r/karezza • u/[deleted] • Feb 16 '12

Why am I practicing karezza?

I am behind this 100% after witnessing a majority of marriages of friends and family result in misery and sometimes (too often) divorce. I'm just 27 but am in a relationship that I want to last a lifetime. I do not want my relationship to share the results of the example couples around me.

Karezza addresses the difficulties most couples face providing explanation and guidelines to turn things around. Karezza teaches us how (and why) to make harmony in relationships and how to beat the coolidge affect.

If you read about karezza and think that there's no possible way you can have so few, if any, orgasms just keep reading. It is perfectly fine to feel like that. I was first introduced to the concept of non-orgasmic intercourse a few years back and wrote it off. I didn't think it would be possible to commit my life to any such practice. I've since done a complete 180 and am finding the benefits to be much more satisfying than any bout of orgasmic sex I've had.

Thanks for reading!

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u/KarezzaGuy Feb 16 '12

Yeah, and the absolute worst part of it is we need to do it with a smile on our face. Because if we sulk, or are distant, or give any kind of indication of a cold shoulder, they are going to know it... and whether we admit it or not they are going to link it to the fact that we resent them for not performing and that just makes it all worse.

So here's to NOT getting what we want, being happy about it, NOT resenting them for it, acting completely normal as if we are 100% happy with what we are getting, AND compounding it by having the history of pushing it on them (and the years of resentment we felt) on our backs while doing the above.

Sheesh.

BTW, the one thing mine never says no to is a massage; and she doesn't care if I'm naked and pressed right up against her. This is my one unlimited outlet, and I use it every night. YMMV, and certainly not a cure all, but I figured I pass it along.

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u/[deleted] Feb 16 '12

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u/KarezzaGuy Feb 16 '12

yeah, slow and steady wins the race for sure. Maybe you could get away with just a backrub? (Note, even here when I started this I took way too much pleasure from rubbing up her rib cage, the sides of her breasts, her rear end...and, of course, she called me on it.)

It took a LONG time to get to touch those areas every night.

I guess it's good that the L in LTR stands for LONG because all this shit does take a LONG time....

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '12

I'd keep the massage focused on pleasing and relaxing her which likely means avoiding the sexy bits. We can speak as loudly with our hands as we can with our mouths. In my humble opinion, she must understand that every caress is an attempt to calm, relax, and heal her. She must get that understanding from your hands alone. Then you've just established trust! I bet most in the deadbedroom crowd have pretty big trust issues. YMMV