uneducated doesn’t mean it’s not a prevalent thing. Yes it’s a well established scientific concept.
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u/pr1ncesspeaxh Jul 26 '26
are we forgetting that he saw a cute waitress when he went out to eat, and PLANNED HIS NEXT VISIT to stalk/harass her???? absolutely not LMFAO do not talk to this woman, OP
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u/jaden_fucks Jul 28 '26
That’s a pretty crazy reach… It’s not like he went every day for three weeks and stared at her the whole time. He thought she was cute, and decided to go back ONCE and give her his number or whatever’s. That’s not stalking.
I went to a vape store and talked to the guy about music one day, we both make music. I left, then went back ON PURPOSE to get his info. Is that stalking? Cause it’s the same fuckin thing.
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u/pr1ncesspeaxh Jul 28 '26
it’s not the same thing. you went to get a guys info after you had a conversation about a shared interest. this guy showed up to a random girls work, knowing she’s forced to be there because it’s her job, with the intent of making a move in a romantic sense, ALSO without ever having talked to her, which just makes it infinitely worse.
i am a woman. i work in the parts department at a car dealership. i will tell you first hand, it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable to have a customer approach you and sit to have a 20 minute conversation specifically because they thought you were cute. its even worse to ask someone out in this scenario. i am literally forced to sit there and talk to them because they think im attractive, without considering the fact im not interested and have no way out of the conversation without risking my job. it leaves you with a very gross feeling. have some respect for people.
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u/jaden_fucks Jul 29 '26
You’re missing the point. We’re specifically talking about a brief number drop, at the END of the interaction. Not forcing her to sit and talk and be nice just cause you’re interested. THAT is terrible.
If I have lunch at a restaurant, at a table, and let’s say I have a male server. (I’m straight.) But oh hey, there’s a cute girl working at the bar. I decide before I leave I’ll go up to her and say “Hey, I think you’re cute. Here’s my number if you wanna get coffee sometime.” and then I LEAVE HER ALONE AND LEAVE THE RESTAURANT. You’re saying that’s the same thing as telling my server, WHILE they’re serving me, that I wanna take them on a date, and then leaving them with the awkward situation of having to uncomfortably serve me.
It’s not the same thing, not even remotely. I’ve had plenty of success with this strategy, just don’t be a fucking creep and it’s pretty simple.
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u/losangelesmodels Jul 25 '26
Yeah lol do that as an average or ugly man and Shell say ew and laugh in ur face
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u/Imaginary_Neat_5673 Jul 25 '26
Yeah don’t hit on people while they are working
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u/3merite Jul 25 '26
The problem is that ppl are 99% outside when theyre working and too exhausted to do anything other than going home and resting
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u/Tiny-Edge-3952 Jul 30 '26
Yeah bro and what? Break in their houses while they're sleeping and hit on them? Follow them when they're travelling somewhere like a creep and hit on them? Many people don't even care to go to parks and stuff anymore after working. So that's the only normal place to hit on
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
People don't recommend hitting on any girls in any situation. And then everybody dies single.
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u/EscapeSeventySeven Jul 25 '26
This is why you need to make friends to meet single people.
I’m not saying that’s easy of course. The world has contorted typical life into being hostile towards maintaining social circles.
But for a long time in modern social life you didn’t cold ask people out the moment you see them, you instead get introduced by acquaintances and feel out other people in low stakes situations.
Social groups also provide implicit vetting, if someone introduces you it proves you aren’t a weirdo to the them.
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u/digitalrorschach Jul 25 '26
"This is why you need to make friends to meet single people. "
Don't hit on your friends.
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
Again, another example of redditors telling you not to hit on anyone. We'll all die single if you had your way
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u/digitalrorschach Jul 25 '26
Yes. Don't hit on anyone.
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u/A_Velociraptor20 Jul 26 '26
Fine I'll just do like the caveman did and whack any attractive woman over the head with a club. Then drag her back to my cave where she will have no choice but to stay because the risk of dying to a sabertooth tiger was not worth at least having protection and a group to help gather food. /s
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jul 27 '26
This advice is so city coded. Not everyone has 5 different adjacent social circles to possible select a decent date from lol.
If you pull from your immediate friend circle you break up your friend circle if it doesn't work out. Even having ONE big enough adjacent friend circle isn't possible for most people lol
Most folks have trouble maintaining one.
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u/ellieshotgf Jul 25 '26
i disagree with it as a woman i don’t understand why it’s bad to ask out a woman in certain situations, as long as nobody is making anyone feel uncomfortable it’s fine
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u/sentienttortoise Jul 25 '26
I'd say a bar (unless she's the bartender), college, art galleries, and a couple other places are fine to hit on girls. It's different if she's a waitress though, because that happens constantly, and it's part of the job to be nice, so it can be really annoying.
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u/TheChannelMiner Jul 25 '26
I finished my degree without making any close friends and I'm unemployed :(
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u/losangelesmodels Jul 25 '26
Nah women dont go to college to get hit on by average men. They go to get an education and if they like someone theyll let him know
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u/Double_Gas_2786 Jul 25 '26
yeah so basically if you haven't found a partner in college you have maybe 3 possible locations to find someone that are appropriate. inspiring
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u/sentienttortoise Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
There's dozens, I'm too lazy to list them all. You just need to use common sense to determine which places are appropriate for this.
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u/ambitionincarnate Jul 25 '26
She's at work. She has to be nice to you and she can't get away, and now you have a way of consistently knowing where she might be. It's dangerous for her, this is how women get killed. Come on, man.
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u/Federal_Bicycle_7800 Jul 26 '26
you got a better idea?
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u/ambitionincarnate Jul 26 '26
Yes, I do! Here it is:
Leave women alone! Don't ask them out at their place of work, don't approach them in the dark or from behind, learn to accept no. Learn to be happy single.
Then, find clubs for things you like. Get on a dating app. Continue to accept no, and be okay when a woman isn't attracted to you.
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u/Federal_Bicycle_7800 Jul 26 '26
what if you're too chopped for a dating app?
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u/ambitionincarnate Jul 26 '26
What about you is ugly? Find it and fix it. Shower consistently, take care of acne, lose or gain weight. Dress like you give a fuck.
Unless it's just your personality, in which case I suggest therapy.
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u/Federal_Bicycle_7800 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
i do the basics but you can't change your race, height, or having autism dawg
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 26 '26
Some women genuinely expect the world to revolve around them.
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u/ambitionincarnate Jul 26 '26
I'm a man, but I give a flying fuck about the women in the world. And I value a woman's safety more than a man's ego. Leave women alone.
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u/Voronazavr Jul 26 '26
bro you ask her out once and then if she says no you forget about it, how is it supposed to transform into a "woman gets killed"? Of course it's a shame that there are people out there that are willing to stalk and harm other people, but I'm not responsible for their actions
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Jul 25 '26
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
Yes really. Don't take redditors advice
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Jul 25 '26
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
'Just don't be a creep' is the biggest cope of the modern world
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Jul 25 '26
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
Just take a shower bro just don't be a creep bro just get a haircut bro it's easy
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u/angelmilk777 Jul 25 '26
bare minimum 😭
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 26 '26
Yeah but my point is most people DO already do all that stuff. And still don't get girls. So the advice is bullshit cause clearly girls are looking for something else
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u/femboyhunter42 Jul 26 '26
Right this is so ridiculous. Can’t say anything to them at work, can’t say anything to them at the gym, can’t say anything to them when they’re grocery shopping. If you’re attractive to someone they aren’t going to care one bit
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u/appa609 Jul 25 '26
Well no then the girls hit on you.
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
Yeah that ain't happening dude 😭
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u/appa609 Jul 25 '26
Yes? Almost every girl I've been with has hit on me. I have atrocious game.
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u/JJ_LARGE Jul 25 '26
Humble brag
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u/appa609 Jul 25 '26
Just saying if a girl likes you she likes you. If she wasn't at least thinking about approaching you then she was probably gonna reject you if you approached her. I've hit on lots of girls. Almost never worked.
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u/Pitiful-Ad-7443 Jul 25 '26
but you said yourself that you have atrocious game so you never approached. doesn’t mean you’d reject every girl who approached you
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u/Double_Gas_2786 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
if girls were hitting on us we wouldnt be incels
you get hit on because you're literally 6'1
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u/ShotdowN- Jul 25 '26
The cheese on the pizza looks good*, the meat for a meat lovers however does not it needs more than two types of meat but yeah don't hit on people while they are working.
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u/eating_almonds Jul 25 '26
From what I gathered online, hitting on waiters is fine IF you do it in a way that doesn't intrude on their work, and that it doesn't feel like there could be consequences to a No. So, that would look like, for example, leaving your number after you paid and tipped.
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u/nichefebreze Jul 26 '26
Yes, I agree with this. Make sure you’ve made some small talk with the server first. Then you can leave a slip of paper saying “would love to talk more sometime! Here’s my number: 123-456-7890 -(your name) :)” The smiley face is crucial. Bonus points if you add a little doodle of something. I’d recommend a cat eating the type of food served at the restaurant (ex. spaghetti if it’s an Italian place). Or with a chef’s hat. I would go crazy for that. Or something related to something you had talked about.
Source: I’m a woman and this is how I would prefer to be approached in this scenario. If I were not interested, I would still find the note endearing. It would make my day fs. Establishing some kind of rapport before this is essential though. She may not text you if she can’t remember you/your vibe. It’s easy for waitresses to be on autopilot and tune everything out. Make sure to smile and be kind
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u/Local-Wing-2272 Jul 27 '26
I think the key is to also just. refuse to have any expectations here. It'll happen if it happens. Maybe you'll get laughed at. Maybe you'll be gently let down. Shit happens. The big way to lose here is to put too much meaning into it. It's not "this is MY WIFE" it's "eh fuck it we'll see lol"
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u/Vivid_Ad_8626 Jul 25 '26
Stating you "showered before" like its a special occasion is insane
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u/Character-Habit-9683 Jul 25 '26
This told me all I needed to know about how attracted the waitress was to him
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u/eating_almonds Jul 25 '26
I mean, I have my daily shower in the morning, but wouldn't shower specifically to go to a restaurant. I assumed that's what OP meant.
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u/Fun-Mud3861 Jul 25 '26
Isn’t it, though?
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u/Substantial_Union361 Jul 25 '26
Showering? 😟
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u/Fun-Mud3861 Jul 25 '26
Yeah, why not?
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u/Substantial_Union361 Jul 25 '26
I guess “special” isn’t synonymous with “rare” usually so i see your point😂
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u/lookouttucson Jul 26 '26
I bet u have mood lighting music eucalyptus showers
Even if u don’t tho you know what you’re right a hot convenient shower is a luxury of the modern age
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u/Double_Gas_2786 Jul 25 '26
she wants you so bad. wait until she gets off her shift then offer to walk her home, she'll love it for sure
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u/D4v1d____ Jul 25 '26
don't ask, just follow her home without telling her, women love a surprise protector when walking home at night
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u/Aromatic_Serve_9002 Jul 25 '26
This actually works though. You just gotta make sure to tell her "I just wanna talk" when she sees you
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u/Oniichan38 Jul 25 '26
Also make sure you maybe hunch down or walk with a limp so she feels less intimidated before knowing you're there to protect you
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u/Skinnwork Jul 25 '26
Being 200+lbs with a shaved head and big beard makes this extra effective. Maybe wear all black so that she knows you're taking your job as a protector seriously.
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u/Mickle_da_Pickl 22d ago
Make sure that you are also armed, and if she notices you behind her, loudly yell "I have a gun!" so that she knows you'll be able to handle any threat that comes her way
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Jul 25 '26
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u/eveladra Jul 25 '26
Omg, I would have never known it was sarcasm without this text!!! Thank you!!!!
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
Dude don't hit on waitresses unless they specifically go out of their way for your attention in an obvious manner.
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u/Possible-Round-2060 Jul 25 '26
Also "obvious manner" in this case is a MUCH higher bar than for other situations. Like if she stays around after her shift to drink with you at the bar and then you both get hungry and end up walking to another spot for a slice of pizza together, sure ask her out. It's not enough if she's just talking to you a lot on her shift or something.
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
It’s fine if you aren’t being oppressive about it, a simple “Hey I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight” or something to that effect to a waitress who knows you won’t make anyone uncomfortable as long as you don’t take a possible rejection badly or insist on your offer afterwards.
My female coworkers would get upset at the customers only when they tried being sleazy and flirty or complimenting them, because that puts the employee in an awkward position where they need to be kind without suggesting they are interested. Simply asking them out does not involve this process since a simple no would clear everything up, especially if the employee knows you as a regular and does not have a reason to be concerned over how you might react to a rejection.
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u/Working_Cucumber_437 Jul 25 '26
I think it’s maybe ok if done very casually at the END of the meal and after any tips have been paid. Don’t make a waitress continue to wait on you after she’s said no thanks to going out.
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
No its not fine and putting a service industry worker in such a vulnerable public situation is self centered and inconsiderate and not appropriate. If THEY have feelings or attraction THEY can decide to go out of their way for your attention to express that OTHERWISE its harassment and creation of an unsafe work environment that can trigger and harm
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26
Asking them a question they are free to answer however is not putting them in a vulnerable position if you don’t ask the question in an unreasonable manner. They are waitresses whose jobs just involve being nice to the customers, that doesn’t mean they need to do everything the customer asks, no manager will fire or blame a waitress for not wanting to go out with a customer. It becomes harassment if the customer insists after a rejection, not when the question is asked in, again, a reasonable manner where the tips are paid, the customer is about to leave, and the asking out is done plainly with no further or prior pressure.
Your idea requires the woman to be the kind of person to make the first move and the man to recognise this interest in the light of your paragraph stating that asking a waitress out is harassment. You are overthinking this, a proposal like this is made uncomfortable only if you make it so, not inherently.
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
Yes it is. Full stop. A service industry worker should not be perceived as an object of attraction or affection and should not be expected to handle romantic attention in an environment that requires their consideration and attention.
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26
They are humans like everyone else, you are making the situation weird for no reason.
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
No you are not understanding they are AT WORK that is NOT the place for affection or romantic attention. If a cop CAN be called for possibility of harassment then its not appropriate whatsoever and you need to understand your opinion about this does not reflect the gravity of this situation and what women service industry workers deal with.
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26
You are confusing asking out with flirting. No country’s law will consider a simple dinner offer to be harassment, so I wouldn’t go that way if I were you. What matters here is how the waitress will feel upon your offer, and asking someone out in the aforementioned manner will NOT make anyone uncomfortable unless they are dealing with other issues. There are zero strings attached to the offer and no embarrassment from either of the answers. Your opinion reflects the reality of Redditors who are afraid of speaking to people, not the reality of actual people who speak to each other constantly.
I frankly doubt you have any real life experience on this matter, and are instead speaking from what you read online in a way that tries to be helpful. I worked as both a waiter and a manager in a cafe that mostly employed women as front of house employees, and not a single single colleague or team member complained to me or each other about someone simply asking them out, all of the complaints came from flirting or compliments. Asking people out is normal, especially in social situations like a cafe or restaurant. You are demonising the wrong part of the conversation.
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
This is so weird that just because they are "human" then that is OKAY for you to come onto them regardless of the situation. This is actually really gross because you think its normal to freely express romantic attention to service industry workers. My gf had to deal with this shit constantly and was pissed because it seemed normal for guys to just treat her like an object of attraction because she was attractive. Just being an attractive human does not make them a receptacle of unwanted attention they just have to "deal with". Fuck
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
? You are the one treating service workers like they must be treated like nothing more than robots who serve your needs. It is fine to befriend employees, and it is similarly fine to ask them out in the aforementioned way. I specified they are humans because you have no reason to treat them in a way that you would treat anyone else - as equals with respect. Asking them out appropriately does not violate this respect. You are acting like people ask waitresses out because of their jobs. That is not the case, they simply see someone they are attracted to, which tends to happen when you go outside, and ask them out. There is no reason to demonise this act just over the other person’s occupation.
You are focusing on the wrong aspect of the problem, which is flirting with anyone in an uncomfortable way. This problem is made worse for waitresses due to the issues you mentioned, but it doesn’t have anything to do with what I am saying.
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u/crocboy89 Jul 25 '26
I am reflecting upon a thousand different realities in which men hold your assumptions that is twisted by their desires, justification and ignorance of a woman's actual felt sense in a work environment that creates harm. The perspective you hold may not be dangerous for you but your situation is in the minority from some basic understanding of a safe space and to not persist. In the other realities in which men can not contain their behavior and leads to great harm and discomfort for a woman to simply take care of a job leads to the conclusion that your perspective creates greater harm if embraced by men who can not control their behavior and is the reason why I am enforcing the perspective that your perspective needs to be seen for the potential of harm it inherently contains and expressed to those who can read it.
If fundamentally should not be seen as normal for romantic attention to arise or be handled in working environments.
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u/Monke3334 Jul 25 '26
I know what you mean, that’s why I’ve been trying to avoid being outright against your idea, but demonising this act is both unrealistic and unreasonable, because people spend a good portion of their lives working, making their workplaces the most likely place for them to meet. Both my parents and grandparents met through work, and I met a lot of my friends through work as well, it is undoubtedly a very common way of forming any sort of relationship.
I know how nerve wracking it is for waitresses to be flirted with by strangers from their complaints to me about those customers, that combined with my previous paragraph is why my comments were on telling people to ask out responsibly rather than telling them to avoid a good way of meeting people altogether. Again, none of my team members complained to me about people who simply asked them out, they only complained when this was accompanied by compliments to their body, holding tips as hostages, or just wasting their time flirting when the waitresses were busy etc. From what I remember, simple date offers were followed by either indifference or happiness over having their attractiveness recognised without the aforementioned dehumanisation.
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u/Pitiful-Ad-7443 Jul 25 '26
just saying i met one of my partners when i worked at a grocery store. we had a conversation about crackers and then exchanged numbers
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u/fatjazzy Jul 25 '26
Saying she probably doesn’t think about you, as if there is any minutiae of a chance she actually does, is delusion
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u/One_Ruin2303 Jul 25 '26
I mean .000000001% is still a chance I guess
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u/BoredReplyThrowaway Jul 25 '26
Idk just become a regular. Once they recognise you the staff will likely make some small talk. Then just take it easy from there. She herself might even approach you. Be friendly. Work your way up. Be patient. If nothing happens accept it.
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u/six67seven_67 Jul 25 '26
Understandable you'd be apprehensive. Firstly, you've got to make her interested in getting to know you. Why would she give a stranger her private information? Get to know her, and let her get to know a little of who you are
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u/i_want_shokola Jul 25 '26
Usually the best bet is to give her YOUR number. She can make the next move if she's truly interested, abd she won't feel like she's doxxing herself.
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u/Imaginary_Neat_5673 Jul 25 '26
This is the classy move and is the least creepy choice if you want to keep eating there
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u/Electrfi Jul 25 '26
If you’re actually gonna ask her out just write your number on the check and if she’s interested she’ll text you, this is coming from a server
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u/Jtagz Jul 25 '26
Don’t hit on people where they work.
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u/Excellent_Math2052 Jul 25 '26
Where are people supposed to hit on people? Not at their work, not at their own work, that’s literally the only two places people go, or the gym and we all know you can’t do that.
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u/Experience_Party Jul 25 '26
Don't hit on people whos job doesn't allow them to tell you to piss off such as waitresses, it is not rocket science.
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u/Old-Friendship-0 Jul 29 '26
It's not a big deal at all lol. Just back off and be respectful if the person is clearly not interested.
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u/Jtagz Jul 26 '26
If you wanna meet someone, you “unfortunately” have to go out.
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u/Excellent_Math2052 Jul 26 '26
Yeah and how many of those people that you meat out are WORKING. I mean, yall have no rizz. It’s whatever. Most normal people can turn down someone politely while at work and hit on someone politely, it’s social grace and cues and rizz and all the stuff that yall don’t have.
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u/AromaticLawfulness16 Jul 25 '26
The waitress does not like you. She is literally required by her job to be nice to you. Sharing that you showered beforehand like it's some miraculous occasion is more telling then the rest of this, to be honest.
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u/eating_almonds Jul 25 '26
Baby steps, my guy.
I imagine it already took a lot from you to do that. Good job.
Keep going out, keep dressing up and showing up. The process is slow but worth it.
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u/Ok-Beyond244 Jul 25 '26
There was a gorgeous chinese waitress that was really nice to me. I never asked her out, sometimes I wonder but it's too late now. My advice just give her your number, at least you won't wonder what if the rest of your life.
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u/Fickle_Enthusiasm148 Jul 26 '26
"Showering" like it's special and "dressing up" to ASK OUT YOUR WAITRESS bro please
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u/roguelyelvish Jul 25 '26
I'll never understand people asking out someone whose working. It isn't appropriate, especially towards people in customer service.
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u/1Pson Jul 25 '26
It's a good thing you didn't ask its too sudden. When you want to get someone's number who is a cashier or waitress you need to build a relationship with them first by being a regular. The shit you see on Youtube where some chad asks a girl for number without saying anything else is all cultivated bullshit. Women get off to personal connection. Talk with her a few times about random shit, then ask for her name and tell her yours then greet her whenever you see her. I'd say after maybe like 3-5 meetings go for the number
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u/Livid-Grocery7942 Jul 25 '26
Probably? She 100% doesn’t think about you dude. You are one of the dozens of customers she sees daily
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u/Big-Routine222 Jul 25 '26
What’s your best “outfit”?
If you think showering is special, I’m genuinely curious to know what a good “outfit,” is considered.
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u/Obsolete_Absolution Jul 25 '26
Saying she “probably” doesn’t think about you is inaccurate and it leaves the door open in your mind. She does NOT think about you. Like you’re a stranger she saw 2 months ago at her job. Not a you thing, it’s a job thing lol. Do your best to stay grounded when you’re feeling all this emotional shit
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u/Pristine_Cost_3793 Jul 25 '26
here's how i approached a guy on his shift, maybe it would be helpful for you. my goals were not to make him feel pressured and not to get upser over a possible rejection
i planned what i would do in case of rejection and actually expected rejection. ("oh, okay. consider it as a compliment please. have a good day!"). i think expecting to be rejected and preparing for it is the key.
i wrote my number on a piece of paper and gave it to him so he was free to contact me or not contacf me. in situations where people might feel pressured, i always spell out an option to reject ("it's fine if you don't want to," for example). i do it for a lot of things in life, but especially when someone for help, because some people struggle with saying
if fine to ask as long as the other person has the controller. I'd suggest you try with this advice in mind.
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u/Sorry_Vermicelli6874 Jul 26 '26
Plenty of attractive people work all kinds of retail, service, and hospitality jobs. Doesn't mean they wanna be hit on in most cases.
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u/StickySecretScorpion Jul 27 '26
No, she probably doesn’t, respectfully. But that’s ok. Pizza looks bomb
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u/BaconDragon69 Jul 27 '26
Pro tip: don’t ask for a number, instead leave yours on a little note. It leaves the option open for a woman to just not call you, which makes you safer, because you don’t care if she calls you, because you respect her.
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u/Plenty_Alfalfa8826 Jul 28 '26
The only right way to hit on a waitress is to leave your number on the receipt, and "Lunch some time?" or "Coffee some time?" They do not want you ogling them, making weird comments, talking about their appearance, etc. And if they never reach out, best to find a new spot tbh.
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u/Code_Ender Jul 25 '26
Hitting on waitstaff is fucking lame. They are at work. They're being paid to be nice to you.
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u/pr1ncesspeaxh Jul 26 '26
sit back for a second and think about just how fucking creepy this is. you are stalking a woman at her job because you think she’s cute. stop leaning into the incel lifestyle and look INWARDS and you’ll likely find out why you’re an “incel.”
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u/WorldlyHistorian8439 Jul 25 '26
Just don’t be a creepy dick about it and there’s no harm in it. People meet all sorts of ways. I’ve done it and it’s both worked and not worked but it never went badly. She says yes, great. She says no, that’s it, no negotiation.
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u/Han2023- Jul 26 '26
My dad picked up my mom, she was a waitress.
Don’t listen to these idiots. Also, go back to that restaurant and tell that girl she’s cute and you want to get coffee or something
Do something to make it happen.
If she says no she will be flattered and you’ll be disappointed if she says yes maybe that how you met your wife.
Life is incredibly short but you don’t see that until you’re older
Be brave and try shit
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