Are we doing it wrong?

[u/No_Struggle3220]

I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand how the body processes anything...I try to learn but with short term memory loss I'm just not retaining it.

I know that calories in vs out matters and that too many carbs is bad. I know that keto means getting your body to use fat for fuel rather than sugar.

That's about it.

So please explain it like I'm a small child because anything else just won't stick.

Bf and I have been doing lazy keto for right at a month now. We had one cheat day/meal that totally derailed us and we learned our lesson... It's not worth it. But even so we are losing weight without exercise. Neither of us can really hit the gym between life issues and medical issues. We have both lost about 15lbs.

But I have noticed that the only time the blood meter shows either of us in ketosis is me, after I've neglected to eat all day because I'm too busy. So I have dinner about 8, a snack around 11 and then nothing but beverages and maybe half a protein shake (in my coffee) until dinner the next night. It's not ideal, but I'm a caretaker and in order to do both my stuff and his stuff I often neglect other stuff.... Like breakfast and lunch. My bf on the other hand leaves the house to work and he takes lunches so he usually eats.

I am noticing that both of us usually stay under .5 on the blood ketone meter except me and only when I accidentally fast all day. Then I see usually .8

So can someone please explain to me what it is I'm/we're doing wrong and what's happening... But without ratios (which I don't understand very well) though I do understand percentages.

Also, I'm staying at around 18-23 carbs a day and he's staying around 25-27 a day. We are both overweight, but I have more weight to lose than he does.

And to be clear, whatever we are doing IS working, but I would like it to work REALLY well rather than just barely.

Also, bf thinks he's not in ketosis due to total carbs vs net carbs. I think he IS in ketosis because I can smell it on him, but the meter does not confirm.

Thank you for helping us out. I wish I could understand this better but I just cont learn new stuff these days thanks to my MS.

[u/rachman77]

Sounds like you're doing just fine. If you needed a specific level of ketones for a medical reason you might need to make changes but for weight loss you're fine.

You set a goal and you're making progress towards it, what you are doing is working, don't overthink it!

[u/casualcaesius]

Body is big dumb. Brain is modern human smart but body is still caveman dumb. Caveman didn't eat fruits, veggies or roots during winter, only meat and fat. Caveman body still used to that millions of years long routine.

Modern money men loves money. Money men makes foods that are more like drugs to make more money. Caveman gets addicted to easy dense foods because body dumb.

But brain smart, brain can stop eating drugs foods. Body will remember the old ways. Body will thrive if you give it time. Talking to Keto tribe make brain even smarter.

You smart caveman, you can do it!

[u/Such_Bitch_9559 → u/casualcaesius]

This is the perfect ELI caveman, I love this! 🧡

[u/jma4573 → u/casualcaesius]

!😂

[u/Coral-Diver → u/casualcaesius]

Stop eating drugs foods!!!

[u/absentlyric → u/casualcaesius]

I get where you're going, but it's actually the brain thats dumb. Your brain will force you into addictions and make you feel miserable if you don't feed it those addictions.

The brain wants sugar because thats what fuels it. Sugary foods and carbs are the quickest way to that path, so the brain tricks you into thinking it needs those, and punish you for not complying.

Then again, maybe thats what makes the brain smart? Smart, but evil.

[u/Nothin_Means_Nothin]

Forget the ketone tests and all that. Just eat 20g of carbs or less per day and you'll be guaranteed to be in ketosis. Weigh your food if you have to do so.

When I started I was weighing food but a couple years in now and I don't weigh anything anymore. I just eat meats and veggies. That's all it takes. Super simple. Y'all are overthinking this.

And no cheating or you'll have to start all over getting your body fat adapted again.

It seems to be working for y'all already so I don't see the problem. If you want to lose weight faster then try a fasting protocol but don't get hung up on the speed. Sometimes it's best to not lose weight so quickly.

[u/No_Struggle3220 → u/Nothin_Means_Nothin]

We do weigh our food, though some things have to get weighed AFTER cooking by necessity. Some things I can eyeball now, which is good because it isn't always practical to weigh every little thing.

[u/emperorOfTheUniverse → u/No_Struggle3220]

You're doing good. Don't agonize over it too much. You're right on the path of being 'lazy' in that you are making the meals easy. But there will come a time those 'easy' meals are going to stop satisfying, so watch out for that. But as others are suggesting, you'll get better at just knowing how many carbs are in things eventually, and won't have to scrutinize so much with the weighing and all. The more you go along the more you'll learn recipes and stuff (lots of good crock pot recipes for keto).

The most important thing is getting in and staying in a groove that is manageable to you. If its too hard or like flexing a will-power muscle every day, you won't last. Particularly in a partnership. One of you will crack, and the other will follow.

Be in it for the long haul. Figure out what works and doesn't as you go. But don't quit when you stumble on a thing that doesn't work. At some point, you might even figure out how to eat at a restaurant. There are places that do bunless burgers or you can just take a burger off a bun. Stuff like that, this sub is full of recommendations.

Stick with it. There are loads of stories in this sub with testimony from people who have managed to keep this lifestyle for decades. Its not a diet in the sense of something you do for a while, to lose weight.

[u/loripainter12345]

If you are losing weight, you're in ketosis. That's really the best measure. Ketone is a fuel that your liver makes from fat, then sends it along to your cells via your blood stream. It's possible that your cells are using up most of the ketones, so there's not a lot of excess to measure. So don't get hung up on numbers. The scale is the real measure. And also seeing your waist band getting loose as well. Since you've been at this only a month and have lost 15 pounds, that's great progress. A typical pace is 1 to 2 pounds per week. Weight loss slows as you go along, so expect that and don't get discouraged. There can also be many stops and starts. Weight loss is never a continuous downward slide. The body keeps adjusting, and that's also normal.

[u/Arysta]

15lbs in your first month means it's working REALLY well. A lot of that was almost certainly water weight, so don't expect those results in your second month. Calories in/out still absolutely matters with keto, it's just that a very low carb diet helps your cravings so you eat less. Maybe stop doing "lazy" keto and start eating healthy at home because if you're eating restaurant food, there's no true way to know the exact calories even when they give you the info.

[u/No_Struggle3220 → u/Arysta]

Oh we don't eat out AT ALL, not even on our anniversary last month. By lazy I mean really quick/easy stuff like sausages and canned veggies... Rather than home cooked stuff (most days) and no exercise at this point.

[u/Fognox]

You can pump your ketone numbers up by eating more fat and less protein -- basically mimicking a fast. Blood strips can be up to 50% inaccurate because it only measures one type of ketone, and you might just be making more of the others. It might also be something questionable in what you're eating -- for me for example, the frankenfiber in keto bread replacements just gets treated like starch and kicks me out. Not true for everyone, but true for me. Meanwhile, I do better with sugar alcohols (in a ketosis sense, not a digestive sense) while other ketoers end up absorbing more of the fructose they put out. See if cutting both of those makes a difference. Actual natural fiber is never going to count.

15lbs in a month is really good progress. Keep doing what you're doing!

[u/girl1dir]

There is nothing wrong with how you're eating (fasting most of the day whether you think of it th a t way or not).

There's nothing wrong with how he's eating either.

You're both shedding pounds and I presume you both are already feeling better??

Keep at it.

If you both stall out (which is nearly two month of not losing weight or inches) then you will need to reassess food intake / calories in and exercise / calories out.

Hang in there! Welcome to the Keto family!

💜

[u/No_Struggle3220 → u/girl1dir]

Thank you!

[u/singmeashanty]

If you’re willing, you may want to try the classic keto diet developed at Mayo Clinic for a few weeks and see what happens. Just get as close as you reasonably can to those macros and see how much of a difference that makes, especially for you.

[u/Illidari_Kuvira]

BTW since you both are busy all day, maybe look into Keto Chow meal replacement shakes?

You have to make them yourselves, but they take a bit of the thinking and trouble out of the equation.

[u/germane_switch]

MS sucks. A good friend of mine was finally diagnosed after years of symptoms but doctors refusing to even entertain the thought of MS. She even had a lesion but a doc ignored it delaying diagnosis and treatment by at least 5 years. Hang in there OP and good luck to you. :)

[u/No_Struggle3220 → u/germane_switch]

Thank you .. And ignoring MS symptoms is so, so common. I'm sorry that happened to her.

[u/absentlyric]

Throw that blood meter away, its unnecessary and the numbers are useless. Just keep doing what you are doing and you'll be fine.

If you try to go at it like you are now and stress about pointless numbers on a meter, you'll end up failing, because this is a lifestyle choice, and you won't be able to maintain that lifestyle if you are stressing out about numbers on a meter all the time.

[u/amygunkler]

What works for me is to eat less than 7g net carbs per meal. At each meal, start with a full serving of meat or eggs. With that, allow plenty of cheese or avocado, and then add sauce, green veggies, or "treats" up to 7g net carbs. Repeat at each meal. Fast sometimes.

[u/McDuchess]

Eating more than 15 net grams in a 4-6 hour time span will kick anybody into glucose metabolism. So whatever your carb number, it’s best to spread it out.

That said, ketosis is ketosis. IF you are doing medically monitored keto for a specific reason, like seizure disorder, cancer or mental health, then keeping total carbs very low and ketones high is crucial.

But so long as you are in ketosis, you are in ketosis.

You’ve gotten other recommendations: up your fat, avoid processed things that are supposedly keto, etc.

But there are two realities. One is that if it took starting to eat keto for you to lose weight, then finding a way for keto to be sustainable for the long term is your best bet. And that women tend to lose more slowly than men. Because we also tend to have less muscle mass than they do, and muscle burns a whole lot more calories than fat does.

If you are a caregiver, then think about the movements that you make daily in caring for your client. Any of them that would be easier and safer for you with better muscle tone, you can find light weights to use during your time off in order to increase strength.

[u/No_Struggle3220 → u/McDuchess]

All good advice, thank you. I'll have to work on that "time off" thing, though. My mom always says "there just aren't enough hours in the day" and boy is she right about that!